Saving the world one word at a time

east of eden

2011-08-17T09:52:00.013-04:00

Updated: August 22, 2011: Considering the passing of Jack Layton today, I have decided to update this post and put the quote from East of Eden at the top, and move my previous intro to the end of the quote. Reason being, I feel that these words by John Steinbeck apply to Jack Layton's legacy. Your body may die, but you may live forever as long as people talk about you. Please excuse the attempt at humour at the end, that was my original intro to this passage.

-----

A child may ask, “What is the world’s story about?” And a grown man or woman may wonder, “What way will the world go? How does it end and, while we’re at it, what’s the story about?”

I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one, that has frightened and inspired us, so that we live in a Pearl White serial of continuing thought and wonder. Humans are caught – in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too – in a net of good and evil. I think this is the only story we have and that it occurs on all levels of feeling and intelligence. Virtue and vice were warp and woof of our first consciousness, and they will be the fabric of our last, and despite any changes we may impose on field and river and mountain, on economy and manners. There is no other story.A man, after he has brushed of the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well – or ill?

Herodotus, in the Persian War, tells a story of how Croesus, the richest and most favoured king of his time, asked Solon the Athenian a leading question. He would not have asked it if he had not been worried about the answer. “Who,” he asked, “is the luckiest person in the world?” He must have been eaten with doubt and hungry for reassurance. Solon told him of three lucky people in old times. And Croesus more than likely did not listen, so anxious was he about himself. And when Solon did not mention him, Croesus was forced to say “Do you not consider me lucky?”

Solon did not hesitate in his answer. “How can I tell?” he said. “You aren’t dead yet.”

And this answer must have haunted Croesus dismally as his luck disappeared, and his wealth and his kingdom. And he was being burned on a tall fire, he may have thought of it and perhaps wished he had not asked or not been answered.

And in our time, when a man dies – if he has had wealth and influence and power and all the vestments that arouse envy, and after the living take stock of the dead man’s property and his eminence and works and monuments – the question is still there: Was his life good or was it evil? – which is another way of putting Croesus’s question. Envies are gone, and the measuring stick is: “Was he loved or was he hated? Is his death felt as a loss or does a kind of joy come of it?”

I remember clearly the deaths of three men. One was the richest man of the century, who, having clawed his way to wealth through the souls and bodies of men, spent many years trying to buy back the love he had forfeited and by that process performed great service to the world and perhaps, had much more than balanced the evils of his rise. I was on a ship when he died.The news was posted on the bulletin board, and nearly everyone received the news with pleasure. Several said, “Thank God that son of a bitch is dead.”

Then there was a man, smart as Satan, who, lacking some perception of human dignity and knowing all too well every aspect of human weakness and wickedness, used his special knowledge to warp men, to buy men, to bribe and threaten and seduce until he found himself in a position of great power. He clothed his motives in the names of virtue, and I have wondered whether he ever knew that no gift will ever buy back a man’s love when you have removed his self-love. A bribed man can only hate his briber. When this man died the nation rang with praise and, just beneath, with gladness that he was dead.

There was a third man, who perhaps made many errors in performance but whose effective life was devoted to making men brave and dignified and good in a time when they were poor and frightened and when ugly forces were loose in the world to utilize their fears. This man was hated by the few. When he died, the people burst into tears in the streets and their minds wailed, “What can we do now? How can we go on without him?”

In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty, men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed, most of their vices are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influences and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try to live so that our death brings no pleasure to the world.

We have only one story. All novels, all poetry, are built on the never ending contest in ourselves of good and evil. And it occurs to me that evil must constantly re-spawn, while good, while virtue, is immortal. Vice has always a new fresh young face, while virtue is venerable as nothing else in the world is.

----

Googling images for "East of Eden" brought me to a picture of a popular Korean Drama called, unsurprisingly, "East of Eden". Apparently it is popular in Korea.

The East of Eden that I was looking for was the novel by John Steinbeck. I read it. It melted my face off. Apparently it has Biblical under/over tones.

Irrelevant

Apartment Advice from Cocoa on Vimeo.

Ok, perhaps not irrelevant, as it safe to say that the book's title perhaps also alludes to a Biblical reference. But that's not why I wanted to write about it.

The book is in 4 parts, and the beginning of the 4th part has a chapter which, considering what has happened in the book up and to that point, well, let me just say that this part melted my face off.

After a cursory check on copyright laws (5% can be copied) which may have been more of an academic regulation than a legal one, I have determined that I can, nay, shall, transcribe the portion that I so enjoyed.

If you plan on reading East of Eden, you may not want to read on. If you don't plan on reading East of Eden, then you really should adjust your plans. If you've mistakenly arrived thinking this is a post about a Korean TV drama, my apologies.

---

the book from where i sit

2011-04-18T10:05:00.009-04:00

Just finished reading Doug Glanville's The Game from where I Stand over the weekend. It fulfilled my quota of a baseball book every April, a little personal reading exercise I've participated in for the last 5 or six years.

Baseball and books seem to go hand in hand together. Perhaps because unlike some other, faster paced sports, in baseball there can be a story within every pitch.

But that's not what Glanville approaches in his book. The Game From Where I Stand is more of a very brief life story about a man who's primary occupation has been baseball for the past few years. Glanville does a good job of heaping praise; for example his admiration for Tom Glavine isn't anything groundbreaking for anyone who's been exposed to Glavine's personality from beat writers. He does an even better job of respecting the privacy of others, whether it be a female associate or a player suspected of juicing (whose name has not been revealed by the Mitchell report).

In that respect, his book fails in the shocking expose category, a category easily catered to by the TMZing of mainstream society. His stories are real, but in keeping somethings held back you get to understand that Glanville is a man of integrity who will not attract attention to himself by using others.

I'm not saying I want an expose of a book like Canseco's Juiced, far from it. Although releasing a name or two as a suspected "juicer" surely would have put Glanville's book on a more populated book tour and perhaps garnered a greater release, it would have lowered the class of the book.

This book has class. It's about baseball from the viewpoint of a professional major leaguer who's played very recently. His anecdotes are heartfelt; and if you're an Expos fan, you will enjoy his take on Montreal.

It was fun to read, a good insight into another major leaguer. To that extent I will provide a single excerpt of a passage that spoke to me;

We call it advancement, the act of getting closer to something ahead or in front of us. But when we lock in on that target as the next step, sometimes we forget what got us here. The need to demonstrated success, the show, and glitter all play into why we can end up chasing illusions that take us away from our true selves.
All players battle with this in some form, and most get lost for at least a moment or two. (If you are lucky, that's the worst of it.) But when you get disoriented, you just have to be courageous enough to turn around, regroup, and look for home. That place where you can look closer of the matchup of needs versus wants.
Even if you have to go back down those stairs for a while.

morass n: swamp

Unassisted Triple play

2008-05-12T20:38:00.004-04:00

This is how fast the internet works. 8:30 pm Lyle Overbay hits into an unassisted triple play.

By 8:35 Wikipedia has been updated.

By 8:40 I had checked online to see how many unassisted triple plays there have been in the history of baseball (15 now including today).

cogent adj 1: having power to compel or constrain [cogent forces]2 a: appealing forcibly to the mind or reason : convincing [cogent evidence] b: pertinent, relevant [a cogent analysis]

is there anybody out there? – a problem with the nhl

2007-12-18T22:21:00.001-05:00

Note: this is the second part of a two part post, much like the complimentary songs in the Wall or peanut butter and jelly, this post goes hand in hand with the previous post.

It begins with a sorta surreal moment, watching someone play the theme (?) to Halo 3 on Guitar Hero III. No need to watch the whole thing, in fact, I encourage reading and listening to what will probably be the sample track on the top pop song in the summer of 2017.

There have been some issues raised recently with the NHL. They include:

Not enough fighting.

Too much fighting.

Too much expansion diluting the talent base.

Too much expansion into the US and not being able to find an identity.

Gary Bettman.

Lack of respect among players for each other.

The game is too fast.

Economic..... stuff

...and so forth.

I'm here to present another plausible option.

Since the dawn of time, people have gathered around fires and told fables of gladiators, philosophers, kings and paupers. Today, our fire is the internet, our gladiators; athletes.

What stories can we pass on about hockey players in the 21^st century? That they were the first athletes to get lifelong contracts? I'm struggling to think of their legacy, and perhaps I've disabled a few brain cells and am therefore unable to come up with stories. Here's what comes to mind, Hockey story wise.

Nagano 1998, Dominik Hasek leading the Czech's by Canada as Wayne Greztky, at the end of his career, chasing the one accolade that he had yet to achieve, sitting on the bench holding back tears.

Leafs playoff runs, pre-lockout.

The Flames and Oilers incredible playoff runs. Fans that cared. Sorry, but with all due respect, I'm sure some south east teams have ardent fans, and I know they have ardent bloggers, but the game is not entrenched in those markets as it is elsewhere. In fact, even in certain entrenched areas, (Detroit, Chicago) the game is fading. Passing away into obscurity. Why? There are probably a hundred and one reasons.

Why do people watch sports, watch tv, listen to the radio? Answer could lie in the entertainment, drama, information garnered from them.

Games that have meaning, games that have stories; those are the ones worth watching and remembering. There are far too many options in this day and age, far too many other entertainment outlets a person can hook their wagon to. Games, all 82 (84?) of them just aren't interesting. Say what you want about football, but at least there are only 18 (CFL) or 16 (NFL) games that have a chance to be boring. 82 games * 2.5 hours per game is a lot of time. Sometimes less is more.

As it has a solid core, a solid fan base, the game won't die. Hockey will just continue to struggle in purgatory until it learns that it is not alone.

dissonance n: 1 a: lack of agreement; especially : inconsistency between the beliefs one holds or between one's actions and one's beliefs — compare cognitive dissonance b: an instance of such inconsistency or disagreement
2: a mingling of discordant sounds; especially : a clashing or unresolved musical interval or chord

halo cruel world

2007-12-04T19:37:00.001-05:00

Photo taken from my car driving home from work yesterday. Snow and ice bending the tree on the left, but you can probably see that for yourself.

It's been a while, and finally there's something to say. Well, two thoughts, really. Perhaps they warrant two separate posts, but I'm going to bob and weave them into one. Putting things off for another day has lead to posting 5 times (or something like that) so far this year.

Let's start with a musical note, because this post is designed as a multimedia experience. One of the problems I have been encountering with the posting is with all the blogs out there, why would anyone read mine (asides from friends and family of course)?

But you have driven me people, in the sea of mediocrity I believe I may have come up with an original idea. A YouTube video, designed as a soundtrack to accompany my poor literary skillz.

Let me set it up thusly. I have an xbox 360. I play Halo 3, and lose to what sounds like little girls online. I make that assumption based on the fact that they:

1. Kick my ass handily

2. Have decorated their online Halo characters to look as close to the colour pink as possible

3. Sound like little girls. With xbox online you can talk to your friends and opponents and these young kids have voices that sound like little girls.

4. I also lose to little boys, old boys, old women, teenagers; pretty much anyone who picks up a controller online, the only person I can beat is my friend Pat. But I haven't gone online in almost a week, so there's a chance Pat can beat me now. I doubt it; but then again, he does stay up and play video games to the point where his wife finds him asleep in the living room with the controller in his hand. So he plays hard.

I'll ignore the social ramifications of the statements I have just made, apologize for personifying Pat in such a light, but until he beats me, I'm not going to issue a retract. Also, he probably won't read this.

So, where was I? Yes, the Halo 3 soundtrack. Today, I was listening to it at work while working away at a spreadsheet, and one song came on and it felt like it was inspired by Pink Floyd. Now, I'm not saying that Halo 3 is as good as Pink Floyd; I'm just saying that one song on the soundtrack sounds like them. And for your information, the soundtrack to Halo 3 is #98 in ALL music sales on amazon.com. Considering it's the holiday season, that's no small feat.

Any who, the song I'm thinking of is track #15 on disc one (it's a two disc soundtrack, 9 hours of game play and tons of original music) called "The Ark. Edge Closer". Marty O'Donnell is accredited as the composer, and a big hand to him for what he has done.

So we're quite a ways into this, and I haven't introduced the multimedia experience. I've decided that this is going to be two posts now (actually the NHL decided it because the Leafs – Predators game starts in 10 minutes) and I'll write that post as I watch. It's about hockey, and specifically problems that I see with the NHL that I haven't found anyone else write about (read: did a search on "problem with the NHL", not as many hits as one might think).

Stay tuned....

hubris: noun: : exaggerated pride or self-confidence

the difference between 'y' and 'o'

2007-10-31T16:07:00.000-04:00

.....is what the Raptors are providing this year. The difference between 'o' and 'y' is more than 9 letters.

It is a frame of mind.

Not hype.

Hope.

Godspeed gentlemen.

fade

2007-07-22T22:33:00.000-04:00

In another day, another time
This identity which i take,
Cannot be called mine.

I arose from a clouded slumber,
my peacefulness disturbed
By news I had not heard.

Are my thoughts and actions guided?
Should my selfishness be chided?

It came at once,
At all to fast,
My spirit could not spare,
The hole which had been dug.

One text, one call,
One breath that i didn't stall
She said I wasn't there,
so she couldn't give me a hug.

It is one thing to be a victim of senseless violence,
But how can one explain a sudden youth silenced?

These days my spirit pondered,
God's existence I wondered.
At times I may have thought,
well, maybe?
Now, lately,
I sit in not that lot.

What happens when one ceases to have a thought?
Will internal good and evil then have no longer fought?

Perhaps you will consider this blasphemy,
I instead consider it rich irony.

God's existence or power
are thumb-twiddling questions for the vain,
But a single human soul is
to large for the universe to contain.

Apologies for the crappy rhyming. Pain numbs many things.

holistic hockey hunches

2007-07-10T14:52:00.001-04:00

Maybe I'm a sucker for high draft picks cheap. I have not done any number crunching, so I don't know if there is room, but heck, I'd like to see Patrick Stefan on the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Here's why. He's Czech. So are Jiri Tlusty, Pavel Kubina and Tomas Kaberle. That's about it, the influence of his fellow countrymen. Maybe Stefan could be good too. Could sign him to a one year contract for under a million dollars.

Perhaps it makes no sense. Just throwing it out there as an idea. So JFJ, if you're reading, maybe give Stefan a call, a little 'howyadoin?'

Maybe playing with Mats could be a selling point. One thing that I definitely don't know about is what the players say between themselves. That being said, neither does anyone else who isn't a player (or close to one). So I'm going to go out on a short limb here and say that Mats Sundin is one of the most Respected players in the NHL, and as Toskala mentioned, perhaps one people will sign with the Leafs to play with. He is the Leader (nananananananana leader, leader, Batman) and should have haiku's written in his honour. That will be my task for the week, haiku's for Mats. Like these:

Oh fearless leader,
Thou art a moose on the ice,
With antlers hidden.

Big Swede with sweet stride,
Slapshot and defence like Thor,
But without the beard

-----

Second point of the day comes to this highlight of Nikolai Kulemin that my friend Kenny sent me. He's a 2nd round pick (44th overall) from the 2006 draft and was signed to a 3 year deal with the Leafs which (I assume) takes affect after this 2007-2008 season where he is signed with the Metallurg Magnitogorsk hockey club in the Russian Super League.

Here's a highlight reel of some of his skills. Big Props to MuscleBob for putting it together.

the tarp is falling

2007-07-09T10:53:00.000-04:00

Chicken little, I mean the Colorado Rockies, were safely tucked away in their clubhouse as their opponents and the umpires took to the field to help the Rockies own personal. What does this have to do with anything? Well I'm glad I traded Todd Helton in my fantasy pool, and I'm glad I held on to (as Ryan calls him) Shane Victoriorio.

when your opponent is history

2007-07-09T10:08:00.000-04:00

I don't mean that figuratively. When one is playing well, beyond well, and the only players one matches up against are those from that sport's great past; one plays against history more than the man across the court.

Roger Federer knows Rafael Nadal is catching up. It showed yesterday during the Wimbledon final. In the 4th set Federer began to lose his cool, in a way not seen since his younger days. But Nadal took some injury time during that 4th set. And Federer sat there, used that time to gather his composure and focus. Federer was down 4-0 in that set but had a 2-1 set advantage. Unless Nadal couldn't stand up, the match was going to 5 sets.

In the 5th set, Federer seemed to be distracted, trailing 15-40 tied at one game apiece. But he channeled his wandering mind and returned to take the game to deuce and win with four straight points.

Again at 2-2 in the 5th set, again trailing 15-40, he came back to take it to deuce and win the game with another 4 straight points.

That seemed to be it for Nadal. He had Federer ready to be broken at 15-40 twice in that 5th set. Now down 3-2 in the 5th and having held serve for 22 straight games, the weight of playing against a giant was too much for even him to hold.

Federer finally broke Nadal's service. At the end of a return point where Federer hit approximately one hundred lines during his volley with Nadal, the final sideline shot was a return unreachable for Nadal and Federer let out a stream of joy. A sight of emotion usually reserved for those who are human, for those who have been pushed to their limit and have come out on top. It was a sight unseen on the grass courts of Wimbledon for the past 5 years. Roger had owned Wimbledon like a man playing against children. There was no joy in that.

But yesterday Federer, for the first time in a long time, was being pushed. His physical opponent across the net was a 21 year old phenom made from clay. His mental opponents were sitting in the stands watching him. His spiritual opponents were controlling the infallible technology from above and beyond.

At the end, when he was finally victorious, Federer let go. Crumbling to the ground having vanquished his opponents, he covered his face with his hands. Perhaps, at some point, he thought that his opponents would be too much for him.

It was understood that Nadal had the French but Wimbledon was Roger's. That was Roger's home. That was where Roger beat the immortal Sampras and broke Sampras' chance for 5 straight titles away. Perhaps he thought that Nadal has caught up to him as he had to Sampras, and that his chances at pure domination maybe fewer and far between. Who knows what thoughts pass through the minds of those standing on the precipice of history?

As the floodgates of emotion overwhelmed the stoic champion, he returned to his chair and took his time to put on his proper whites. Vest, jacket, trousers.

Nadal sat at his own chair, head down, sweat dripped hair hanging. You could see the thoughts forming in a bubble over his head, "this is what it feels like to lose when you've done enough to win. Remember this feeling Rafa, this is what you will use whenever you feel that you're good enough to win."

We, the audience, sometimes wonder what it would be like for two greats of the past to square off. Soon it may be understood that Roger Federer's greatness not only lay in the amount of majors that he won, but that he had to go through Rafael Nadal to do so.

When it's all said and done, yesterday will be the day that two greats from future's past squared off.

"In my opinion," Nadal said, "[Federer's] tennis level is the best in history."

That's 11 majors for Roger now, Tiger.

nobody likes betting against the home team

2007-07-07T00:54:00.000-04:00

As I drift off between drowsiness and waking life, I realize that I must reiterate the mantra.

We have a wonderful collection of minds.

Many intelligent people spend lots of mind energy (read: thoughts) on sports.
In my youth I watched Don Cherry often. As the years went on, and Saturday nights were for more than just hockey, and hockey was on more than just Saturday nights, I watched less and less.

Then he started, at the end of Coach's Corner, to hold a picture. Pictures of people, in the line of duty, who have been killed.

It started off as a once in a while thing. He'd hold a picture, camera would zoom in, he'd say something poignant, Ron Maclean would sign off (or not) without a witty line.

It just came to me, this evening, a month (or so) after the hockey season has ended and the last Coach's Corner has aired, that for many weeks this season, the segment did not end with a witty line from Ron.

And Don wasn't holding up one picture.

There would be a few of them, and since the CBC was used to graphically portraying them on their news segments, those same screen shots, of multiple people, Canadian Military, would be shown.

There is a war going on. It is nothing less than a war. It may not be the war we're used to, but then again, we aren't used to any war at all.

Tonight I found myself glad that the Jays won. In fact, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the Jays, as many people may have.

But, if I was constantly reminded that we were at war, would I care? Wouldn't I want the war to end so I could enjoy the Jays or whomever at peace?

But I'm firing in the dark here. I've always been firing in the dark. I'm sure there are motions, movements, protests afoot. I'm not connected to them. Seek, and ye shall... but I'm buried in work/school/books/sports.

Kurt Vonnegut fought in a big war. He realized that there are a few things that will continue to happen that cannot be stopped. Those things include Ice Ages and wars.

Maybe I'm using the wrong forums to extract public opinion. Maybe I should use the internet better. But it gets hard. There's a lot of hate out there. A lot of ignorant, misguided, quick-to-judge bullying. And it's the sort of thing that can wake one up when one is about to fall asleep, and derail one's soft journey into dreams.

If I dream tonight, it probably won't be pleasant.

Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors. -Hunter S. Thompson

good riddance

2007-06-07T12:02:00.000-04:00

"Makes me laugh that Daniel Alfredsson took a lot of heat and was even called "classless" by American TV broadcasters for shooting the puck at Scott Niedermayer with time running out in the second period of Game 4. The only thing he did wrong was fire it too low. In the Stanley Cup final, you should be doing everything you can to win. With two seconds left on the clock and standing at your blue line, you're not going to score. Attempting to take out the opponent's best defenceman is the next best thing. Believe it's called competitiveness."

By this logic, there should be lots of journalists lining up to take a hammer at your hands, eh Don Brennar? The only thing they would do wrong is not use a butchers knife.

Rebirth of radio

2007-05-09T17:58:00.000-04:00

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Not net radio, but podcasting. As the cell phones leans more and more towards becoming the ubiquitous device for the person on the go and memory chips get smaller and smaller, the radio will be reborn in the form of podcasts.

People like to hear people talk. Personally, there are a few podcasts that I listen to almost daily. They allow me to not read the newspapers as much, and give me the information I require in a short 15-20 minute segment during my travel to and from work. I download the podcast onto my smartphone, plug it in and go. Here's what I listen to (almost exclusively ESPN, because I haven't had the time to search out others).

-Baseball Today - ESPN: Above and beyond the best podcast series I've ever heard (I think I've heard 5). Alan Schwarz does a fantastic job of recapping the previous nights events, has great knowledgeable guests, and talks about baseball. Been listening to these guys since they started last year, and have tremendously enjoyed the whole time. Sure some of the sound bites are gimmicky, but whatever. Great job.

-Daily Dish - ESPN: Chad Ford does a bang up job of talking hoops. Hard to get into NBA for me because Raptors are out, but that is not their fault.

-Fantasy Focus -ESPN: After Baseball today, listening to this makes my ears hurt. They've got intrusive songs with this high pitched beep that goes off every few seconds and the commentators speak in forceful AM radio tones (e.g. "do not pick up Mark Hendrickson on the Dodgers. I will jump out of your computer and stop you from picking up Mark Hendrickson" who ended up pitching 6 shutout innings of 3 hit ball with 7 strikeouts that evening). I guess if you don't follow baseball it might make sense to have these guys advise some moves, but all in all, asides from the injury specific news on players, there isn't much they add. They could cut the podcast down to 5 minutes and simply discuss injuries, transactions, and implications. I don't need to know to hold on to Pujols because he's probably going to hit 15 homeruns in June (my prediction, not theirs).

-Sports Guy - ESPN: Well, he's had one episode so far. Lets hope it turns out better than that cartoon based on him ESPN was putting on for a while.

-Off Wing Opinion: Eric McErlain and Joe Tasca did some podcasts that I listened to last year. Good stuff there about the NHL and mostly the Washington Capitals.

Well, that's all for now, a short summary for sure. Here are some posts about Net radio, which, from what I understand, is different from podcasting.

The Death and Rebirth of Web Radio

The Death of Internet Radio

he'll make Gretzky's head bleed

2007-04-14T22:58:00.000-04:00

Jeremy Roenick is on TSN's NHL playoff panel this year. A few nights ago they were all talking about the overtime situation in the playoffs. If they change the playoff overtime format, I'm going to start simulating the NHL with my old SNES and NHL 94. The way men played.
So, in NHL 94, JR used to be a kick ass player. Not so much now, but apparently he's willing to play for the Leafs next season, and not for much. Will Jeremy Roenick sign with the Leafs? Probably not, but this is still funny.

And I was at that game where Roenick scored over Belfour. I sat at the other end of the rink. I got my ticket off of ebay from a guy in Philadelphia. Things got pretty sour in the arena after that shot went in, guys were picking fights with girls, Flyer fans were cheering, just a bad scene.

and the heavens danced

2007-04-12T10:26:00.000-04:00

Knowing that the universe is a large place and Earth is a speck, the astral heavens flowed as silk linens through a breeze. In other words, they moved to the music, and their music was the wind.

I can't remember which one of my university friends mentioned it to me first, Adam or Dayton. But I was given Galapagos, and my life would forever be the better for it. As the years went on, I digested his words, his beautiful regurgitation of anger into humour. When I read the news today "Author Kurt Vonnegut dead at 84", oh boy. I thought "wow, he's gone, this sucks." I then went through some of his quotes, smiling through each and every one. Wikiquote is what i used, and i feel it is a good resource.

As I write this I am finding hard to keep my composure. It's cold, grey and damp outside. So it goes.

Of all the beautiful things he has written or said, I have chosen the following. The first I use myself now when people ask me of my religious affiliation. The rest just make me smile.

"I am a humanist. Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead."

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."

"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved."

"The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just that way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever."

"I am, incidentally, Honorary President of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that totally functionless capacity. We had a memorial service for Isaac a few years back, and I spoke and said at one point, "Isaac is up in heaven now." It was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of humanists. I rolled them in the aisles. It was several minutes before order could be restored. And if I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, "Kurt is up in heaven now." That's my favorite joke."

Thank you Kurt Vonnegut Jr. You're up in heaven now.

Kurt Vonnegut 11/11/22-04/11/07

uh oh, I hear a banjo

2007-02-13T13:07:00.000-05:00

and hockey players? Tomfoolery ensues. This is a great NHL commercial and makes me smile that the guys at MyNHL finally woke up and started piecing together some good stuff (if this even done by those guys).

Ovechkin is to Crosby as Newman is to Seinfeld?

i'm dwight howard

2007-02-10T13:13:00.000-05:00

"and you really have to put a body on me. I shot 13 for 14 from the field against Toronto this week, and last night this old guy, Tim Hortons (Duncan, Dunkin Donuts, donuts, coffee and donuts... from Tim Hortons) or something tries to stop me. And, yeah, he's got the right idea, you really do have to put a body on me, but good luck finding on. 'Cause this Hall of Famer?

Not enough.

Who's next?"

i'm alexander steen

2007-02-08T16:04:00.000-05:00

“Hi, I’m Alexander Steen. I just scored a goal by faking the goalie by not looking at him. I kick ass. You may not know me yet, but my hockey intelligence is superior than most. I’m gonna go let my totally hot girlfriend cut and colour my hair any way she wants because she’s hot. And I’m good at hockey. You can watch me kick ass tonight against the Nashville Predators tonight. They play at the Gaylord Entertainment Center and there’s a movie coming out about them called Lords of Gay. That is all.
Ps. I think I saw a hidden camera in the visitors shower locker there.”

NHL 3 point System

2007-02-07T14:32:00.000-05:00

In the past, I’ve complained about the unequal point distribution between NHL games which has come into play with the new OT and shootout point being awarded to the loser. Instead of rehashing that point, I’m going to display a quick little study on a new format that I suggested, that being three points being allocated to winners of NHL games in regulation (and 2 points to winners in overtime or a shootout and 1 point to the loser of the overtime or shootout game). As of today, here are the standings with the current NHL point system.

EAST	GR	PTS
1. Buffalo *	27	76
2. New Jersey *	28	72
3. Atlanta *	26	67
4. Montreal	27	64
5. Pittsburgh	29	63
6. Ottawa	28	63
7. Tampa Bay	27	62
8. Carolina	26	61
9. Toronto	28	60
10. NY Islanders	29	57
11. NY Rangers	28	55
12. Boston	30	52
13. Washington	27	52
14. Florida	27	51
15. Philadelphia	30	33

WEST	GR	PTS
1. Nashville *	27	77
2. Anaheim *	28	74
3. Calgary *	29	65
4. Detroit	28	74
5. San Jose	28	69
6. Dallas	28	66
7. Vancouver	28	64
8. Minnesota	27	62
9. Colorado	29	56
10. Edmonton	28	56
11. Phoenix	28	52
12. St. Louis	28	50
13. Chicago	29	47
14. Columbus	28	47
15. Los Angeles	26	44

In the East there is a huge logjam in positions 4 through 9 and the New York teams have to leapfrog a couple of others to gain a playoff spot.

With the NHL system as it is, in the West, Colorado and Edmonton have a huge 6 point deficit to make up on Minnesota and Phoenix is starting to make summer plans.

Basically, the East is jockeying for position with a slight race. To correctly display how difficult it is to make up points in this system, I have followed Toronto, who has won 5 straight. Before their streak began, Toronto sat 2 points out of the playoffs (they were tied with the Rangers for 9th, but the Rangers had a game in hand). They won 5 straight games and now still sit in 9th, trailing by a point. Five straight wins and only 1 point made up in the standings.

Going further back, in their past 10 games the Leafs are 8-2-0-0. Ten games ago (standings as of January 9th), the Leafs were sitting tied with Tampa Bay for 9th in the Conference, one point out of a playoff spot. Leafs win 8 out of their next 10 games and are still sitting in 9th, one point out of a playoff spot (they do have games in hand on the teams in front of them, but I think the point is that it’s hard to make up ground these days, especially when the teams you're trailing also keep winning or getting overtime losses points, I'm looking at you Penguins)

So I compiled a new system, with 3 points being given to a team that wins games in regulation time (with the current NHL overtime and shootout point systems in place) in order to balance the weight of games. With this came a new stat, Point Percentage. This stat is similar to winning percentage in other sports, as it shows how many of the total available points a team has obtained (available points = games played * 3 points). Needless to say this stat can only be created with all games being worth the same amount.

Here’s how it works; if the Leafs win 3 out of 6 games (2 regulation wins, 1 win coming in overtime and losing 3 in regulation) their point percentage under the 3 point system would be as follows.

(2 Regulation wins * 3 points) + (1 overtime win*2 points) = 8 points

Total points (6 games*3points) =18.

Point % =8/18 = 0.444

Now say the Senators win 2 out of 6 games but win both of their games in a shootout and lose 3 of their games in overtime (and lose their last game in regulation time) it would work like this;

(2 wins *2 points)+ (3 OT loss*1 point) = 7 points

Point %= 7/18 = 0.389

Toronto would have won more games, have more points and a better point percentage than Ottawa. Here lies, what I feel, is the flaw in the current NHL system.

In the current NHL system with (both teams performing the same as stated above), the Leafs would have obtained 6 points in those 6 games (3 wins) and the Senators would have obtained 7 points (2 wins and 3 overtime losses).

What is the goal, to win a game or to lose as late as possible? Under the current system, losing as late as possible is the way to go.

Here are the current NHL standings with the 3 point system in place.

EAST	GR	PTS	POINT %
1. Buffalo *	27	100	0.606
2. New Jersey *	28	96	0.593
3. Atlanta *	26	86	0.512
4. Ottawa	28	90	0.556
5. Montreal	27	87	0.527
6. Carolina	26	85	0.506
7. Pittsburgh	29	84	0.528
8. Toronto	28	83	0.512
9. Tampa Bay	27	82	0.497
10. NY Islanders	29	77	0.484
11. NY Rangers	28	73	0.451
12. Florida	27	71	0.430
13. Washington	27	70	0.424
14. Boston	30	66	0.423
15. Philadelphia	30	45	0.288

WEST	GR	PTS	POINT %
1. Nashville *	27	108	0.655
2. Anaheim *	28	103	0.636
3. Calgary *	29	93	0.585
4. Detroit	28	105	0.648
5. San Jose	28	102	0.630
6. Dallas	28	90	0.556
7. Vancouver	28	84	0.519
8. Edmonton	28	80	0.494
9. Colorado	29	77	0.484
10. Minnesota	27	77	0.467
11. Phoenix	28	71	0.438
12. St. Louis	28	65	0.401
13. Columbus	28	64	0.395
14. Chicago	29	62	0.390
15. Los Angeles	26	59	0.351

The biggest leaps from the current system to the new one come from Carolina and Edmonton. Colorado (with a game in hand) could conceivably tie Edmonton for 8th if they won their next game in regulation.

I hope this goes to show how flawed I feel that the current system is by rewarding overtime and shootout performance more than wins.

i can do that

2007-01-19T15:20:00.000-05:00

Last night, flipped to the Miami Heat - Indiana Pacers basketball game and caught this circus shot by Dwayne Wade. Left handed, over-the-shoulder, not looking at the basket, and one.

UPDATE: Youtube, greatest invention since you and tube.

tuesdays are my party night

2007-01-18T14:10:00.000-05:00

Winter finally hits in Toronto. I'm sitting around at night, one cold dreary desolate night, flipping channels in front of my television. See that Texas is playing Oklahoma State in mens NCAA basketball. Now, I don't watch all NCAA games, but I have created a checklist, and if the game falls into one of the categories on that list, I might watch it. Here is that list of what needs to be happening for me to watch an NCAA game:

1. Leafs aren't playing
2. Raptors aren't playing
3. There isn't a good NFL game on
4. There are two top 25 ranked teams playing each other.
5. There is one top 25 ranked team, and it's the second half of the game, and that ranked team is losing to an unranked team.
6. Greg Oden is playing.
*New* 7. Kevin Durant is playing.

Number seven on that list was created on Tuesday night. As I mentioned, #14 ranked Oklahoma State was at home playing #23 ranked Texas in a Big Twelve Conference match up. Texas is a young team, they were ranked #1 at about this time last year, but this year have 9 freshmen or sophomores on their 12 man roster having lost all of their starters from last year. Their starting 5 consist of 4 freshmen and 1 sophomore.

Anyways, it was the match of the year so far in basketball, going to triple overtime and ending with a Oklahoma victory on a Mario Boggan wild three pointer with a few seconds left. They play again on February twelfth.

Twelfth is a weird word. Such strong consonants all in a row. LFTH. Just weird.

So this Kevin Durant guy is a skinny freshman on Texas who can shoot from anywhere it seems. He's listed as 6 foot 9 weighing 225, but it looks like he needs to weigh around 250 to fill out his body. He's going to be good.

countenance noun 1 obsolete : BEARING, DEMEANOR
2 a : calm expression b : mental composure c : LOOK, EXPRESSION
3 archaic a : ASPECT, SEMBLANCE b : PRETENSE
4 : FACE, VISAGE; especially : the face as an indication of mood, emotion, or character
5 : bearing or expression that offers approval or sanction : moral support

zoom zoom zoom

2006-12-28T13:17:00.000-05:00

Went to the Raptors game against the Timberwolves last night, took some pictures with my new camera. Great game, good crowd, pizza was decent, Raptors won without Bosh, Mark Blount can shoot from 5 feet away at the most.

Just to give some perspective of how much zoom my camera has, here's a pic that I took without a zoom from my seat.

Here's a pic of the T-Wolves with standard 3x zooming.

And finally, here's a pic of the new kid (and boy did he get a loud ovation when he came in off the bench) Bargnani.

I'm seriously fighting off the urge to post pics of any and everything. Here's my desk, and there's my phone, and there's a door, and look at that staple, look how far I can zoom in on that thumbtack. I feel like that kid in American Beauty, which I just get now. It's not that he found beauty in meaningless things like a plastic bag in the wind, it's that he was in love with his camera and would take pictures or video of anything. I bet you a few months later he was totally in love with his ipod or psp or something. We have such short attention spans these days. What was I talking about again? Oh yes, words.

anhedonia noun : a psychological condition characterized by inability to experience pleasure in normally pleasurable acts
an·he·don·ic adjective

shotgun bang, what's up with that thang

2006-11-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

I have a little thing I do, run weekly football picks pool with a few friends. This week, in making my report, I stumbled on to something which I think might make sense. It's about the Tennessee Titans and New York Giants. Vince Young and Jeff Fisher. Shotgun formation.

What contributed to the Titans incredible comeback, down 21 points in the 4th quarter? Here is what I wrote.

Sandy won, and he could give credit to Mathias Kiwanuka, the rookie defensive end from Boston College (1st round 32 overall) on the New York football Giants, who (for some reason I'm pretty sure even he doesn't understand) let up half way through a sack on Vince Young. This was on a 4th and 10 play in the 4th quarter with the Titans on their own 24 yard line, down by a touchdown and just over 2 minutes to play. Basically a play which could have ended the game but instead Young ended up gaining 19 yards on it and ended up leading the Titans on a game-tying touchdown drive. Some of you (especially Pat) might know of this play, but what might be lost is that on the play before, on 3rd down, Kiwanuka dropped into coverage and made a great stop by knocking down a pass setting up the 4th and long.

Watching that drive, and looking up some facts (you didn't actually think I knew what Kiwanuka's draft history was off the top of my head did you?) it got me thinking. What changed, what happened to allow the Titans to mount such a comeback in the 4th quarter? The answer, might be in the offensive formations used by the Titans. Here is something I guarantee you won't find anywhere else (at least not presented to you on a platter like this, maybe someone else is on to it, but they're probably in Tennessee).

Last year on the Longhorns, Vince Young, in the championship game against USC, he engineered a game winning touchdown drive with plays that were mainly from the shotgun formation. Those (and traditionally all) shotgun formation plays allowed Young to be more mobile. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if he primarily worked out of the shotgun formation in his college career. One way for me to verify this is to examine the Longhorns playbook in NCAA football, but I don't know if I need to because some facts here speak for themselves. Below is a table of the Titans yards gained by formation in their game agains the Giants. The first column is with Young under centre, the second is with him out of shotgun. It is further broken down by half, because there is a big difference in what happened in the two halves of that game.

1st Half	Under Centre	Shotgun
Plays	17	8
Yards	68	54
Avg.	4	6.75
2nd Half
plays	7	27
Yards	24	185
Avg.	3.43	6.85
Total
plays	24	35
Yards	92	239
Avg.	3.83	6.83

Included in that table is the drive in the 4th quarter which led to the first Titans touchdown, a drive that consisted solely of plays out of the shotgun formation.

Yeah, so lots of things came into play for that remarkable comeback, but consistent difference in average yards gained between the formations is striking.

I'm thinking that we might see Jeff Fisher employ the shotgun formation more frequently in Titan games in the future.

Putative: adj 1 : commonly accepted or supposed
2 : assumed to exist or to have existed

a note on the san antonio spurs

2006-11-16T10:07:00.000-05:00

They are the best team in the NBA. Barring injury, they will win the NBA western conference and possibly the NBA title, if not for the Toronto Raptors (blind faith baby, blind faith). The only team that can beat the Spurs is....... the Spurs.

Seriously, they're that good.

Anyone who thinks Houston is better, did not see the (capital I) Incredible comeback that the Spurs made in Houston to beat them. That was a healthy Rockets team which showed its weakness (depth) as opposed to San Antonio's strength (depth). Unless that weakness is addressed a.s.a.p., this current Rockets team can not beat the Spurs in a seven game series, even with (boo) Tracy McGrady (boo) firing on all cylinders. The Spurs were down by 19 at one point in the third quarter of that game and out scored the Rockets 21-9 in the 4th quarter to win by 8. Yes it was one game but I'm willing to make my stand based on one game. Am I jumping to conclusions? Fo' shoggy my doggy, but I ain't gonna stand down on it.

Of course, it's only November, and there will be trades and injuries and etc. And yes, I know that there are other teams in the West, and yes, I know that the Spurs lost at home to the Bobcats last night, but they shot 3-12 in overtime compared to Charlotte's 5-7 and ended up loosing by 3. The fact the game went to overtime was a statement, because the Spurs were down by 8 with just over 2 minutes to play. This team just does not die.

ameliorate v Etymology: alteration of meliorate
transitive verb : to make better or more tolerable
intransitive verb : to grow better

a point on points

2006-11-15T20:09:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer - I know this is not an original argument, but I had to vent. It’s only November, but this argument will be raised as the NHL season goes on (especially close to the end) and I just want to be a part of the collective voice supporting it.

I’ve been trying to get my head around this, and for the life of me, I can’t figure the logic behind why some games in the NHL are ending with 3 points being allocated to the participants, and some others are ending only having 2 points allocated to one team? Is it because some games are worth more than others? If so, why don’t they tell the viewers before hand, so I can plan to watch the more valuable 3 point games?

In the NHL, regular season standings are determined by how many points a team has gained throughout the season. Points are allocated thusly:

2 points for a win
1 point for a loss in overtime or in shootout.
0 points for a loss in regulation.

Based on those standings the top 8 teams from each conference (all teams being divided into two conferences) make the playoffs and chase the Stanley Cup. So even though the regular season is quite long, it does have some importance to it. My beloved Maple Leafs, missed out on the playoffs last year, despite gaining 90 points in 82 games.

The answer to my own questions lies in the fact that the NHL wanted to stop having games being ended in a tie, and therefore started to allocate a ‘bonus point’ to a winning side in overtime or shootout, and at the same time, didn’t want to penalize a team for loosing in overtime or a shootout and so it let them gain one point. But this has created a situation where teams (especially those playing games against teams outside their conference) perhaps are playing with the goal to get to overtime and the safe point; making the objective of the participating squads to tie, not to win. Once you lower the standards of competition to a tie, the level of play deteriorates. You have teams sitting back and waiting for other teams to make mistakes. Offensive chances go down at the ending of games with teams sitting back waiting for mistakes. I don’t need stats to tell me that the last 10 minutes of regulation time in games that are tied see a noticeable decline in offensive chances being taken by either squad.

Quite frankly, that’s fine by me. Strategy is strategy. You can’t plan excitement. What you can plan is an even schedule slowly building to a crescendo as playoffs arise. Late in the season, games take on a little extra intensity as teams in the playoff hunt are playing for a shot to go for the cup.

But if you make wins in regulation time worth 2 points, and still give some teams one point in overtime loses, you create an unequal playing field. It becomes incredibly hard for any playoff races to actually develop. If you’re crediting a losing squad in overtime or shootout, you’re devaluating the winning squad, but by giving the winning squads the same amount of points (in overtime, shootout or regulation) you’re also devaluating the team that wins in regulation. How can some games be worth more than others?

Why doesn’t the NHL see this inconsistency? A simple solution would be to allocate 3 points to a team winning in regulation, therefore equalizing the point distribution. The concept of a ‘bonus point’ has gotten out of hand.

Mercurial n 1 : of, relating to, or born under the planet Mercury
2 : having qualities of eloquence, ingenuity, or thievishness attributed to the god Mercury or to the influence of the planet Mercury
3 : characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood [a mercurial temper]
4 : of, relating to, containing, or caused by mercury
synonym see INCONSTANT

to get to the other side

2006-11-11T12:55:00.000-05:00

Is it a joke, or a incredibly philosophical debate? Why did the chicken cross the road? It was at a cross road in life, and it had to make a decision. Only to someone who is incredibly afraid, say a chicken, would crossing the road be considered a big decision. And yet, we all have our roads to cross, be we chickens, hamsters, raccoons, or humans. But we are what we are, and we will cross our roads each, individually (asides from those of us helping old ladies cross), in order to get to the other side. Just like it was a big decision for the chicken, and i admire him for making it, it is a big decision for each of us as we approach the road that we have to cross.

But you, apperantly, have had your arrival coincide with an awakening of the senses, or something to that ilk. You are either amazed by the enormity of the road ahead, or decidedly happy that it seems nothing more than a short juant. Perhaps you are blinded by the commotion on said road and are wondering where in the heck there is an opening for you to cross. You look up, there's no traffic signals to help forge an opening for you. To your front you see people and things moving so quickly and you wonder how you can enter such a fray without damaging yourself by being hit. Hard now doubly so because of your vision imperment due to the commotion.

To your left and right are other people who have yet to cross the road. Everyone has something different on the other side, but like you, they cannot see it through the fray of traffic. Some are just arriving, some have been here for a while. One gentleman in particular you notice, he seems to have a crowd around him, and he is speaking loudly, mostly to be heard over the noise from the road traffic. "Oh yeah, I'm going today." He shouts. "No need to worry about the traffic, I've scouted it out and I'm making my move today." He's been saying that for days, but others like you, who have just arrived, believe him upon hearing him this first time.

Others you see walk up to the road and upon rationalizing turn and walk back, deciding to cross the road at another time. And yet others, walk up and don't even pause before they decide to cross and enter the traffic.

The final group of people are those who are exiting the street onto your side. You walk up to one and ask them how it was. "No big deal," they reply. "Just a matter of getting your feet moving." And they walk away. Knowing that there will be another road for them to cross, but crossing the first is the hardest, or so it would seem.

And so you look down at your feet. Move your glance up to the road. Look down once again at your feet, and get them going.

happy trails.

damaged goods

2006-11-07T16:46:00.000-05:00

So I'm flipping channels late last night and I catch The Score, to find out some hockey scores. For some reason Centre Ice and NBA pass weren't working last night, so I didn't get to see most of the games. Anyways, The Score had WWE Raw on, and they were doing something, I don't know, I was reading their ticker at the bottom of the screen. Then I hear Jim Ross or Jerry the King Lawler start yelling about somebody coming down the ramp to interfere with a match, I think one of them said "What's K-Fed doing here?" My ears perked up, I looked at the screen and low and behold, Kevin Federline was attacking John Cena. "Weird", I thought.

And then just now I read this. Coincidence?

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A court spokeswoman says Britney Spears has filed for divorce from rapper-dancer Kevin Federline, citing irreconcilable differences.

eponym n 1 : one for whom or which something is or is believed to be named
2 : a name (as of a drug or a disease) based on or derived from an eponym

how do i get started?

2006-11-03T17:06:00.000-05:00

…said the brochure. Was it speaking as me or was it speaking to me?

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. I mean, go up to a guy who’s standing on a soapbox and ask him “what would you do if you had nothing to say?”

Maybe he’d answer, “I’d talk about how I have nothing to say.”

This is pretty much what I’m doing right about now.

Just finished reading the curious incident of the dog in the night time by Mark Haddon, again.

Didn’t remember most of it, probably because it was an easy read and then after a while I thought maybe it was because I had a train of thought similar to what Haddon was describing at times and then I realized that I don’t remember most of my thoughts and I thought perhaps that my thoughts thought that what Haddon wrote were my thoughts and that’s why I forgot most of what happened in the book.

I really do what to read more, and I really want to say that less.

Here’s something I haven’t done in a while. Get back to basics.

Pith (noun) 1 a : a usually continuous central strand of spongy tissue in the stems of most vascular plants that probably functions chiefly in storage b : any of various loose spongy plant tissues that resemble true pith c : the soft or spongy interior of a part of the body
2 a : the essential part : core b : substantial quality (as of meaning)
3 : importance

you get vaseline

2006-10-24T18:54:00.000-04:00

i'm pretty sure this is a parody of oprah.

but i gotta admit tyra banks does do a good interpretation of crazy, perhaps a little too well.

look at me, i'm so great

2006-10-18T15:06:00.000-04:00

Leafs are doing well. Who could have seen this coming?

Me.

A wise man once asked (September 11, 2006), where are the Leafs goals going to come from this year? Yours truly posted a comment saying that I have an idea (scroll to the bottom for my comment). You know, just a hunch.

Fast forward a month and a half later. What team leads the NHL in shots? The Toronto Maple Leafs. Tonight they play the Colorado Avalanche, who rank 4th in Shots per game. Git ready boyz, it's gonna be a shootout at the AC corral.

running with remote controls

2006-10-06T18:41:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

Last night, as I got home from work, I decided to keep a running log of events that passed as I was watching the Leafs-Sens game. Yes, I know this is straight stealing of an idea from Bill Simmons, and yes, I realize that using the internet to talk about television is slightly, well, lets just say that the internet has better uses.

Anyways, I had my pad thai, Leafs were up 2-0 after one, the digital clock had just struck 8 and I started.

8:00 First thing was to notice the new addition to the Centre Ice package this year, HD sports channels. To wit, not only was the Leafs – Sens game on CBC HD, I had game two of the NLDS between L.A. and New York on HD, and as a bonus surprise I got Philadelphia at Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is up 2-0.

8:09 I’m really excited for the Leafs this year. Thoughts on last night’s game (that the Leafs lost 4-1) were;
-Leafs skated well
-Bates Battaglia was a great surprise. My friend Blake reminded me last night that this was the same Battaglia that was pretty darn good in the Toronto-Carolina playoff match up of a few years ago.
-There are a lot of AHL guys from last year on the Leafs roster this year, and it’s going to take a while for the team to gel. But there’s a big, if not huge, difference (and I think it’s a good one) between this year and last that results from this fact. These guys (former Marlies) are hungry. The old guard of players had their best years behind them, and on some nights, seem to be resting on their laurels. Not these guys. And quite frankly, I think with the new rules, it’s easier for AHL forwards to adapt to the NHL than it is for the defencemen. I think this is why Ferguson went after defencemen in the free agent market this past off-season and only signed Peca for the forwards.
-Martin Gerber saved Ottawa. I still contend had the Leafs scored on their first shift last night, they would have walked away with a win. Once Gerber got into his groove, it was a large uphill battle for the Leafs.

8:11 Just flipped to Washington at the New York Rangers. Kolzig looks solid on one save. Flipped to Chicago at Nashville, and J.P. Dumont has scored for Nashville just 41 seconds into the game.

8:13 2nd period about to start in Ottawa. Another point about last nights game, I am not a fan of the people (note: not fans) who attend Toronto Maple Leaf games. Not only do they miss most of the beginnings of the second and third periods, but last night, with just under five minutes to go and only down by two goals, Gord Miller (the TSN announcer) was commenting that fans were starting to leave. Geez guys, it’s the first game of the season, you think you could show some support to your team and stick around? I’m a huge believer in positive energy and all that karma sutra stuff and home ice/field advantages and here in Toronto the Leafs basically don’t have it. Of course this is offset by the huge amount of Leaf fans throughout the world making lots and lots of noise when the Leafs go on the road. So I guess it balances out.

8:15 Review of the two Leaf goals so far. Kilger seems to always be rushing down the left wing and unleashing a slapshot. If he can harness that, we could see a fantastic goal production out of him. Kilger is one of the guys who might step up, and will have to, if the Leafs are to have a good season.

8:16 Flipped to Baseball. The L.A. starter apparently has one career win. Glavine has what, twenty something career playoff wins? Hmm… one career win is not exactly the kind of guy you want starting game 2 of your playoffs. I thought Maddux was starting for L.A. tonight? Back to Hockey and Belak and McGratton are fighting, or should I say throwing jersey jabs. Thats where you grab the opponent by the neck of their jersey, lean away, and jab. It’s highly affective if you have a reach advantage (which Belak has on McGratton) but it also tires you out. Not a single real punch connects. Don’t worry fellas; you got two more meetings in the next three weeks to get it on.

8:19 When Jeff O’Neill gets into shape, I’d like to see him with Sundin and Wellwood. This in no way is because I have him in my pool. Well, maybe a little way. Ok, ok, a big way. O’Neill would play well with Sundin. I’m just saying.

8:22 3-0 Toronto. Yep, definitely pumped.

8:25 FSN Pittsburgh is commenting on the Pittsburgh fans. Yes they are making noise, and yes it does seem like there are quite a few of them. But it is game #1. Think they’re concerned about a Canadian buying the team? I would be if I were them

8:28 Not a fan of the way Chris Neil shoves our players into our goalies. Good thing he got a penalty for this, after last year I’d think the NHL would do its utmost to protect the goalies.

8:29 Nashville-Chicago tied at two goals apiece ten minutes into the game? Wow, that’s some offense.

8:30 Tucker scores, 4-0 Toronto! This is great; I hope we kick their ass. I HATE OTTAWA. This goal is the epitome of how simple of a game it can be. Skate, shoot on net go to net. Good things happen. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but sometime during those past few years I spent in Ottawa, a venomous seed of hate for the Sens was planted. Maybe it has something to do with Ottawa fans having perhaps the biggest inferiority complex in the world. To wit; in Ottawa, if the Leafs and Sens are playing at the same time, if you go to a bar (as I did on many occasions) the Sens fans cheer louder for the team that scores against the Leafs then they do for their own team scoring a goal.

8:33 3-2 for Chicago over Nashville?! What is going on? Mental note, bet the over the next time these two teams play.

8:37 This Leaf team is going to earn it this year. And they look like they have the hunger to own it. I’m gushing with anticipation.

8:41 Got a phone call. Diary shall be cut short; I am going out to watch the third period.

8:47 Wow! What a Goal by Alexei Ponikarovsky. I actually jumped out of my chair for that one. 5-0 Leafs.

10:43 8-6 Chicago over Nashville. Wow.

NFL PICKS

Last week 6-7. Overall 27-31.

My picks for this week (5).

Tennessee +18.5
At NY Giants -4.5
At Minnesota -6.5
At New Orleans -6.5
At Green Bay +3
Miami +10
Buffalo +10
At Carolina -8.5
At Jacksonville -7
At Arizona +3.5
At San Francisco -3
At Philadelphia -1.5
At San Diego -3.5
At Denver -4 Final score: 20-14

everybody wang chung tonite

2006-09-29T18:27:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

As I watch the Cardinals possibly choke away an 8 ½ game lead with 12 games to play, I wonder if this choke (if it happens) is worse than the Yankees choke against Boston in the 2004 LCS?

You know what’s really cool? Event Horizons. That’s the surface on the edge of a black hole.

I’ve spent a lot of time playing NCAA football 2007 this past week, I think I’m going to read two books this weekend, and see that Pirates movie. Well, one and a half books, I’m already half way through The Hedgehog, the Fox, and the Magister's Pox: Mending the Gap Between Science and the Humanities by Stephen Jay Gould and I think I’m going to read In Search of Schrödinger’s Cat by John Gribbin.

You see, I’m quite a fool, and keeping my head in the clouds and deep space might distract me from my incompetent betting on football. You, you go party and have a good time, I’m gonna work on my personality.

My football picks for week 4 (Overall 21-25)

Indianapolis -9.5 At NY Jets
Indianapolis

San Diego -2 At Baltimore
San Diego

At Buffalo -1.5 Minnesota
Buffalo

Dallas -9.5 At Tennessee
Tennessee

At Kansas City -7 San Francisco
Kansas City

At Carolina -7.5 New Orleans
New Orleans

At Atlanta -7.5 Arizona
Atlanta

Miami -4 At Houston
Miami

At St. Louis -6 Detroit
St. Louis

At Cincinnati -6 New England
Cincinnati

Jacksonville -2.5 At Washington
Jacksonville

Cleveland -3 At Oakland
Cleveland

At Chicago -3.5 Seattle
Chicago

At Philadelphia -11 Green Bay
Philadelphia 28-21

so far i'm even steven

2006-09-21T18:06:00.000-04:00

Two weeks in, and my record is 16-16 at this, so lets go for round three, this time on a Thursday.

I was watching Two and a Half Men (the west coast broadcast that starts at midnight Eastern) on Monday before I switched to the Dodgers-Padres game. I don’t care much for the show, but gosh darn it; that intro song has some of the best lyrics to any television theme song, like, ever. So, today I’m going do my manly football predictions for NFL week 3.

@ Buffalo -6 NY Jets
Man, was I wrong about J.P. Losman. Man, was I wrong about Chad Pennington. Buffalo’s home opener should be a good one for the Bills faithful. Bills defense might be better than New England’s, and considering what the Jets could muster at home last week against the Patriots, this one could be a shutout for the Bills. Now that I’ve dropped all the Jets’ running backs on my fantasy team (Cedric Houston, who’s been inactive on the Jets even though he’s healthy this season) (my fantasy team really, really sucks) I’m thinking the Jets really, really suck. Eli Manning, you may have to battle Brady Quinn for King QB in New York Status pretty soon.
My pick: Buffalo.

@ Pittsburgh -2 Cincinnati
Man can that Jacksonville team play some defense. Pittsburgh, for some reason unbeknownst to me, decided to go with an air attack, thinking possibly, that Jacksonville would expect Pittsburgh to run. But as the game went on, a few things became evident;

Pittsburgh was going to continue to pass thinking that Jacksonville was thinking that Pittsburgh would run, because heck, that’s what the Steelers have always done.
Jacksonville was going to continue to play their fast defense focusing on the run and Hines Ward.
Ben Rothlesberger may not have been 100% healthy.
I was not going to win QB1 because Pittsburgh was choosing not to run.

Jacksonville only came up with 9 points at home. No touchdowns. Last time a team beat a good team without scoring a touchdown this season was St. Louis versus Denver in week one (thanks to Mike for pointing that one out). Week two, on the road in San Francisco, St. Louis lost. Basically, the only thing that can salvage not scoring a touchdown at home is shutting the other team out.

Here are some fun facts about the Pittsburgh Steelers and why they should run even though everyone knows they are going to run.

Year	Rushing Attempts (NFL rank)	Passing Attempts (NFL Rank)	Record
2005	549 (1)	379 (32)	11-5 Super bowl win
2004	618 (1)	358 (32)	15-1
2003	446 (17)	532 (10)	6-10

Yes, Ben Rothlesberger has been their quarterback savior the last two seasons, but really, it’s their running game that has taken them to such great heights. On Monday, the Steelers ran 14 times, passed 32 times. In the first week against Miami they ran 38 times and passed 25. I’m not saying they should run the ball or anything. But they should really run the ball.
My pick: Pittsburgh.

@ Indianapolis -7 Jacksonville
Imagine you’re the Jaguars. You’ve just shutout the defending Super Bowl Champs on Monday night. Now you’re facing the Colts. As much prime time attentions as New England-Denver and Atlanta-New Orleans are getting this is the game of the week. Are the Jag’s for real? Last year, the Jags would have won their home match against the Colts except the Colts had the refs in their back pockets. 7 points is a lot, but if Indy wins, it will be by a touchdown. Jacksonville might be 3-0, but they play up to their opponents, and will lose to a sub-500 team somewhere down the line after beating up some of the big boys. It’s a push.
My pick: Indianapolis.

@ Miami -11 Tennessee
Tennessee. Tennessee
T-T-Tennessee Tennessee
Tennessee. Tennessee
T-T-Tennessee Tennessee
Lord I've really been real stressed
Down and out, losin ground
Although I am oh and two
Problems got me pessimistic
QB’s and defense keep messin up
Why does it have to be so damn tuff?
I don't know where I can go
To let these ghosts out of my skull
My McNair’s past, my Marino’s gone
I never at once felt so alone
I know you're supposed to be my steering wheel
Not just my spare tire (home)
But Nick I ask you (home)
To be my guiding force and truth (home)
For some strange reason it had to be (home)
He guided me to Tennessee (home)

Take me to another place
Take me to another land
Make me forget all that hurts me
Let me understand your plan
My pick: Miami.

Washington -4 @ Houston
This is what happens when teams like Indianapolis and Jacksonville square off, we’re left with the Redskins and the Texans. So, um….yeah. Is Portis healthy? I think so. Even though odds dictate that someone will be a winner, I can guarantee that the fans in Washington and Houston aren’t going to be the ones.
My pick: Washington.

Chicago -3.5 @ Minnesota
Holy smokes is Chicago getting no respect or what? I think I’m going to have to bet on this game on the side. Put me down for a 5-spot on the Norris Division champs.
My pick: Da Bears.

Carolina -3 @ Tampa Bay
Holy smokes. I just put another 5 spot on Carolina. Simply because Tampa has scored only 3 points so far this year and Carolina can’t go 0-3, can they? Seriously? Well, it’s not called gambling because it’s safe now is it?
My pick: Carolina.

@ Detroit -6.5 Green Bay
Speaking of men, did you know that they might also have a reason to have children at a younger age? Brett Favre has probably read this (because all sports figures read my insightful insights into life) and has now impregnated half of Wisconsin. Due to his exhaustion, he will be inactive this week, making the job a little easier for the Lions.
My pick: Detroit.

Baltimore -6.5 @ Cleveland
I hate this. Cleveland might totally win this game, although they have no reason to do so. Football does that, they present these totally unfair match ups, you bet your mortgage on them, and then Cleveland comes out and wins. In case you’re wondering, I think this game should be a cakewalk for Baltimore, which means Cleveland will win.
My pick: Baltimore.

@ Arizona -4.5 St. Louis
If Arizona is going to be an 8-8 team, they’re going to win home games against mediocre teams like St. Louis. If St. Louis is going to be an 8-8 team, they’re going to win games on the road against mediocre teams like Arizona. As you can see, this analysis creates quite a dilemma. Dilemma in football betting terms = take the points.
My pick: St. Louis.

@ Seattle -3.5 NY Giants
Giants should be 0-2. Seattle should play a full 60 minute game (unlike some other NFC team last week). Eli Manning should come back down to earth. In 5 years we should see Shaun Alexander on Dancing with the Stars.
My pick: Seattle.

Philadelphia -6 @ San Francisco
I saw this TV show last night on CBS called Jericho. It was about this town that sees a mushroom cloud off in the distance. In the show, this is explained by the fact that either a nuclear bomb went off or America was under attack (ten years ago it would have been aliens, now it’s terrorists). I watched because they started the show off with a song by the Killers called All these things that I’ve done. This tangent relates to this game in two ways.

First, I actually watched a one hour non-sports television show that wasn’t named back-to back episodes of South Park.

Secondly, I think we were witness to a unique events this past week (the fact that I was on the loosing betting end of both of them doesn’t matter; I’m pretty numb to emotions these days). On Sunday, the Eagles fans suffered a medium grade stomach punch (according to Bill Simmons levels of loosing). Not only did they blow a 17 point lead in the fourth quarter at home to a division rival, but they also lost their best defensive end in Jevon Kearse, a guy who was on pace to have one hell of a sack season (3 and a half in almost 2 games). On Monday, Padre fans also suffered a level two grade stomach punch game after loosing the division lead in the very improbable fashion of giving up four home runs in the bottom of the ninth to tie the game and then loosing in the bottom of the tenth by giving up a home run. But the Padres will go on easier than the Eagles, because baseball is an everyday sport.

The Eagles, well, they are on some really thin ice right now. If they lose this game to a crappy San Francisco team, they’re done for the season. Done like dinner. However, San Francisco’s only chance of making the playoffs this year is if San Francisco turns into Jericho and every other city in America is blown up by a mushroom cloud (was it Aliens, was it Terrorists? Will we ever find out? No we won’t. Just like the television show Lost, we’ll never know, but people will keep watching because they are starved for drama). So far the Eagles schedule has looked mighty light this season.
My pick: Philadelphia.

@ New England -6.5 Denver
Let us just go ahead and say that both of these teams won’t make the playoffs this year. Wait... I read a book this summer about Bill Belichik, and sorry people, I’m convinced. Bill Belichick is a genius. He is really, really smart. He’s not infallible or anything, but he is really, really smart. Denver could only score 9 points last week. Things do not look good for Stan, Eric, Kenny and Kyle's favourite team, even two games hath not a season make.
My pick: New England.

Atlanta -4 @ New Orleans
It’s nice to see the NFL back in New Orleans. The winners, no matter the outcome, are the New Orleans Saints fans. Hey, I got an idea! How about the Saints run off a magical season and make the playoffs on the backs of some emotional fan support? Sound good? Then they have to win this week.
My heartwarming pick: New Orleans 24-21.

do not go gentle into that good night

2006-09-19T12:45:00.000-04:00

Last night I was at a drinking establishment with my friend Kenny, playing QB1 while watching the Monday Night Football game between the Jaguars and the Steelers. As conversations go, we came upon the topic of what we would be doing with our lives if we didn’t follow sport?

His conclusion was that he would have gone down one of two paths; he would either be some sort of great social worker/philanthropist making the world a better place, or he would be a completely lost soul who spent most of his time questioning ‘why?’ and wallowing in the futility of existence on his sofa. I figured I’d probably have a greater social life, and perhaps, instead of going out to watch football with the buddies, I’d be a regular Don Juan. Alas, in my case the female race got off to a slow start versus sport, and now I use words like “love” and “marriage” to best describe my emotional attachment to my pool teams and the Maple Leafs. And yes, I do realize that I’ve just come across as a character in a Nick Hornby novel. But I also like to read, and I find that there is a parallel beauty that exists in the written word and the physical playing field, as was evident last night at Chavez Ravine.

The fact does remain that I do have time at night, especially at late night. And instead of making sweet, sweet love, I use that time to watch the west-coast games (although the word “instead” implies options exist, so I should use an antonym for it instead) (I just used instead again, perhaps I should have stated rather than) (this is a slippery slope, this instead, perhaps, rather than use of, I could do this for hours).

So that brings me to last night. I do live in Toronto, Ontario Canada. And I have never been to Dodger Stadium (although I have gone to see live the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of California of U.S.A. of North America, Earth, Milky Way, the Universe). And in 1989, I was 11 years old and not yet old enough to have stayed up to see Kirk Gibson hit the homerun off Dennis Eckersley.

So now, as a young man, I embraced my liberty from the parental oppression of curfew by staying up last night to watch the Padres – Dodgers game ending. I started watching in the seventh inning, when the game was tied at 4. I figured it would be over by 1 am at the latest but it ended up being closer to 2 am Eastern.

It was being broadcast by the Dodgers, who have one of the greatest baseball announcers of all time in Vin Scully doing the play-by-play. Vin Scully is so good that he does the games by himself, with no colour commentator. Last night, the majesty of the one-man crew (popularized by soccer) blossomed under the spectacle of one of the greatest baseball (if not greatest regular season) games of all time. If you want to hear how sport should be portrayed in audio, listen no further than Vin Scully.

I did have a financial interest in the game. Not directly, but indirectly. I made a small bet for the Padres to win the National League West. So I was following the Padres to see if they could perhaps win the National League. Considering that the Dodgers were their main opponent in that quest, I had considerable interest in the outcome of the game.

If I could have been someone else, someplace else last night, it would have been a Dodger fan at Dodger Stadium. If you asked one those fans what they would do without sports and they would answer, I would not have had this. Eric Neel would not have had this.

If you don’t know what happened, I’ll sum up briefly. Trailing 9-5 in the bottom of the ninth, the Dodgers hit 4 straight homeruns (a feat that had only been done 3 times before in the history of baseball, never been done before in the 9^th inning) to tie the game. The bottom of the next inning, again trailing by a run, Nomar Garciaparra hit a two run home run to win the game.

I write this post because Vin Scully did two things. One, after the game was over he stated that “at a time like this, words are not necessary and the images speak for themselves” which is not only completely true, but also very modest of him to be quiet and let the fans and the scene speak for itself. And two, his final words were along the lines of saying that “there was a poem about not going quietly into the night, and on this night that is exactly what the Dodgers did, not go quietly into the night.”

As it is one of my most famous poems, for Vin Scully, for all the fans in Dodger Blue I present to you, the words of the great Dylan Thomas.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

on the first part of the journey

2006-09-18T16:14:00.000-04:00

Points to ponder

I have less time than I think.
Women have an innate ability to move with extreme stealth. They know how to be seen and heard, and they also understand how not to be seen. Seriously, put a woman in socks and on a carpet, close your eyes, and you’ll never know where she is.
I walk with heavy feet (i.e. loudly)
I don’t know what this says about me as a person (probably not good) but I’ve noticed that there is a particular phrase that I mutter to myself with more frequently. That phrase is “I’m going to hell.”
If you’re a professional football team and you blow a 17 point lead in the fourth quarter and at home then no one will ever bet on you again.
If everyone could come up with just one good idea, we’d have a lot of good ideas.
I’ve just read that Jevon Kearse is out for the season. I have a lot invested in the Philadelphia Eagles, and their loss combined with this piece of news, to put the situation bluntly, does not help my mental stability. Argh, this is going to cost me dollars. Lots and lots of dollars.
I hate grey Mondays. When I woke up a black cat was outside my window, one that I’ve never seen before. I’m thinking of getting home from work and just going to bed so I can end this day quickly.
If the band America is right, and the ocean is a desert with its life underground, then perhaps there is life on Mars.

tick tick tick

2006-09-15T13:49:00.000-04:00

So last week I went 8-8, but I was a perfect 4-0 for the primetime games (Pittsburgh, Indy, Minnesota and San Diego). What does that mean? What does any of it mean? We’re just cosmic dust in a vast and unforgiving universe. Life has moments, some which last, some which enflame our senses. We all have our moments, and those things are tangible, actual things to each and every one of us. But just contemplating the finite moments that we are given, the cruel way in which they can be taken from us by people who we don’t even know, it’s enough to make a grown man cry. Instead of talking about the games, I’m going to talk about something else.

@ Baltimore -11.5 Oakland

This is probably why I follow sports so earnestly. I need to spend time thinking that I am a part of something bigger than myself, something that I can explain. I am a part of the millions of Toronto Maple Leaf fans who have never seen the Stanley Cup raised by a Leaf. There is a chance that I might never see it. But I accept that cost, for the anticipation is part of the journey. I might never see it happen, but I will have traveled along the same path other Leaf fans, and fans of other teams who have also not lived to see a championship.

My pick Oakland.

@ Indianapolis -13.5 Houston

I was watching PBS last night, some universe explaining show about how life can be formed and how random our existence is (that is, for those who perhaps don’t subscribe to a weekly religious news letter). Stars always make me contemplative, and my attention drifted from the show to events of this past week.

My pick Indianapolis

@ Cincinnati -10.5 Cleveland

Which is worse; violence in the name of a Supreme Being or religious cause, or violence in the name of the random cruelty that is exhibited by humans to each other? Holy wars or school shootings?

My pick Cincinnati.

@ Miami -6.5 Buffalo

Killer whales eating baby sea lions, we call that nature, we call that the circle of life. When a young man, disturbed by what has happened to him, lashes out on us and takes an arbitrary life, is that not the cruel random circle of life? Random because although there were signs as to what could take place, we could not predict what was taking place Wednesday afternoon in Montreal. Circle of life because a life was taken, and just like the baby sea lion who was randomly killed for food by the whale, a young girl was randomly killed for….? I don’t know. What possessed that man to do what he did? He didn’t wake up and decide he was going to do that, it was the result certain events. Why did he own a machine gun? How did he buy it? There are so many layers, it is impossible to lay it out in simple cause-effect terms (unlike the whale-sea lion scenario which could be built upon the foundation of the whale’s hunger).

My pick Buffalo.

@ Chicago -8.5 Detroit

It was not because the incident had never occurred; in fact many such instances have occurred. It is because somewhere along the line, for that young man, he seized to be a part of what was going on around him. Things added up for him (in some perverse math) the product of which was a machine gun in one of our schools.

My pick Detroit.

Carolina -2 @ Minnesota

I think it is important to take ownership of the situation. To borrow a phrase from Bill Watterson (creator of Calvin and Hobbes) “we only think these kinds of things happen to other people but we don’t realize that we are all other people to someone else.”

My pick Carolina.

@ Philadelphia -3 NY Giants

Everything we do, and I emphasize everything, has some reaction somewhere, somehow. Little things add up (the origin of the term ‘going postal’ comes to mind). Even for those who do not subscribe to a religious affiliation, there is no denying that the smallest action of taking a breath has the affect of sustaining life.

My pick Philly.

@ Atlanta -5.5 Tampa Bay

Things tend to balance out, in sports and in life. The difference is this; if a pitcher throws a ball, and then throws another ball, odds are he’s going to try to throw a strike with his next pitch. The hitter knows this, the pitcher knows this, and the catcher knows this. The hitter, if he makes good contact with that 2-0 fastball, which is the product of the two balls thrown previously in that at-bat, could hit a homerun. The price for those two balls to the pitcher could be a homerun. But he can live with that, his teammates can live with that, and his fans can live with that. Sure there might be some anger, but it is small and isolated to the incident on the field.

My pick Tampa Bay

New Orleans -2 @ Green Bay

The game ends. There will be another game another day, another chance at that batter, another chance at redemption.

My pick Green Bay

St. Louis -3 @ San Francisco

So we follow our teams, our athletes, every finite season, in the quest to be the best. We feel connected. My friend Matt pointed out to me this past week that beyond the stats and the inculcation of sports at a very young age, perhaps I follow sports for the story. Buster Olney at espn.com, said this very thing yesterday. That his following of sports was not the same day-to-day.

My pick St. Louis

@ Seattle -7 Arizona

Yesterday, Buster wrote in his blog;

Yesterday morning, I went back to my old high school to talk to English students about writing and baseball, and one of the students asked a question about how it was to write about the same general subject, day after day.

It really isn't the same on a daily basis, I responded, because the context changes constantly and there are always fascinating story lines developing and evolving day after day. That's what you root for as a reporter -- not a team, but interesting stories. For instance, I said, the Minnesota Twins, who have a budget equivalent to that of three or four Yankee stars, are getting back a young star pitcher from injury this afternoon, and if he is OK, then the Twins could turn out to be an extremely dangerous team in the playoffs. And that would be fascinating to watch.

My pick Seattle.

New England -6 @ NY Jets

And that’s what we do. We follow the story. That is what humans have always done, follow the story. Hieroglyphics, myths, Survivor. They are all stories for us to follow, something that we do. Perhaps we follow stories because it makes it easier for us to comprehend our own life story. Perhaps it allows us to put our own stories in perspective, give some semblance to our too short existence in the vast, unforgiving universe.

My pick New England

@ San Diego -11.5 Tennessee

This could explain why I spend some time chronicling the random flashes of thought which pass through my head on this website. Why blog? Well, because I write anyways, my hand writing is slightly intelligible, and because I am so immodest as to feel free to share my opinions with the randomness that is the internet. I use this as a vehicle to say something, to try to put words in a combination that may not have been before tried. I could be anywhere writing this, but it would not change what is actually read by others. By that I mean I could be writing this in a cubicle in an office, I could be in a basement, I could be in a library, I could be in a computer lab, I could be at a strangers house, one which I’ve randomly walked into and decided to use their internet. The latter may not be the smartest of decisions, but it does not change the fact that I have written something, I have tried to do something, I have done more than just cite a problem, and I have opened myself up for criticism.

My pick San Diego.

@ Denver -10.5 Kansas City

But most importantly, I do this because I know that my mind is capable of only a finite amount of mind stuff. That is, if I do not put this down now, I may not properly remember it. That is important, I have a limited amount of memory storage space, and I will go back to this and I will read what I have written, and it will be almost new to me. In that sense, I’m almost like the character in Memento. This will to me be as if someone else had written it.

My pick Kansas City.

@ Dallas -6 Washington

It is the great human tragedy, the capacity to forget. I was extremely riled up recently in a conversation with my roommate. She was questioning the validity of “history repeating itself.” She did not believe that it happened. Being a history student, I was quietly enraged. I could not believe that someone had the audacity to think that history will not repeat itself. But I had to give up; I couldn’t get through to her. The fact that she was ignorant of history and then justified her own ignorance by basically stating that what she doesn’t know isn’t important anyways; was completely and totally frustrating.

My pick Dallas.

Pittsburgh -1.5 @ Jacksonville

So I feel that I’ve vented/preached/rambled on long enough. I was deeply disturbed by the actions in Montreal, and am more and more disturbed by the words used by some people to spew out hatred towards others. We only have a finite time, and we’re not getting any more of it.

My pick Pittsburgh, 20-10.

my weekly football pool picks

2006-09-08T15:49:00.000-04:00

I'm in a football pool where we have to pick teams against the spread. I won last year, and what comes with winning is an inflated ego and sense of self. To that extent I am making my picks publicly with some thoughts thrown in. Our tie-breaker is total number of points scored on Monday night, and not only am I going to list the points, I'm going to list the score.

I know this means that I'm most likely going to finish out of the money, but the odds of repeating were slim anyways.

Denver

-4

@ St. Louis

Quite frankly, when Mike Martz threw the coach’s challenge flag last year on the opening kickoff of the opening game, I busted a gut. I’m going to miss his avant-garde coaching. Maybe Detroit will let him throw one for old time’s sake. St. Louis probably won’t be better off without him, even with the coach’s challenges. St. Louis, welcome to 5-11 country. My pick: Denver

Tennessee

-2.5

NY Jets

The must see match up of the week. To paraphrase Sir Elton, T-t-t-tenny and the Jets. Seriously though, if you have any players from any of these teams in your fantasy pool, you probably still should have this game as the last on your Sunday Ticket rotation. Also, if any of those players are starting on your fantasy team and your league is not 20 teams deep, you should consider following the NFL before entering a league and throwing your money away. That being said, I drafted both Curtis Martin and Cedric Houston on my fantasy team, without the knowledge that Kevan Barlow was signed by the Jets. I hate my fantasy team; it’s a disaster waiting to happen. Tennessee might win a couple of games this year, but by this time next year Brady Quinn should be starting for the Jets. My pick: Tennessee.

New England

-9.5

Buffalo

Did I say the Jets were getting Quinn? Buffalo might, but they’ll pull a Detroit/Houston on him and take a defensive player. You see, they have this weird infatuation with J.P. Losman in Buffalo. They find this scrambling quarterback, give him the number 7, and watch their team defense improve and offense regress. Quick name game to prove my point; of Peyton Manning, Kelly Holcomb, Mark Bulger, Matt Hasselbeck, Tom Brady, Ben Rothlisberger, who had the best completion rating last year?

That’s right, second in the league (behind Carson Palmer) was Kelly Holcomb. And J.P. Losman is the starter this year.

That being said, I’m tired of picking favourites, and 9.5 points is quite a lot to give a team with a great quarterback and no wide receivers. My pick: Buffalo.

@ Tampa Bay

-3

Baltimore

McNair-Mason, it’s the early 21^st century Tennessee Titans. This remake sounds more along the lines of an Indiana Jones sequel than a Wild Things sequel (I think they’re up to Wild Things 3 now, really pushing the creative limits of a murder-plot-twist-with-a-token-lesbian-scene movie, which coincidently, always seems to have water involved. They should just name the whole series Attack of the Wet Lesbian Killers). Anyways, back to Mason and McNair, these guys have something cerebral going on. Just like Andrew Cassels and Geoff Sanderson did in Columbus, Mason and McNair they’re going to get together for one last good stats season. FYI, Geoff Sanderson without Andrew Cassels, goals per game (career) 0.25. With Cassels, Sanderson scored at a 0.40 clip (translated into a season, he was a 20 goal scorer without Cassels and a 35 goal scorer with). What does that mean for this game? AFC is better than NFC. No connection to what I’ve said at all whatsoever. My pick: Baltimore.

@ Kansas City

-2.5

Cincinnati

Did you know Trent Green is 36? Did you know that Carson Palmer is 26? The question I have, is can Cincinnati stop Larry Johnson? Their secondary is great, but if Johnson is being tackled by Cincinnati’s secondary, it’s going to be a long day for the Bengals. I’m going to go with the home team here, and say that Larry Johnson has the kind of fantasy day that a first overall selection would. My pick: Kansas City.

Seattle

-6

@ Detroit

Curse bowl 2006. I hate Matt Millen. As my friend Whiting has stated on numerous occasions, and a thought echoed by lots of people, perhaps the Lions, who probably aren’t going to contend for the playoffs this year, could have used their first round selection on something they haven’t had in ages, and something that sorta helps a playoff cause, like a franchise quarterback. No, they decided that a linebacker was due. All due respect to Mr. Sims, but Matt Leinart could be the next Carson Palmer. The curse of Millen will overcome the curse of Madden/Super Bowl losers/official blamers. Someone has to do some investigative research and find out what pictures Millen has, specifically the kind that would grant him a 5 year extension. I hate Millen so much that I’ve now re-written history in my mind and decided the reason Barry Sanders quit was Matt Millen. My pick: Seattle.

@ Carolina

Atlanta

Oh Carolina, ba baa, ba ba baaa. Oh Carolina ba baa, ba ba baa. Oh Carolina something something, you make me lose my something, ba ba baa. Wouldn’t it be something, if Michael Vick finally got comfortable with the west coast offense, if Ashlie Lelie came in and added some quality presence in the locker room and a viable 2nd target, if Atlanta, in their first series, saw nothing but three-step drops from Vick and then him using his blessed arm to fire rockets to Crumpler? It would spread out the Carolina secondary, allowing Dunn to run free past the Carolina linebackers? Alas, Carolina will probably have a linebacker spying on Vick and waiting to meet him 2 yards from the line of scrimmage. Although 5.5 is a lot of points. I’m thinking this game is coming down to a field goal. My pick: Atlanta.

Philadelphia

-5

@ Houston

Philadelphia is going to kill Houston. Absolutely destroy them. As my football prospectus says “Imagine you were a Texans fan and were thinking you could get Reggie Bush as your starting running back and you ended up with Wali Lundy. That would be like dreaming of getting an Xbox 360 for Christmas and waking up with a broken Atari in your stocking.” That being said, defensive ends have a longer career lifespan than running backs, even if Reggie Bush might not only have been Houston’s best running back, but possibly challenged Andre Johnson for top receiver status. Does anyone else see Houston’s move of putting Dominick Davis on the IR as simply a way of preventing him from getting seriously injured because they’ve already thrown in the towel for 2006? My pick: Philadelphia.

@ Cleveland

-3

New Orleans

Torture-Bowl 2006. Even if they lose at least Cleveland fans can say they’ve seen Reggie Bush before anyone else. Again, going with the fact that AFC is better than the NFC and taking the Browns, but not betting on this game. I hate first week games, I should point that out. Because anybody can win, and it doesn’t dictate what is going to happen at all. Did I say Cleveland was going to win? Because I think New Orleans could surprise people this year, just like they could last year, pulling together as a team for the City of New Orleans and playing over their heads (they should have been 2-14 last year and gotten Reggie Bush fair and square). My pick: ~~New~~ Cleveland.

@ Jacksonville

-2

Dallas

TO always has one good season (usually his first) with a team. Dallas should win, Jacksonville is home. I hate the first week. Speaking of Texas, Chris Bosh (who is from Texas I believe) was in the latest issue of ESPN the magazine, and I was afraid. I thought the article was about how Chris Bosh is the best unknown player from that 2003 draft, and how he’s about to get known by moving to another team. But then the facts kicked in, he was just signed to an extension, even thought the Raptors didn’t pick up Aldridge, they did grab his buddy T.J. Ford, and Nesterovic allows Bosh to stop playing the 5, and go to the 4. Things look good for the Raptors. Maybe not playoffs good, but maybe. My pick: Dallas.

Chicago

-3.5

@ Green Bay

Seriously? Only 3.5 points? Screw it; I’m going to use this space to officially state that the Toronto Maple Leafs training camp starts in less than a week (September 14^th) and that I’m officially excited about the upcoming hockey season. Leafs are going to win their division. Everyone who isn’t a Leaf fan is going to hate the Leaf fans (and I won’t be proud of the parades after winning one playoff round). The Leafs fans are like the Yankees fans. There are tons of us everywhere, and that means there are more stupid ones. We’re back baby, and more obnoxious than ever. Suck it. I’m going to Constanza this pick, and go against my instinct. My pick: Green Bay.

@ Arizona

-8

San Francisco

Doing analysis for all the games is a lot more work than I previously thought. I’m probably going to keep the commentary to a minimum. Quick fact, Kurt Warner only started 10 games last year (missing all of October), and lead NFL qb’s in 300 yard games with 5 (he had a 6^th with 285) and averaged 271 yards thrown per start. He also averaged 37.5 pass attempts a game. I think the addition of a running back might bring those numbers back down to earth a bit. My pick: Arizona.

Indianapolis

-3.5

@ NY Giants

Manning Bowl. Blah blah blah. Did you know that the Manning bowl is on this Sunday night on NBC? Who will Mrs. Manning cheer for? Who cares? If the Giants win, Peyton won’t speak to Eli until next year, at the earliest. That being said, Indy might win their first 13 games again this year, and this will be the smallest spread they get. My pick: Indianapolis.

Monday Night

Washington-4.5

Minnesota

If this was the Nationals versus the Twins, who would you take? If this was the Timberwolves versus the Wizards, who would you take? If this was the Capitals versus the Wild, who would you take? Twins and Wild make it 2-1 for Minnesota for me. My pick: Minnesota, 24-17.

San Diego

-3

@ Oakland

This game starts past 10 pm eastern standard time. It might not end until past 1:30. And yet, I’ll be in bed, dozing off until San Diego puts up a two touchdown lead with under 2 minutes to play. And then, and only when they start taking knees because Art Shell used all his timeouts in the third quarter, will I fall asleep. Because a few years ago I missed the Colts comeback against the Buccaneers, and will sacrifice Tuesday morning productivity in order to never again miss a great late comeback. My pick: San Diego, 35-21.

what i did on my summer vacation

2006-09-05T12:57:00.000-04:00

In school today, teacher asked us to write about what we did this past summer. She ignored the fact that a man was a student in her grade 2 class. As would any good teacher.

Dear extremely attractive Grade two Teacher in this odd fantasy of a gentleman,

§ I spent most of this summer with my head in the clouds.

§ I listened to a lot of CBC radio one, trying to figure out the must music song of the day. I was usually wrong.

§ I read a couple of books; David Halberstams Education of a Coach and Mark Harris’ Southpaw. The former I got with my Baseball Prospectus, the latter was recommended by Rob Neyer, a baseball writer. I also read Baseball Prospectus and Football Prospectus. Those are long text like books. Did I read any non-sport books? The Art of War by Sun Tzu and Best a Man Can Get by John O’Farrell. I probably read some more books, I just can’t remember right now.

§ I spent the long-weekends sleeping. I needed the rest.

§ I realized that I the last few years in school had made me fat. I realized this after spending the summer playing on multiple sporting teams and losing some weight and then looking at pictures of myself from this past spring. Man was I tubby. And I thought people were being affectionate by calling me fatty. Only now do I realize that they were being observational.

§ I spent a lot of time working on stuff. That is the best way I can describe how I spend most of my days. I do a lot of stuff. Perhaps the best way to put it is that I am a business man. I do business. Apparently my teenage identity crisis has carried on into my adult stage. This is going to keep me up nights, what do I do? Good thing I found this question now, rather than say, on a date where a female would ask me what I do and I would proceed to freeze up. Screw it, if she asks, I’m a talent scout for a dance show.

§ I realized that with the absence of liquids or gels on planes we’re probably safer, if not more dehydrated, on planes. Also, why aren’t laptops banned? You know, the ones with the batteries that have a habit of overheating and exploding? Aren’t those, you know, a slight safety hazard? Anyways, I’ve figured out a way to increase security, shorten security lines, and increase the number of people that fly (or at least the number of teenage boys). Implement a nudity policy on aircraft. Security checks would be faster, as there are a limited number of hiding spots on the naked body. Line the seats with plastic wrapping, at the end of each flight just rip it off like they do tablecloth at Chinese restaurants.

§ If you tell people you are lying, they won’t believe you. Because that would mean you are lying about lying, or telling the truth about lying, which wouldn’t be lying. Human brains are not built to comprehend the sentence “I am lying about everything.”

§ If you have to tell people you are joking, you are not very funny. If you tell a joke and your audience doesn’t laugh, and you have to tell them “I am joking” you should consider telling better jokes. If you say something sarcastically, and the person you are telling it to does not get it, and you have to say “I am joking”, perhaps you should say “I was being sarcastic.” Either case might be an indication that you need to stop joking/ being sarcastic.

§ The Illusionist was the best movie I saw all summer. Considering my movie list consists of “Just My luck”, “The Break-up”, “Broken Flowers”, and not “Miami Vice”, “Pirates of the Caribbean”, “Talladega Nights” it might not be saying much. But I still had a lot of fun watching the Illusionist. Magic + Movie + good actors in Ed Norton and the son of a former baseball commissioner = good times.

§ There needs to be more verbal math. My life can be described in verbal math.

§ Old car + value village clothes – shaving = zero chicks.

§ New car + new clothes + haircut = same old you.

§ Late night + hungry = Chinese food.

§ Water + coffee = multiple bathroom breaks.

§ Old mattress + bumpy pillow = stiff neck in morning.

§ Bunch of guys + football – knowledge of body limitations + thinking they are still 18 = random football injury or pulled muscle in morning.

§ Bar + girls making out (does not) = trying to get your attention.

§ Bar + girls making out = gay night.

§ Car + funny noise = not good = -$

§ Computers + internet = porn

§ Blog post + one good idea = worth it.

Shameless self promotion right here. In Urdu, Shabash means “congratulations” or “well done.”

monday morning musings

2006-06-26T12:07:00.000-04:00

Reports this past weekend suggest that Chris Pronger wants out of Edmonton; it only makes sense that he goes to Florida for Jay Bouwmeester. Bouwmeester is an Edmonton native; Pronger's wife wants an American city. Mike Keenan has traded for Pronger before as made famous by his famous motivational speech one night in St. Louis. Keenan had traded Brendan Shanahan for Pronger, and at one time was, lets say, less than impressed with Pronger's performance on the ice and proceeded to shout "do you know who I traded you for!?!" at Pronger during a game.

Here's another matchmaking idea. The Toronto Blue Jays should trade for Jeremy Affeldt of the Kansas City Royals. The Jays are in need of bullpen help, and although Affeldt is listed as a starter, the best performances in his career have come from the pen. My friends will recognize Affeldt as the underperforming bench star of my baseball pool team for the past few years, but be assured; I have learned a lot about this guy while he sat on my pool team bench. Not as much as Kevin from Kevin's Royal Blog has, but a fair amount. Affeldt has a one year contract at the moment, and it is conceivable that the Royals new management could flip him for a B grade prospect.

Affeldt is a southpaw with a blazing fastball and above average curve. He has a change and slider, but rarely uses them. His fastball can top in the upper 90s when he pushes it, which he does more often with short stints out of the pen than he does when he starts. Because his fastball and curve are so good, there was a perception that he could start, but his limited pitch variety leaves him best suited for work out of the pen.

Adding Affeldt to the Toronto bullpen would allow Affeldt and Justin Speier to work as co-setup men. It could move Scott Schoeneweiss (who hasn't pitched that well this year) into lefty specialist (OPBAA .196 from the left side and .311 from the right side this year) and it could allow Scott Downs to come into the starting rotation. The starting rotation is seriously hurting right now, and even though Downs has pitched pretty badly as a starter this year, last year he filled in quite admirably for the injured Roy Halladay.

Those are my thoughts; JP would be wise to take a listen to them, but what else would you have me say?

At the very least, Affeldt would be the pimpest reliever in the Blue Jays pen.

don't have a cow man

2006-06-20T11:38:00.000-04:00

I'm often caught wondering. Usually, my wonder is the apparently essential resistance to learn from our past mistakes. "Our" is being used here to term humankind, and "past mistakes" are those things which have been made which need not be repeated. There are many examples in our past from which we can learn from. We have personal experiences, those which shape our individual character and we have shared experiences in our collective past. An example of a personal experience is something we each learn on our own, i.e., for me it's that milk gives me gas. An example of a shared experience is from here in

Canada

. During World War II, Japanese Internment camps started after the attack on Pearl Harbour. For seven years after the attack, Canadians of Japanese origin were racially profiled and ordered to move from their homes mainly due to a deep rooted anti-Asian sentiment among a primarily European descended Canadian population. This took place 60 years ago, meaning that there are living souls from all sides who witnessed this take place.

Witnessing the past is essential to remembering it and learning from it. Sure, our perceptions are all different but there are facts that cannot be ignored. To wit, facts state that planes flew into the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11, 2001. There are millions of people who have first hand accounts of witnessing it on television, backed up by multiple forms of first hand evidence in different mediums. Some people claim to know who flew those planes so certainly that you would believe they were in the cockpit themselves. That is neither here nor there, and does not detract from the fact of the planes flying into the towers, facts which cannot be disputed by anybody with rational mind.

When I was in high school, one of my history teachers taught me the Two-Generation rule. This is by no means a hard rule, but more of conclusion that a person studying history could have come to after observing the past of humanity. The Two-Generation rule applies as such; after Two-Generations the past is not one that we remember but one we are told. What I mean by that is that as individuals, our past only extends as far back as our Grandparents. Anything beyond that might as well be read to us from a textbook, for it is not a first hand story that we will hear, but more along the lines of mythological tales of walking 10 miles in clogs to school in the dead of winter.

This brings this long and winding post to its point, one which I think I've only been throwing darts at so far. Hard line Hindu's in India have won a battle to kill a word, or an idea from their past. Calling them Hard line Hindu's is a discredit to Hindu's just as much as calling some terrorists Islamic. What we have today are mind-warpers, and they come in all shapes in sizes, usually backed by some fanatical misrepresentation of spiritual salvation to be imposed on everybody else. These hard liners in India have outlawed the word "beef" from historical textbooks. Apparently some passages in the textbooks which told of past Hindu's eating beef is considered offensive by some people today. These people hide behind the veil of Hinduism to censor their past. I am saying with 100% certainty that non of those people who have chosen to champion the cause to remove the word "beef" from textbooks were alive to witness first hand the non-eating of beef by those in the past. Of course, the other side of this argument is true as well, that no one is alive who has witnessed those in the past who are suggested to have eaten the beef actually eat the beef. However, this article in today's Toronto Star suggests that there are pieces of evidence from the past which point to the slaughter of cows by Hindu's. To ignore the past is to kill the world, one word at a time.

"Facts be dammed" appears to be the slogan for mind-warpers from everywhere. They will convince you that they are being insulted, that their pride is at stake when facts from the past remove the shine of perfection from their image. Fear of being considered less than perfect is pervasive and seems to only be addressed on the personal level. The group fear of being perceived as less than perfect is almost as big and rarely spoken of.

The point is this; it is an insult to believe that we have been born as perfect creatures that have never made mistakes. Hinduism preaches that cows are sacred and should not be killed (this is my limited understanding). If they were killed by Hindu's in the past, do not hide from that past, because hiding from the past will allow history to repeat itself.

If you are trying to save the children, which is usually the argument of those who rarely listen to their children, teach them the follies of our past, do not present to them a perfect past. A perfect past is a weak foundation for anyone to build a future upon. It is a bar-too high for anyone to achieve. Life will be a constant disappointment for those who believe that everything in the past was perfect, because their life most certainly will not be. We are not perfect creatures, and sometimes need to make mistakes and a helping hand to build a better future.

deus ex machina n Etymology: New Latin, a god from a machine, translation of Greek theos ek mEchanEs 1 : a god introduced by means of a crane in ancient Greek and Roman drama to decide the final outcome 2 : a person or thing (as in fiction or drama) that appears or is introduced suddenly and unexpectedly and provides a contrived solution to an apparently insoluble

raptors win the nba draft lottery...

2006-05-24T10:54:00.000-04:00

...and no one will trade for that pick. I called a few friends after getting the news last night, and after the euphoria of winning the lottery subsided, the reality of the draft rules set in.

As with every story, there is another side to the coin. This time the Raptors win the lottery the one year there isn't a consensus number one and the first year after the NBA institutes it's age restriction on draft eligible players (from 18 to 19). After the Raptors (and Grizzlies) were awarded franchises, the NBA had a new rule not allowing the crappy expansion teams to pick higher than fifth (I'm not sure of the exact number, but the rule I remember), I called that the Orlando rule, after the Magic scored Shaq and C-Webber in back-to-back drafts.

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 4688185

what is up, doc?

2006-05-19T10:08:00.000-04:00

Good day everybody in the internet. I have spent some time recently in the outernet and boy, do I have some news for you. So sit back, relax, grab your popcorn, as a courtesy to other readers please turn off your cell phones, and enjoy the show.

How about them B.J.'s? No, I'm not talking about having another person slob on your knob, and no, I'm not talking about the relief pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, I'm talking about the Blue Jay's themselves. The team that no longer has the word "Blue" on their uniform or hats, and for some reason have been trying to shorten their name down to just "The Jays". Soon they will do away with the "ays" part and be known as the "J's". Then, when long names are cool again, they will again transform their name into "A primary colour followed by the tenth letter of the alphabet." Which might make for some weird uniforms, but they'll be hip, because people will be all about reading, which they will be able to do again in their automatically piloted flying cars or buses. It's funny, we already have airbuses (read: planes) and in fact, we do already have flying cars: they go by a more popular name of "small planes". The future is here people, flying cars, robots that clean after us, and small market teams from Raleigh-Durham, Buffalo, Edmonton and Anaheim being the top 4 teams in the NHL.

Yes, it's time for my predictions for the Stanley Cup Finals. Here they are.

Carolina versus Buffalo. - I don't know.

Edmonton versus Anaheim. - I really don't know.

You can take those picks to the bank. I have no idea what is going to happen and even if I did, I wouldn't dream of just sharing such valuable information with you. Old man Biff was right, get a sports almanac, steal the Delorean Time Machine, go back in time and visit your younger self and give him that Almanac and sit back as you slowly but surely take over the internet gambling sites, porn sites and then the world! Ha ha! Take that Doc! Not Halladay, but the other Doc, McFly's uncle or something. I forget, did Doc ever come back from the old west? I don't remember what exactly happened, I do remember that movie raising some philosophical questions from myself, and in doing so, making me consult what Stephen Hawking thought of time travel. Lo and behold, Chapter 10 of a Brief History of Time, Hawking mentions the movie when talking about the alternate histories hypothesis (near the bottom of the page).

But I digress. About the Stanley Cup playoffs. Even though the Oilers ruined my chance of turning little money into lots (by eliminating San Jose), I am cheering for them. Not because they're Canadian, I don't buy into nationalistic cheering for professional sports teams. But because they play hockey like I would like to play hockey if I cloned myself 20 times, learned how to skate, and made a hockey team of me and my skating clones. It's also because of their goalie. Between Cam Ward, Ryan Miller, Ilya Bryzgalov and Dwayne Roloson, I'm choosing Rolie the Goalie. The sip from the cup is sweeter the longer the journey to it.

There once was a man named Rolie,
He was an Oiler, their best goalie.

Anagram of the day. Rolie-Oiler. Think about it.

the show must go on

2006-05-05T11:44:00.000-04:00

Moving is quite the adventure. I'm back in Toronto. And enough about that. Ok, now I'm done with the personal stuff and on to the bizness at hand.

Since most of my predictions for winners of round one in the NHL playoffs were wrong, and since the NHL reseeds after each round I decided to start my predictions now. I still have 5 of my 11 players in the playoff pool going, and 3 of them are on San Jose. Go Sharks.

Here are my second round predictions.

EAST

Buffalo vs. Ottawa
I hate Ottawa. I can't believe that I was at a bar where some ottawa peons defended what chris 'turtle' neil did against Dingman. The Ottawa fans considered neil's actions as 'smart hockey'. I dunno, neil doesn't strike me as the type that could beat me in a chess match. He's also ugly. And he smells. But he's really smart at picking fights and then cowering in fear to get an opposing player a two-minute penalty. What a freakin genius. Sun Tzu has nothing on chris neil, neil should write a book, call it the art of wuss.

Buffalo in 7

New Jersey vs. Carolina

Hey, Carolina. Remember when you had two games against the Lightning at the end of the season and you couldn't score on a 5 on 3 powerplay in overtime and then St. Louis busted up the ice and scored to give Tampa the win and eliminate Toronto from the playoff race? Well, Brodeur is no Tortorella bitch in net, so good luck.

Probably the best coaching match of the playoffs, winner of this series probably will represent the East in the Cup Final.

New Jersey in 6

WEST

Edmonton vs. San Jose

Top seed in the West is 5th. I can't ever recall the underdogs winning every single first round match up in any sport. My friend Mike is quite an astute gambler, and he told me before the playoffs started that he thought the West was so up in the air that I should take the underdogs if the odds are good. I wonder how much money he made following his own advice.

Edmonton has Horcoff's-hearty-heart-heart, but San Jose has Thornton's-Harty-Hart-Hart. Will he be the first ever athlete to be traded mid season and win the most valuable player award for that season? Lets hope so. People may say that Jagr did more with less, but how many other people on the Rangers are nominated for awards and how many Sharks are nominated for awards? By my count (not including the scoring awards), it's 3-2 for the Rangers in categories that reflect more on the team's success rate. blah blah blah...

San Jose in 5

Colorado vs. Anaheim

Hot teams are hot teams. Anaheim is hot, Colorado is not. Anaheim is playing a brand of team hockey that I have not seen executed since the Devils cup runneth teams of yesteryear, when blogs were journals, penalties were infractions, winters were cold, hair was not-grey, belly was flat, chicks were smile-at-me, legs were fast, lungs were pink, liver was not-damaged, pods were about peas, Go-Bots were on the rise, K.I.T. was Michael Knight's best friend, the chick on the show was hot too, there were more lap-dances than lap-tops, porn was hard to come by if you were a kid, it was safe to eat the gum that came with hockey cards, food wasn't dissected by its content of protein/carb/fat/transfat/suger/you're gonna get hit by a crappy driver soon so just go to Burger King and pig out and running jokes were shorter.

Anaheim in 5

On another note, I used to live by myself, and now have roommates. This cartoon was found recently, and it really, really, hit the nail on the head. This is how I would spend about 75% of my non-sleeping time.

sports as a barometer

2006-04-19T12:39:00.000-04:00

April 19th, 2006. The roof is open at the SkyDome for an afternoon game between the Blue Jays and the Yankees. This might be the earliest point in the baseball season that they have opened up the roof. Usually the roof doesn't open up until May, sometimes mid to late May.

As I was studying last night, I had mlb.tv on in the background and was amazed at how far the internet has gone in the fifteen odd years since I've had access to it. What started out as a young lad playing doom online to now, using the internet connection to watch sporting events.

One thing I will never forget is the sound that a modem made when it would be communicating with another one, I think it went something like this, "beep boop beep boop kudung kudung tchhhhhhhhhhhhhh". With the "tchhh" part being really loud. I used to hide from my parents the fact that I was playing Doom late at night against my friend Mike by using pillows to cover up the modem noise. Man, why couldn't modems come with a mute button?

And now, I can sit on my patio, in the sun, in the twenty-degree Celsius weather outside, read a book, and have my laptop play the game with the help of a wireless connection. And make a blog entry at the same time.

With all these toys at our disposal, it's the kids that I'm truly worried about. Toy toy, distraction, distraction. By not paying attention, you could sign away your soul to the devil, and not even get a donut in return. Kid's, don't sign for anything if you aren't sure what it means. It's ok to say 'I don't know what that word means' or, 'is this what this word means?' before you sign it. Because recently, I saw a clip of a young guy walking around convincing young girls to sign a petition to end women's suffrage. Actually, it was a pretty funny clip. The only girl they showed not signing it was a blonde chick, so you can take that stereotype and boom box it.

Suffrage n 1: vote 2: the right to vote : franchise

Reason number 1243 that computers can't take over the world like they did in the Matrix yet: We humans are not programming them with much intelligence. To wit, the spell check on this blog site does not recognize the word 'blog'.

always good for a laugh

2006-04-19T01:12:00.000-04:00

Imagine yourself as a pitcher facing the New York Yankees. You're 24 years old, and it's a tie game 0-0, in the top of the second. You have a runner on first, and a full count to the Yankee catcher Jorge Posada.

And then...

Your protective cup slides down your pants. Your jock is now protecting your kneecap, which would be ok, but it's sorta a tough situation and you really don't need the jock-down-the-pants as a distraction while you pitch.

So you call time. You call your manager out. You tell him the situation. This is his reaction.

AP Ann Heisenfelt
Good times. For video evidence of the situation, click here. Scroll to about the 30 minute mark in the game (top of second, 2 out, 3-2 count). If this link doesn't work, you can try the MLB.tv archives (if you know how to navigate them) and access the highlight from the game on the 14th of April between the Yankees and the Twins.

Good times.

baseball clips

2006-04-17T14:40:00.000-04:00

Last few days spent watching some Blue Jays play some baseball. Good team, it's going to be a fun season.

Saturday, ninth inning, Jays versus White Sox. The play of the year so far in baseball, and I don't see how it can be topped. Tadahito Iguchi (Chicago's 2nd baseman) makes an incredible throw to first to get Bengie Molina out. I thought the Jays were mounting a ninth inning rally when Iguchi fell down. Thing was, as he was falling, he threw to first. Watch it here and see for yourself. (clicking will open up a media player).

For all you thinking fans of the game: Last night in L.A., Omar Vizquel was the middle man for a rare, groundball 4-6-5 double play. Watch it here. Vizquel doesn't even look at first but turns and fires to third. I don't know what he could have possibly seen up to this point to make him think he could get the runner at third, but somehow he did.

Finally, for those of you who appreciate the effort. Game 6 of the 1986 world series as commented by Vin Scully. For visuals, RBI baseball. Truly, a majestic piece of art.

i'm so wrong

2006-04-16T04:21:00.000-04:00

here's the thing, upon revisiting the clip of the goal mentioned in my last post, I can see the Canuck bench door open and two players standing. Those two were probably the Sedin twins. I'm sorry official scorer, I was being a tight ass.

I'm just wrong about so much sometimes, that instead of being a person who criticizes, instead, I'd like to give thanks.

I'd like to begin by giving thanks today to the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Thank you for still trying to make the playoffs. Even though I counted you out weeks ago, you did your best. Like a procrastinating university student, you waited until your back was up against the wall, the night before your paper was late and absolutely couldn't be handed in any later, and even though you put up an A+ effort, in the end, the late marks drop your grade down to a C. But I was there while you put the A+ effort in, and I know that if you had just done that with a week to go before your paper was due, instead of the night before your paper was due, you would have been in the playoffs.

Thank you to Mats Sundin, who played the best hockey of his career during a ten game stretch when everyone was waiting for you to fall. You never fell, the mountain to climb just happened to be bigger than we thought. If I ever have children to tell a story, I will tell them the story of Mats Sundin, and how he carried the Maple Leafs even though victory was not in grasp.

Thank you to Jean Sebastian Aubin, you were the best goalie to wear the uniform of the Maple Leafs this year.

Thank you to Ed Belfour. You had possibly the worst season of your illustrious career, but not once did you come out and say anything bad about a defence core and forward line up that played like shit in front of you.

Thank you to Tie Domi. Tie, dressed or scratched, you are the embodiment of what a Maple Leaf fan would be if they played for their team.

Thank you to Matt Stajan. Even though you didn't get the playing time you deserved until late in the season, you made up for it by playing like a one man army when the Leafs were short handed. Everything that can be done should be done to make sure you are a Leaf for your whole career.

Thank you to Tomas Kaberle. Even though you weren't the highest scoring defenceman on the team, you were the one player that I could see saying to himself "fuck it, I'm joining the rush and we're scoring." More often than not the plan would fail, but the effort and the artistry was not lost on myself.

Thank you to Ian White. I've seen you play one whole game. I would like to see you play one whole season based on that one whole game.

Thank you to Jason Allison. You broke your hand in a fight, standing up for a fellow teammate in that disaster that was the March road trip in Montreal. Because you broke your hand in that fight standing up for a teammate and missed the rest of the season, you lost out on multiple salary incentive clauses that would have kicked in. Although some detractors say that you aren't the most fleet of foot on skates, the game slows down when you have the puck on your stick. To all those critics that site that the Leafs only sign high priced mercenaries, I would like to present to you Jason Allison, a man who lost dollars in the name of standing up for a teammate. How many other NHL teams can say they have a player who has done the same?

Thank you to Kyle Wellwood. Dude, you gots mads skillz with the puck. Another season or two and you'll be a point a game player. Just keep that head up.

Thank you to Alexander Steen. Your awareness on the ice is far greater than the years you possess would suggest.

Thank you to Alexei Ponikarovksy. You are about to become a scary force to opponents in the NHL. I'm glad that you're Leaf. Keep making those hits to open up passes.

Thank you to Carlo Colaiacovo. Come back healthy next season.

To all you and to all the rest that I have neglected to mention: Thank you for the effort you made and for the nights you made watching you play enjoyable. The high's are not the high's without the low's. No matter where you are next year, feed off that emotion you felt right after St. Louis scored tonite.

Go Leafs Go.

CSI Vancouver

2006-04-13T14:27:00.000-04:00

Hear ye, hear ye, all ye conspiracy theorists. I invite you to the case of the dastardly Swedes. However; these Swedes are not dastardly, just made out to be so. They were framed I tell you, framed!

It's a classic case, of a double switch, pulled off by identical twins!

Here's the deal. I was making a diagram to show the incredible pass made last night by Joe Thornton to Grant Stevenson for the Sharks first goal. Since it was a really long pass, pulled off on even strength, I decided to add coloured dots to show the approximate position of the players on the ice at the time of the pass. Then I decided to (by using the nhl.com highlight machine's clip of the goal) record the corresponding player numbers for the dots. I couldn't find all the players, so I decided to do a quick cross-reference with the official scoresheet. Here's the diagram (if you click on it it should zoom to a larger size).

There's Thornton (19) at the left end of the long line, and there is Stevenson on the right (37). Now, here's the problem, everyone seems to be in place as verified by the video highlights except for two players on the Canucks. Player 14 and a player I have listed as "?". Both are around the faceoff circle to the left of the Sharks goalie Toskala (#35). Here's what happened.

As I was cross referencing with the official scoresheet, I noticed that the Sedin twins (#22 & #33) were both listed as being on the ice at the time of the goal. There are three skaters that are clearly shown as being on the ice (#44 Bertuzzi, #2 Ohlund, #23 Brown) a fourth whose identity is not so clear but can be easily deduced, and a fifth whose identity is a mystery. Quite clearly, the fourth player on the ice for Vancouver can bee seen to have a number 4 on his jersey. There are three players who were dressed for Vancouver last night that have a number 4 on their jersey, they are; Todd Bertuzzi (#44), Nolan Baumgartner (#4), and Alexander Burrows (#14). Bertuzzi is clearly shown on the ice as another player, and the player with number 4 clearly shows another number preceding it on the jersey, possibly a 1. If that player is Burrows, and three other players are clearly shown by video evidence to be Bertuzzi, Ohlund and Brown, then both the Sedin twins could not possibly have been on the ice for that first Sharks goal. I contend that neither of them were on the ice at all, and that mysterious player "?" was actually #20 Ryan Kesler! (This is where I would slam my big textbook in the courtroom to underline my point with a loud bang)

What's the point? Twain said there are three types of lies in this world: lies, damn lies and statistics. Statistics are recorded by humans, and we all make mistakes. However, the plus minus of the Sedin Twins is affected by this, and I have no idea as to the contract details of any players in the NHL, but quite possibly there are incentives or salary bonuses that kick in for specific plus-minus milestones.

Where are the checks and balances for the NHL? This is clearly an internal issue, and I have no business in it, but I found something, and I figured people should know about it.

Oh yes, before I forget. With the win last night over the Canucks, the Sharks clinched a playoff spot. James Mirtle believes that Joe Thornton should win the Hart Trophy. Question, if Thornton does, would he be the first ever Hart Trophy winner to win be traded within that season? I have a friend who is a veritable hockey encyclopedia, his name is Greg Oliver (not the same one who writes wrestling columns for the Sun Media newspapers)(to all those that have googled "Greg Oliver" to get here, I would like to say 'hello'), and he would know. As soon as Greg lets me know, I'll let you know.

hits from the bong

2006-04-12T20:51:00.001-04:00

First things first. Nobody said anything, but I feel as though I made some mistakes and i need to clear them up. First off, Shea Hillenbrand hit a 3-2 pitch into a double play, and when the count was 3-1, he took a pitch that was called a late strike, one that could have sent him to first, so i could see why he would be swinging at any fastball close to the zone.

Jays scored 3 runs in the top of the first today and lead 7-2 heading into the bottom of the fifth. Good for them.

Cheech on the left and Chong on the right.
And so the Hockey playoffs start tonite, with a small home and home between the Sharks and the Canucks. It's raining here in ottawa, and I'm still thinking about trying to catch the game at some bar.

I'm gonna call this series the battle between Cheech and Chong. Cheech is obvious, but the Canucks will be Chong and I'll be Shemp.

Basically, the Canucks have 89 points with three games to go, and two of them against the Sharks who have 93 points with 4 games to go. Edmonton is the real team the Canucks are chasing, and they have 91 points with 2 games to go. Who knows where the chips will fall? Not me. If you do, feel free to tell everyone.

This word is for Bill Watterson. I've been looking for a transmogrifying gun ever since I saw Calvin with one.

transmogrify v : to change or alter greatly and often with grotesque or humorous effect intransitive senses : to become transmogrified
synonym see TRANSFORM

i have to go now. my planet needs me.

2006-04-12T01:59:00.000-04:00

Welcome to a new segment here on "Saving the world one word at a time." It's called Do you even know what that means? It is going to be hosted by an new character. Even though it is still me doing all the work, I figured adding a new character to the blog would add some life to it. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" I hope you like it.

I'll let Krusty the clown make the introduction.

Once in a great while, we are privileged to experience an internet event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared heritage.

1969: Man walks on the moon.

1971: Man walks on the moon... again.

Then, for a long time, nothing happened. Until tonight.

Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, welcome the newest member of the SWOWAT family....

Poochie!

Yo yo yo, this shout out to what a homey even means goes out to Bruce Garrioch, a sports writer for the Ottawa sun. In an article from this past Saturday he wrote:

Not only is Heatley on the road to scoring 50 goals and 100 points, he was selected yesterday as Ottawa's nominee for the Bill Masterton Trophy, which is given to a player each season for perseverance and dedication to hockey.

and then in the same article, one paragraph later...

Heatley requested a trade from the Thrashers last August. Following the lockout, he decided it would be to difficult to return to Atlanta, where he was involved in a tragic car accident that took the life of friend and teammate Dan Snyder.

Brucey, Brucey, Brucey. Do you even know what perseverance means? Maybe if you get a dictionary, HNIC will invite you back to the Hot Stove Lounge. For Brucey and all the members of the Ottawa chapter of the Professional Hockey Writers' Association, this one's for you.

perseverance n : the action or condition or an instance of persevering : STEADFASTNESS.

persevere intransitive verb Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French perseverer, from Latin perseverare, from per- through + severus severe
: to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement.

Finally, in Haiku form, just because I can and it almost rhymes.

In case you're not clear,
requesting a trade is not
how one perseveres.

Catch you onthe flip side, dudemeisters......NOT! Hey, kids, always recycle... TO THE EXTREME! Bust it!

walking is not enough exercise

2006-04-11T22:27:00.000-04:00

Newsflash: 5 months of walking to and fro from home and school is not enough exercise to keep me in shape. Especially if I'm only walking to the bus stop.

It was a beautiful day in Ottawa today, and yesterday it was nice as well. So I decided to break the shell of atrophy and shoot some hoops. Well, after stretching for a good half hour, it took me 5 minutes of playing to start cramping up in my lower legs.

It was pathetic.

I couldn't jump, I couldn't run, I couldn't even turn. Muscles were seizing up all over the place.

Needless to say I'm not nearly old enough, nor wily enough, to play like a wily old vet, so I have to get this body thing going again.

Atrophy n 1 : decrease in size or wasting away of a body part or tissue; also : arrested development or loss of a part or organ incidental to the normal development or life of an animal or plant 2 : a wasting away or progressive decline : DEGENERATION [the atrophy of freedom]

Screw amphetamines, if anyone knows of where I can find drugs to make my muscles not seize up, I'd appreciate it. I already have a full prescription of exercise and stretching, so anything else would help.

Jays could have used some more walking as exercise today, especially in the first inning. They played in the Boston home opener this afternoon. If it is possible to lose a game in the top of the first inning, then the Jays certainly did it today. A quick summary, top of the first, bases loaded, one out. Beckett (the Boston starting pitcher)(I don't know why I felt compelled to add that fact) has thrown about 27 pitches so far, allowing one hit and walking 3, in the inning. He was clearly not in the groove to that point in the game. On a 2-2 pitch Shea Hillenbrand grounds to the 2nd baseman and into a double play to end the inning.

At that point, only scoring one run was a killer. It's not that they scored one run or squandered the chance that killed the game for them, it's that they had Beckett by the throat. Hillenbrand should have been trying to put the ball in the air, to at least get a sacrifice fly in that situation. Anything to the outfield would have scored the run from third. The runner was Wells, and the outfield for Boston was Ramirez, Nixon, and a Canadian in centrefield, Adam Stern. I don't know how good an arm Stern has (or a good leg, or a good bat, I know nothing about this guy, according to Prospectus he's good defensively) but he was playing centre field and I imagine the a ball flying that distance would have been enough to score a guy with Vernon's speed.

Needless to say Beckett got his groove on by the top of the second, settled down quite nicely and his final line was great. 7 innings 3 hits, 1 run, 4 walks. Considering 3 of those walks and one of those hits came in the first, you can imagine that he did get his groove back by the second inning. Boston complemented his groove by scoring 4 runs in the bottom of the second (Tower's only bad inning) and then for some reason in the bottom of the seventh with a 3-0 count Vinny Chulk decided to pipe a fastball into David Ortiz's wheelhouse. Ortiz was swinging, and lead for the Red Sox was a big 4 runs (note to managers and pitchers everywhere: with a lead late in the game Ortiz is swinging on a 3-0 pitch). All I could think was 'why Vinny, why? just walk him.')

But, on the whole, the Jays proved that they can compete with the big boys in the east, for the game was a lot closer then the 2 runs show. Also, Wily Mo Pena doesn't appear to be the greatest fielder. Things could get interesting when Pena and Ramirez are on the field at the same time.

Final note, after a week of play, Bronson Arroyo has 2 more home runs than the player he was traded for, Wily Mo Pena. If I find odds I like, I'd bet that Arroyo hits more home runs than Pena this season.

pronkasauras

2006-04-08T17:31:00.000-04:00

Pronk-Half Project, Half donkey. Annoying baseball pool stat of the day. Pronk has 4 home runs and 5 RBIs.

In other news, my baseball pool team starters can't seem to allow less than five runs an outing. I know I know, it's early and you don't care. But still.

Annoying baseball pool stat of the day #2. Chris Shelton has 5 home runs and 6 RBI's.

8:49 Chris Shelton is 13 for 18 so far on the season. He's got 2 triples tonite. The Tigers, the 2006 Detroit Tigers, have set a Major League Record for most home runs to start a season with 16 through 4 games.

eureka, fools gold!

2006-04-07T23:51:00.000-04:00

It hasn't even been a week yet, and I don't have splits from last year, but here are some numbers from the 2006 MLB baseball season which backup my claim that relievers are giving up lots of big flies. Heading into tonite:

Starters 97 HR allowed 375 IP 0.2587 HR/IP
Relievers 59 HR allowed 92 IP 0.6413 HR/IP

(stats courtesy of MLB.com)

Now, really small sample size, but HUGE discrepancy in numbers between starters and relievers. These numbers just go to back up my claim that the ban on greenies is affecting relievers more than any other position player. And quite frankly, I don't remember how I got to that claim, or why I'm using home runs allowed as the barometer to justify that claim. I should re-read my own last post.

I'm also going to have to find numbers from last year to compare this year's numbers to, verifying that this is a stat of note.

That still doesn't answer the question of why I'm doing this. I mean, I do have a paper to write on Joseph Howe, so that's why I'm thinking about baseball, but I forget my point as to why I'm tracking home runs allowed by starters versus relievers in 2006.

I think I've misplaced my marbles. I can't seem to find them.

Also, I was playing solitaire with a real deck of cards (as opposed to on the computer) and the 6 of diamonds was missing.

All these incidents mean something....

tergiversation n 1 : evasion of straightforward action or clear-cut statement : EQUIVOCATION 2 : desertion of a cause, position, party, or faith

body break

2006-04-07T21:57:00.000-04:00

Jays were up 6-0 after three innings tonite against the Devil Rays, were down 8-6 after seven and a half, when Vernon Wells hit a solo shot to lead off the bottom of the seventh to make it 8-7. Hollins homered in the ninth for the Rays to make it 9-7. Wells lead off the ninth with another home run to make it 9-8. Eight homeruns tonite so far in this game.

It seems as if home runs are being hit at a high rate to start off this season. What's the answer? Steroids? Juiced balls? Expansion diluting the pitching talent? No to the first two, perhaps yes to the last. But you're going to hear the real reason here first. The reason? Greenies.

Baseball's new ban on amphetamines this year. Greenies is their clubhouse name, and they were made famous in Jim Bouton's book Ball Four. Who uses amphetamines the most? My guess is those guys who have to sit around for a long time and then come in and pitch, the relievers.

Before MLB does something stupid like claim it owns the rights to stats from it's games, I'm thinking a good stats survey would be to track the increase in the long ball this year, specifically those given up by relievers. My guess is it's significant. I'll wait for the sample size to reach a month before I start my survey.

Jays lost 9-8. Prince Felix has just taken the mound in Seattle against the A's, and I gotta tune in to see what all the fuss is about. This kid, according to the folks at Baseball Prospectus, is to baseball what Lebron is to basketball and Crosby is to hockey (Crosby and not Ovechkin because Felix is a teenager and Alexander the Eight was 20 to start this season). Prince Felix will turn into a King later tonite, as his 20th birthday is tomorrow.

Amphetamine n : a racemic compound C9 H13 N or one of its derivatives (as dextroamphetamine or methamphetamine) frequently abused as a stimulant of the central nervous system but used clinically especially as the sulfate or hydrochloride salt to treat hyperactive children and the symptoms of narcolepsy and as a short-term appetite suppressant in dieting.

Now, before I go back to my paper that was due today, here are some sites worth looking into if the greenie subject has you interested.

Here's a website, with some doctors are behind it, so it should be credible as to the side affect of amphetamines. Here's a sample of what the author of this piece, Amy Scholten says, specifically about amphetamines.

Amphetamines (also called speed or uppers) are stimulants that can decrease the appetite and the need for sleep. If injected they can cause a rapid increase in blood pressure, which can lead to sudden death from heart failure, stroke, or very high fever. Examples of amphetamines include prescription drugs such as Dexedrine, Adderall, or Ritalin, as well as amphetamines that are illegally manufactured for sale as drugs of abuse.

Now as for baseball's banning ruling, an article by Hal Bodley in USA Today from last November.
Finally, an article from a couple of days ago about baseball and amphetamines in the Palm Beach Post by Carlos Frias.

Greenies will be in the news everywhere in a little while. Hopefully more sports (like hockey) will ban them publicly (they might be banned in the NHL, but the NHL has not publicly listed the banned substances they test for).

More and more it seems that Jose Canseco did a good thing by writing Juiced. I say this not because he was bankrupt and bitter; but because he did help, in some small way, to accelerate the process of officially banning the substances in the Major Leagues.

Hopefully this ban on 'uppers' will reach the mainstream mind-set. That is, recreational players or adult amateurs who play sports and use them will stop using them due to the heart risks associated with them.

Till next time, keep fit and have fun.

baseball question

2006-04-06T21:52:00.000-04:00

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati. Bottom of eighth inning. 5-5. 2 out. Runners on 1st (Lopez) and 2nd (Denorfia) . Mike Gonzalez versus Adam Dunn. Dunn hits a soft liner to centerfield, Duffy (the Pirates cf) makes a great diving attempt at the ball, catches it (traps it) after it clearly bounces on the field. Duffy then holds his glove up as if he had caught the ball. The umpire buys it, calls Dunn out. Pirates leave the field. Denorfia scores, Lopez scores.
Umpire conference. Reverse the call. Now the interesting question is, since you reverse the call, what do you do with the runners? The Pirates were leaving the field as Lopez scored.
The umpires award Denorfia home, put Lopez to third and give Dunn a single. Jim Tracy (manager of the Pirates) argues, gets tossed.
Duffy leads off the ninth for the Pirates. On a 1-2 pitch he gets hit on the top of the foot by the pitch. Home plate umpire doesn't award it to him. Duffy strikes out on the next pitch.
Scouting report:
Chris Duffy CF Pirates: Struck out 21 times in 60 odd at bats in spring training. He's in the lineup for his excellent defence. Since he's solid defensively, Jim Tracy bats him leadoff. Jim Tracy is not a dumb man, he just has no other option asides from Duffy. Duffy will easily strike out 150 times this year if he continues to bat from the leadoff position.

how long can it last?

2006-04-06T19:12:00.000-04:00

no cable tv in apartment, but cable internet a subscription to mlb.tv tuned into the Jays Twins game online and was pleasantly surprised with a live feed of Bruins-Leafs instead. someone forgot to tell mlb that sportsnet ontario is showing the Leafs game. I hope no Twins fans are trying to watch the game.

go Leafs go.

Answer: 20 minutes, I got to catch half of the first period before MLB.tv switched over to TSN who is actually broadcasting the game.

my identity as a time stamp

2006-04-06T02:38:00.000-04:00

at 2:38 I will be forever known as 2:38. You can refer to me as 2:38 if I say something stupid. For example. I could say that I saw a shooting star yesterday go across almost half the sky here in ottawa and quite frankly it's the 2nd best thing I've seen in 2 years here (the best being a Sigur Ros show where they did this crazy thing with birds).

And then you could say '2:38, you're a dumbass. There are no such things as shooting stars, only UFO's that come to spy on us. dumbass.'

And that's how we can talk, anonymously, and yet to each other. I'll be 2:38, and you can be whatever time it is for you. As long as this thing gets posted at 2:38, otherwise I shall look like quite the fool.

I think my mind has left me, and considering it's finals time, I couldn't think of a better time for it to leave. What's my reasoning for absence of my brain? In two weeks, with baseball starting, NHL and NBA playoffs coming, this, my time stamp identity idea, is the best idea for a post that I could come up with. On the plus side, I'm up to chapter 5 in my story about how a cow got into a foyer. Maybe that's where all my energy is going.

This song made me laugh quite a bit. I hope you enjoy.

brokeback hockey

2006-03-23T01:00:00.000-05:00

Caution: This clip has partial male-male nudity, as Pavel Datsyuk is seen undressing Tomas Vokoun last night in Detroit during the shootout.

Tomorrow night we come to you live, from Montreal and the Bell Centre to tell you about the Leafs in their playoff hunt.

As for the Ottawa Citizen, they are on a "death watch" for the Leafs. I wonder, is it a rivalry if only one side cares about it?

faulty camera in my mind

2006-03-22T02:24:00.000-05:00

This is to tell you to go watch the video for Death Cab for Cutie's song What Sarah Said. Click here.
This link will be useless in 5 days (March 27).
Go, listen, watch. Google the French.

Here's a swan.

AFP/Valentina Petrova

blogger trap

2006-03-21T13:44:00.000-05:00

I've fallen into it, but I just read something that I can't ignore. ESPN is one of the major player's in sports media (if not the major) and recently has done a few things to tarnish its own reputation. Last night, on ESPN, they had a love in with Drew Rosenhaus. I caught a clip from espn.com, but Eric McErlain watched the whole thing and has a better take.

Today is a different day, and under a different light I read this courtesy of ESPN Page 2's Dan Shanoff in his Daily Quickie:

T.O.-nanism": Fans who gratify themselves over their team's signing of a player who, just days before, was one of the most loathed opponents in franchise history.

It must be a banner day for personal-injury lawyers in Dallas, what with all the whiplash cases from fans who used to hate T.O. now lined up begging for him to preen on the Cowboys' midfield star.

"But he's our jerk" is the simple explanation, and it has become one of the most basic laws of sports fandom. Here are a couple other recent examples:

Kings fans: Ron Artest
Mets fans: Carlos Delgado
Eagles fans: Terrell Owens

The corollary? "Damonizing": Fans who flip-flop on players who as recently as last season were heroes, until they jumped ship to another team. Let the boos rain.

Meanwhile, T.O. is coming out with a tell-all book in July sure to dis his ex-Eagles teammates. Who had 48 hours as the over/under of the point when Bill Parcells regrets signing him. Enjoy that mini-camp, Coach!

(Do the optimistic/naive 46 percent of fans who voted in SN that they think T.O. and Tuna can peacefully coexist want to change their vote?)

So. Carlos Delgado is a jerk? I fired off a quick letter in response.
-------------
I used to read your daily quickie very frequently. However, by lumping Carlos Delgado as a "jerk" alongside Ron Artest and Terrell Owens, I am ashamed for you. This is a tragic piece of journalism, considering one of your peers on page 2 wrote an article on the rights of an individual to quietly protest (emphasis on the quiet part, it took someone going "hey, what's he doing? Look at this guy over here, hey everybody, look at this guy over here" for people to notice), and then we have you calling him a "jerk" for doing so. If he has done anything else to warrant that label from you, it is beyond me. From where I stand Carlos Delgado is one of the finest individuals in sports today (if you had any idea what he does for Puerto Rico you would be ashamed of yourself). America should be proud to have Carlos Delgado as one of its citizens.

God Bless Carlos Delgado.
-----
Just so you know, Carlos Delgado chooses to stand along side his teammates during the seventh inning break for God Bless America, because he was quietly protesting, and he realized that his choice had become not quiet and instead had become a distraction to the team.

I leave you with this thought; Dan Shanoff is a cockfag.

Parochialism n : the quality or state of being parochial; especially : selfish pettiness or narrowness (as of interests, opinions, or views)

taste the cookies

2006-03-20T15:27:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but for some reason in class this morning, when my stats prof started using an example about 'tasting the cookies' I couldn't help but chuckle. Maybe it was the 8:30am Mondayness of the class. Maybe it was the lack of breakfast in my system. Maybe it was that something extra in the coffee, but every time he used a form of 'taste the cookies' (which he used often) my amusement grew. Finally, I had to put my head down and hide the uncontrollable laughter that stemmed from him stating that the purpose of the survey was 'to get customers to taste the cookies.'

Right now, I don't get it anymore. Did he even say 'taste the cookies'? Cuz that's not really funny. Maybe it was the repetition of it. I'm going to start using 'taste the cookies' as an analogy, and see how that works out. Analogy for what? I don't know, everything.

'It sure is cold outside.'
'Yeah, I can barely taste my cookies.'

'Leafs have a big game tonite'
'Oh man, they're gonna have to win if they wanna taste the cookies.'

'What size coffee can I get you?'
'I dunno, maybe it would be an easier decision if you let me taste your cookies.'

'Dude, hot chick, 3 o'clock.'
'I sure would like to taste her cookies.'

I can see it starting to get a tad sexual in use, but like all good slang phenomenons, it's all about tasting the cookies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sharks weekend report.

Well, they came away with the 3 points out of the four games, leaving them 2 points behind Vancouver for eight spot, and the Sharks have 3 games in hand.

The Sharks could have got all four points, but the game against Dallas was weird. The first thing Dallas put in the San Jose net was a player, he was kinda large and he sorta distracted (read: knocked over the Toskala)(did I spell that one right kenny?), allowing the Dallas shooter to put the cookie in the taster. I think the second goal Dallas scored was weak as well, but whatever, can't win them all.

Up next for the Sharks this week, a mini road trip. Tuesday in St. Louis, Thursday in Detroit, Saturday in Minnesota, Sunday in Chicago.

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Matt's a guy, and he pointed me to this next link and I'm blatantly posting a link to it because it's one of the greatest things I've ever heard. Trading, start with one red paper clip, and see where it gets you. This man is a hero to some, and he started blogging after I did, or so it appears, and he's gotten way more out of it than I have. And by way more, I mean tangible objects, I've gotten plenty of internet love.

Coming up next week: Blogger groupies. Where are you? Seriously. I've even got a term coined, bloggeroupies. Not the most creative, but please come and taste my cookies.

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Last, but not least. Congrats to the 4-time reigning CIS Mens Basketball champions, one of them might even be in one of my classes (see groupies, I'm even giving away the location of my school), the Carleton Ravens. When asked how it felt to win again the guy on the right said 'damn, those cookies taste sweet!'

you break my record, now i break you, like i break your friend

2006-03-18T09:31:00.000-05:00

Proud papa that he is, and considerate husband too, Nils Ekman.

Left wing Nils Ekman practiced with his teammates Friday morning after missing Thursday's 5-2 victory over St. Louis so he could be with his wife, Johanna, for the birth of their first child. Mother and son, Melvin, were doing fine, but Ekman wasn't able to watch the Sharks because Fox Sports Net was not available in the hospital's maternity wing.

``I watched the baby channel and `Bloodsport,' '' Ekman said, referring to the 1988 Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. ``I watched it with no sound so I didn't disturb Johanna.'' (David Pollack, The Mercury News).

So heading into a big weekend against Dallas today and Colorado tomorrow, the Sharks should try to come away with at least 2 points. Right now they're in tenth in the Western Conference, 3 points behind LA (in the eighth spot), with 3 games in hand. That doesn't factor in Anaheim, who is one point behind LA with one game in hand on LA. There are still too many games left to even begin to draw up first round match-ups in the NHL, so instead I present to you the Belgian Brawler.

Sharks have 18 games to play the rest of this season, with just over a month to go. That means a game at least every other day. The key is to stay healthy, with lots of energy, skate hard, play our game, try not to make the same mistakes that last period and come out strong the next one. And other cliched remarks.

One last thing, if you are a Sharks fan, and you happen to be around James Bay, and you happen to stop by Moose Factory, I advice you to share your feelings with someone there, more specifically, share your feelings about one Jonathan Cheechoo.

Joe Thornton. There, I managed to mention the Sharks whole first line in this post. And last week I got Nieminen, McCauley in Goc in one. Coming up next, Bernier, Marleau and Michalek and their impact on 21st century relations between North and South Korea, more specifically how that line managed to get the two countries to submit one team into the next World Cup of Soccer and why the Czech Republic and Slovakia should not follow suit in hockey (because they would win everything)(also, those countries very different from Korea in terms of political history, I'm just saying that a hockey team combining those two countries would seriously kick ass today, and that it's not so far fetched because at one point recently they would have been under one flag).

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umm... tv kills. . yeah. that's all that really can be said about that.

sing with me

2006-03-12T21:06:00.000-05:00

Music/sports video. Made by Pierre-Olivier Doyon. Music, Aerosmith, song, Dream on. Artist, Alexander Ovechkin.

crazy love child

2006-03-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

With their win over Nashville last night, Sharks now sit 5 points behind Edmonton with 2 games in hand, and 7 points behind Vancouver with 3 games in hand. The Ducks are sitting in 9th, with the same amount of games played as the Sharks but 3 more points on the year.

For a full report on the game, I suggest you go here to Sharkspage.

Instead of recapping the fight filled game, I borrow a sketch from Conan O'Brien. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the love child of Todd Bertuzzi and Chris Chelios......Keith Carney.

Alexander the Eight

2006-03-11T15:05:00.000-05:00

Alexander Ovechkin. Overtime, March 10 2006 against the New Jersey Devils.
Your mission, Mr. Ovechkin, should you choose to accept it, is a search and destroy. Here are your targets (note: some targets are duplicated to ensure elimination); White, Martin, Martin, White.

Gawd, what I would do to see this kid play in the playoffs. Hurry up and get good Washington.

he's baaaaack

2006-03-10T12:28:00.000-05:00

You think Doug Wilson has a short memory? This guy helped to kill the Sharks two years ago in the Western Conference Finals. Aquired from the Rangers for a 3rd round draft pick this year; in his first game in a Sharks uniform he tied for the team lead in hits. Ville Nieminen, welcome to the Western Conference playoff race. He started the game on the fourth line with McCauley and Parker, played more in the second, even replacing Ekman on the top line with J. Thornton and Cheechoo, and finished the game back with McCauley and Goc.

Oh yeah, San Jose won in regulation over Edmonton, 5-2. Edmonton had their new keeper in net and from the looks of things it wasn't as bad as the score appears. It was 2-2 heading into the third, but then San Jose decided to get some goals.

With 21 games to play (and two games in hand) the Sharks sit 10th in the conference and 6 points back of Edmonton. Edmonton made some of the biggest moves at the deadline, and with Vancouver going out and aquiring a NHL caliber defence core, it's tough to see who will drop out of the playoffs. Most likely result is that San Jose is going to have to earn that playoff spot by playing hard hitting hockey like they did last night.

Up next for the Sharks are the Nashville Predators, for an afternoon tilt on Saturday. Needless to say, for some teams on the outside looking in right now (i.e. Leafs, Sharks) the playoffs have started now.

On a personal note, I didn't hear a thing about Nieminen all year from New York and am interested to see what John Davidson has to say (if anything) about this trade this Saturday Night on the Satellite Hotstove. My feeling is that John Davidson is probably the best hockey mind on American television (he could be a GM), and as a reporter with the Rangers, he will have some good insight on possibly why the Rangers would part with such a key playoff performer in exchange for draft picks when they're in the playoffs themselves right now.

sharks report

2006-03-08T01:05:00.000-05:00

Anaheim is just one team the San Jose Sharks have to leap frog to make the playoffs
(AP Photo/Francis Specker)
There was a big game in the western conference tonite. I'm following the Sharks really closely from here on in till the end of the season. Here are my top ten reasons (not that I really need any) for doing it (in no particular order):
1)Had they not lost Sturm with a broken leg, they might have beat the Flames and made the Stanley Cup final against the Lightning a few years ago. Although I made tons of dough by betting on the Flames to win the Conference that year. I have a gambling problem when I lose, tons of friends when i win. Well, no, actually my friends tell me I get big headed when I win. It's a lose-lose situation I guess.
2)I got long odds on the Sharks winning the Western Conference, and if they make the playoffs it could be interesting.
3)I'm a Leaf fan, and although they did win tonite, I find that I can't objectively report on them and also I only get to really watch them on Saturday nights.
4)Sharks are a west-coast team and I usually don't go to bed early and I don't mind listening to the streaming audio of the games from nhl.com. I was listening tonite and the announcers were truly upset at the fact that they lost in overtime. "Nabakov makes the save, OH NO! Marleau put it into his own net." Not completely homers (although a few more listens will give a better analysis of that) but more along the lines of announcers truly caring for their team.
5)I've read somewhere that Neil Young has season tickets to them, and if they're good enough for Neil Young, then they're sure as hell good enough for me.
6)I'd like to see Joe Thornton do well. I find it intriguing that the top two picks from one draft year are playing on the same team (Marleau 1997).
7)This guy is probably better equipped than me to do it, but I have no problems finishing 5th in a race of 3.
8)I really hate studying for stats, but I really love reading baseball stats.
9)My xbox broke, and I've got time to kill.
10)I may have been wrong about the WBC being crappy, and even though MLB.tv won't let me watch the games that i've subscribed to (a pox on them until they fix my problem, I'm sure I'm high on their list of priorities. crap) I would like to be wrong more. It humbles me. Please, feel free to comment on my inadequacies.

So anyways. The Sharks lost a big game on the road, but they came away with a point. But now they go home for a 6 game homestand including two big games against teams they are chasing. Thursday Edmonton comes into town and Monday the Kings roll into town. I'll have more of an extensive report on Thursday.

time sucking machine

2006-03-07T23:56:00.000-05:00

i mean, it's not like you ordered a game from ea sports online and waited with baited breath until it got shipped and then were so excited when you started to play that you played all day the first day you got it and then some more the next day and you noticed that the game was choppy, but didn't think much of it, and by the third day your xbox decided to stop fucking working so now you're like a lost puppy wandering around wondering where home is because you have no home without your xbox and your new favourite baseball game is no more and so instead you surf the internet googling "why?" and "what did i do to deserve this?" and then you realize that there's nothing you can do because you have a modded xbox and it was ironic that a game that you bought legally would bring it to its knees and then you google "ironic" and curse the bitch that is alanis, and then you decide to download songs illegally because the straight and narrow got you nowhere and take out your frustration on anything and everything you can find all the time wondering, hoping, that life isn't all that ironic and perhaps it would be nice that you have all this time that you would have spent playing the brand new video game that you waited 2 weeks for to come in the mail and you felt like it was christmas when it did come and now you think that all that time waiting, anticipating, amounted to 2 days of fun and perhaps its time to get out of the house and deal with actual people and maybe you should try to see a sunset again because those things used to be nice.
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a good time as any for a Radiohead video. the acoustic version of creep done by low morale.

and we'll see you tomorrow night

2006-03-07T00:03:00.000-05:00

Kirby Puckett. 1960-2006

my Mom's favourite baseball player.

messin' around with the interweb

2006-03-06T14:46:00.000-05:00

ok, so the audio isn't the greatest but here's hoping that this works.
a video of wolf parade, live, playing the song i'll believe in anything.

that was fun, I might have to start making my own mix videos of songs and sports highlights. Speaking of sports.
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Here are some reasons why the World Baseball Classic will most likely not be as good as hyped.

1. Rules involving pitchers are as follows, a pitcher must:
-have at least four days rest after an outing of 50 or more pitches
-have at least one day of rest after an outing of 30-49 pitches
-have at least one day of rest after consecutive innings
Pitchers must also throw no more than:
-65 pitches per game in round one of the tournament;
-80 pitches per game in round two of the tournament; and
-95 pitches per game in the Semifinal and Final of the tournament.
-A pitcher may exceed the maximum per-game limits in order to complete a batter's plate appearance.
-If a pitcher is within 20 pitches of a prescribed limit at the beginning of an inning, the Game Operations Technical Committee will inform the head umpire, both managers and the ballpark public address announcer. The technical committee will immediately notify the head umpire when a pitcher has reached his limit set forth in the rules (which includes finishing a batter's plate appearance, if necessary). At that point the head umpire will inform the pitcher's manager who must remove the pitcher from the game immediately.

2. What happens if a team ends up getting blown out and has to use up alot of pitches? No worries, there is a mercy rule.

3. Game Operations Techical Committee?

4. Classic already? The Fall Classic I can believe, but the March Classic? Can this really compete with the playoff pushes in NBA and NHL, not to mention the NCAA tournament?

Basically, with the schedule they have set up, a team will be able to use a pitcher once in each round, with relievers able to be used more frequently, which isn't all that dissimilar from the regular season. However, and this has been done to death, the timing of this tournament sucks ass. Players, especially pitchers, are in no-way ready for full game intensity. Plus the other major sports are in full swing. Most likely the WBC will be a hit in every country except Canada, South Africa, U.S.A., Netherlands, Australia, and Italy.

Maybe baseball should copy the NHL and break for Olympics <-- That's a joke. I'm not quite sure which of those two evils the baseball GM's would prefer.

man down

2006-03-05T01:43:00.000-05:00

Missed 27 games trying not to have surgery on his wrist. If he had it he'd be back by now. Instead, he has to have surgery now, and is likely done for the season.

I know in Leaf nation this might be blasphemy, but thinking about this and the increasing possibility that the Leafs might not make the playoffs, I am reminded of the Coldplay song, Fix You.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

This next month could really suck.

the sky is falling

2006-03-04T21:05:00.000-05:00

Leafs fans on radio after losing to the Sabres had two major points.
1. Trade Sundin for major young superstar prospects.
2. Quinn should be fired. His fault and Olympics loss showed he is done as a coach.

Needless to say, I disagree with them.

How come no one has called in to comment on the sustained drop in price of chicken breasts? For the last month they've been running at sale prices at a few of the local grocery stores here in Ottawa, and my only conspiracy theory is that the if the bird flu virus hits, the farmers fear their stock of chicken will be worthless so they're getting rid of as many of them as quickly as possible.

I also think Felicity Huffman is going to win the Oscar for best female actress. Reasons being, she's a woman playing a man pretending to be a woman. Hilary Swank and Gwyneth Paltrow won for women playing men, I think Felicity just raised the bar. What did Reece Witherspoon play? The harpischord or something.

I should state that I have seen neither film, and am just judging based on those reasons and that I found 1:5 odds to bet on Felicity with (bet one, win 5) and only 4:5 on Reece. The other candidates aren't going to win. I hope.

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Why does Saturday Night live repeat sketches on new episodes?

more for me than you

2006-03-02T02:15:00.000-05:00

wake up.

finite time passing.

make a list of things to do with finite time. i.e. go to Wembley stadium and catch a concert/football match.

find the internal mental switch which creates that which puts me at ease.

learn to leave the past behind and put my head up to see the future.

learn how to see again. difference between looking and seeing. just because you look, doesn't mean you see.

Raptors lost to Atlanta at home in overtime. Forget playoffs, play for lottery now. Read a blog that was giving accolades to babcock for being like J.P. Riccardi of the Jays, saying that they both blew up the foundations. They did, the only difference was J.P. seemed to have a plan (i.e. stockpile arms in the minors) and you can't really stockpile youth as much in basketball so all babcock really did was blow up the team. I counted to ten, swore at the guy, and decided not to comment on his belief that babcock did anything noteworthy. It's not hard to dump salaries and contracts when there are people like isiah thomas out there.

what's really cool is being able to reach out in the dark and find a bottle of water. i was seeing something that I couldn't look for with my eyes.

I was hearing something that i couldn't believe was coming from my mouth.

I was reading a face on the street, a reflection of a lost soul wandering aimlessly through the shadows. It disappeared behind a street light and then the light went out.

i'm not overwhelmed, i'm underwhelmed and dauntless. the truth doesn't scare me because the truth is empty.

i study history, try to learn math. numbers and words. math has words, and words have numbers. only one number is spelled out in alphabetical order. forty.

i've lost the momentum for this evening.

Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.

questions

2006-03-01T06:26:00.000-05:00

why am I still awake?

oh yes. the work thing. I suck at school work. Well, not really, I'm pretty good at it, but at 6 am I suck at it.

plural in the title, means more than one.

hmm..

i totally had something interesting to say and then as soon as i started writing it disappeared. never fear, as soon as i go into the shower next it will come back to me.

I just remembered.

in between the bowel movements that bookend this thing called life, what more can we really ask than for some laughter?

peace out Mr. Furley.

Don Knotts 6/24/24-2/28/06

Congrats, Mats

2006-02-26T15:46:00.000-05:00

CP, Frank Gunn
"Sometimes hockey has no country"- Borje Salming

crap

2006-02-22T18:42:00.000-05:00

shit fuck balls. visors. fuck. IIHF rules. fuck. Interference calls. fuck. fuck quick whistles, fuck. passing to Heatley when you have an open net Richards fuck. defence can't break out pass fuck. Brodeur was the best. fuck. Ovechkin fuck. i'm now useless for the rest of the day and fuck. fuck non wooden sticks. every team plays with Canadian intensity in the olympics fuck.

fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

roomates who hate each other

2006-02-21T16:39:00.000-05:00

Marriages aside, this is what can happen when two people end up living together for a long time. It starts off as one person being irked by the loud chewing noises that the other makes. Years and years of that plus dirty dishes and pots that one has to clean before they use. Slowly but surely the tension builds until you find out one day that there is no toilet paper and then you take a sledgehammer to your roomate and he has his own quirks about you that he hates and he counters with a shotgun. Who will win? The person who can end it all with a pull of a trigger or the person who can use a sledgehammer to beat down (and out) their frustration?

Thanks to Bourque newswatch for the link.

Saturnine adj 1 : born under or influenced astrologically by the planet Saturn2 a : cold and steady in mood : slow to act or change b : of a gloomy or surly disposition c : having a sardonic aspect [a saturnine smile].

tweet, taxi!

2006-02-18T11:48:00.000-05:00

Someone call the Canadian Olympic team taxi squad and get me Eric Staal on the phone. We need to ask him the formula for kryptonite for Martin Gerber.

Perhaps some of the Team Canada brain trust should have gone to the Spengler Cup this past December.

Pronger just took a really stupid penalty. Stupid on every single level. On a very small scale could that be considered a penalty, but I'm not the ref here.

5 minutes to go, Canada down 2-0. Now the Canadian players won't stop moving their legs.

Also, I don't have to testify at the trial of the NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE OFFICER who was indicted for gambling.

Sports Illustrated (and other mainstream media outlets) owe Mr. Wayne Gretzky an official apology for wasting everyones time with the headlines accusing him in the mess that also included (incase you haven't heard) a NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE OFFICER. I pick on SI because they sent 3 people over to Torino to further investigate Gretzky's involvement in the gambling story that involved a NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE OFFICER.

Operation Slap shot my ass. James Harney, an eight-year veteran of the New Jersey state police. As this blog is proof of, just because someone writes something down and distrubutes it, doesn't make it or them credible. With the internet and our new digital ecosystem, I give newspapers a few more years until they go the down the same path that radio did when television came along.

Congratulations Team Switzerland on your victory over Canada. Did you know I have a keychain from your country even though I've never been there? Martin Gerber kicks ass.

Why do we fall Bruce? To learn how to pick ourselves up again.

beaver dam

2006-02-17T19:36:00.000-05:00

I'm wondering if I'm getting softer in my old age, or perhaps it's the absolutely ludicrous weather in Ottawa right now, but I just enjoyed a women's hockey game. First figure skating and now this. Anyways, nothing against chicks playing sports, but usually hockey has been pretty lobsided in favour of the North Americans.

And then the Americans ran into a dam, a beaver dam by the name of Kim Martin. A 19 year old goaltender from Sweden, who by now has probably received countless marriage proposals from Swedish men (sorta like Katarina Witt) even though those men might not know any more about her appearance than this.

REUTERS/Shaun Best

The Swedish team is young (#16 on that team is actually 16 years old), with a great goaltender, and nothing to lose in the gold medal game against Canada. Anyone who has followed the Swedish mens hockey team over the last 10-15 years, might find it ironic that a goalie was their best player.

Finally, in a note of self-promotion, I might want to point out that in this very blog I predicted that Sweden would do well in hockey this Olympics and even though I was talking about the mens team, I'm gonna check this one off as a correct prognostication.

olympic thoughts

2006-02-16T14:19:00.000-05:00

Some musings while watching Canada play Germany in Olympic round robin hockey. Sakic just scored (from Bertuzzi and Nash) on the powerplay, and it's 2-0 Canada.

-I can't believe Sweden lost 5-0 to the Russians, after the Russians lost to the Slovaks. Perhaps parody is setting in.

-It took seven seasons, but I finally won the Super Bowl with my fantasy drafted Chargers. Although my friend Kenny was able to move his fantasy drafted Raiders to Toronto in the off season, so I'm not sure who is the winner. Is it the video game citizens of San Diego, the video game citizens of Toronto or all the women who got peace and quiet instead of 70+ hours of conversations with us filled with witty anecdotes about our video game filled lives? Yes, it takes over 10 hours to play a season and we're in season seven. And we're just getting started.

-3 to zero Canada, Gagne just scored.

-The day you turn your oven on to pre-heat and your eyes start stinging is the day before the day you have to clean your oven.

-Gillette Fusion. 6 blades. 5 on one side. I'm just curious now to see how many blades they can fit on a razor now. Personally, I'm going to buy one of those old fashioned brushes to apply shaving cream, a rock, and a single blade (like barbers use). And a rock. I'm going to sharpen the blade on the rock, and watch civilization build a razor with so many blades that it will come with a decapitation warning.

-Speaking of grooming, did you ever wake up and say "I think today I should brush my teeth?" Mothers and people in the dental industry everywhere just cringed. I'm just kidding, but not really. I bet lots of people do that, and most are single guys or guys in college. We're like hamsters; we like to keep food around in our mouths for later.

-I came up with most of these thoughts in the shower, which made me come up with another thought. I realized that if someone ever invented a waterproof, wireless, laptop, it would be a huge seller. There you go engineers, a gift of a million dollar idea.

-Ever blow your nose so hard that you end up farting?

-Having a pretty woman ask me if I'm interested in a fish taco just before showing me a platter of tacos filled with fish is akin to having her say "I need another hand for this job." Perception is filled with filters, and yes I do realize that I may have just come across as objectifying women as sexual objects. Before you ladies get too mad, remember that I've spent a good portion of the last month playing a football video game, and its not even football season.

-I'm hungry.

crash monday

2006-02-13T16:43:00.000-05:00

6 lugers, 4 skiers, 2 speed skaters went down today in Italy. Some badly, too badly to continue. And some put on the Olympic spirit. Like this pair of figure skaters.

Hao Zhang and Dan Zhang

I once said figure skating wasn't a sport because of the judging element. As I type this I'm witnessing a young pair of chinese figure skaters and the ladies name is Dan Zhang. She missed a landing on what I think was a quad toss (?) and spread eagled the landing, probably busting up one of her knees. They stopped the program, stopped the music, I was sure it was over. 5 minutes later she decided to continue the program, and her partner Hao Zhang is going to throw her again. This is an unbelievable display of heart. Figure skating. I never thought it could.

And they won the silver medal.

Olympics kick ass.

note to self

2006-02-13T13:47:00.000-05:00

next time get the nightime, drowsy medication. on the plus side, olympics on CBC. so I can watch the best physical atheletes in the world while I sit here crippled by sinus. It didn't help my self-esteem when the Herminater skiied yesterday with a major flu and was doubled over at the end of the downhill and I was too 'sick' to boil water.

i have a cold

2006-02-12T23:09:00.000-05:00

Self medicating involves not paying attention to stupid people, because my patience is worn thin with this congestion. With no other outlet for the frustration caused by stupidity, due to beeing cooped up in the apartment with a cold, I tend to judge more so than normal. And I yell at the computer screen when stupid things are presented. Much like you might be doing right now. But something has been building for the past week and I just snapped. Right there, just did it. Here is the literal translation of my anger.

Gretzky is innocent. Any Canadian who even slightly insinuates that he should not go to the Olympics because of gambling allegations should do us all a favour and jump off the 15th floor of the closest building they can find. Quick, go. Jump.
(Photo: REUTERS/Finbarr O'Reilly)

Other goings on recently, asides from blatent stupidity prevailing, is a coincidence where the latest NHL general managers meeting took place in...

Las Vegas.

ouch. bad timing.

Band: Wolf Parade (recommended by a friend who I should give thanks to, thanks kenny). Song: I'll believe in anything. Great song.

because nobody knows you, and nobody gives a damn either way.

soccer, north american style

2006-02-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

Here's a heads up to NHL coaches everywhere. Get yourself an acting coach. Teach your players how to act on skates. I don't mean disney on ice; I mean fool the refs into calling stupid penalties. It's perfect, once your players can fake without being caught for diving, your team will get numerous 5-3 advantages and be able to score almost at will.

Even if your team is the Pittsburgh Penguins, 3 weeks with this acting coach will have the refs in your back pocket. Coincidently, the Olympic break is coming up, so we're offering a crash course over that time. You'll get three weeks worth of instruction in one and a half.

Seriously, the only major sporting officials who aren't under my ire right now are those who can pinpoint locations of objects that travel upwards of 90 miles per hour. Basketball, Fooball and Ice Hockey are just a joke.

feign 1 a : to give a false appearance of : induce as a false impression [feign death] b : to assert as if true : pretend
2 archaic a : invent, imagine b : to give fictional representation to

I think I should just go to bed and tomorrown 'm going to wake up, and call a do-over on today.

another mystery solved

2006-02-08T20:09:00.000-05:00

Napoleon. What was with the hand in the jacket dude? Well, I think I may have solved the mystery of why he put his hand inside his coat today. I caught myself doing the exact same thing, and for some reason I thought of Napoleon.

I know you're on pins and needles, so I'll get to it.

You see, Napoleon used to have a discman, and he would put the cord up through inside his jacket. He had a defective one and with discman's being rare (ipods rarer still), he couldn't exchange it. Back in those days you had to be an emperor to own technology that wasn't going to be invented for a couple of centuries. Anyways, he got the first discman to ever come out in France, and wouldn't you know it? The earphones were sketchy. So, in order to keep music pumping through them, he had to hold his earphones in a very certain way. And that happened to involve his hand being in his jacket.

Ergo sum, he put his hand in his jacket, holding the earphones, pumping through the tunes that got him through those days. We all have had those days when you wish that the music in your ears was all there was. Rock on Napoleon.

nothing left to see

2006-02-08T02:18:00.000-05:00

Staring into the darkest of lights, a computer screen in the middle of the night. Waiting for a file to download. Wondering if Radiohead will come out with another album, and where it will take me. I'm thinking this one will be done, (to borrow a phrase from their song 'gagging order') just to take the edge off.

It's so cold here, but not really. It has been colder in the past, and probably will be in the future. Nevertheless, CBC's weather page doesn't list a high for tomorrow. It lists a low of -17, but they're not even bothering to list a high. Which is a good thing, because you don't dress for the 5 minutes during the day when it might reach -13.

99.6% done.

Doris Day and Bing Crosby put it best.

I really can't stay!
(But baby its cold outside!)
I've got to go away!
(But baby its cold outside!)

the defence rests

2006-02-07T13:50:00.000-05:00

A player will be ruled in bounds if he touches the pylon at the goal line before going out of bounds. For example, a pass would be considered complete if one foot touches the pylon and the other foot is in bounds.

AP Photo Mark Humphrey

Tell me it was the wind in Ford Field that moved the pylon and not Darrell Jackson's right leg before it touched out of bounds.

After this play, Hasselbeck turned to the official and the camera showed him mouthing the words "what's going on?" to the ref. What was going on, NFL?

A question is, after the blown Rothlesberger touchdown, did Seattle have any challenges left to challenge the play?

Madden also said during the game that "sometimes you think you see something when it's not really there" (he was referring to a call made by an official against Seattle). I would call that bias.

imagination takes over study time

2006-02-03T17:48:00.000-05:00

On some airlines, they offer complementary beer. Now, say I was travelling to a foreign country, and started consuming copious amounts of alcohol to make the time go by drunker. This is what happens.

Customs Agent: Passport please.
Me: Here you go. What's the cover in this country? In Canadian dollars please. I'm Canadian.
Agent: That's wonderful. (looks at what was handed to him) Sir, this is your drivers license.
Me: Oh sorry. Yeah. Hooo. It's kinda bright in here isn't it?
Agent: May I see your passport sir.
Me: Oh yeah, sorry man, I carry one of those belt thingies to keep stuff safe. One sec. (Proceeds to undoe belt and drop pants instead of taking off passport belt. Then hands the belt to the agent). It's in there.
Agent: This is your belt for your pants. Sir, please pull up your pants.
Me: (looks down). I see. (Looks back up).
Agent: (Hands belt back to me).
Me: Ah thankya. (Takes off passport belt this time and gives it to the agent. Reaches down to do up pants and falls. Decides to put pants on while on the ground).
Agent: Are you here on business or pleasure? (Looks up from passport to see no one there). Sir?
Me: (from the ground) Business.
Agent: Please get up sir. Thank you. State your business.
Me: Gimmiesomewater.
Agent: I'm sorry?
Me: My first order of b-hizness is to get some water. And then some pizza. Where's good pizza? I need a cigarette.
Agent: You can try the airport cafeteria.
Me: Fan-fucking-tastic. That is so, oh man, you have no idea how clutch it is for the airport to have a cafeteria. Man, in Canada, you can't even smoke inside anywhere man, any-fucking-where. Such a gip.
Agent: Your welcome sir. One last thing before we let you go, do you have anything to declare?
Me: I'm drunk.

what's the quota?

2006-01-28T20:42:00.000-05:00

It's the end of the month and the officiating in the NHL is getting worse. That must mean that there is a quota of penalties called that a referee has to reach each month.

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
Sidney Crosby sits alone in the penalty box in a game against the Islanders. The NHL is looking into expanding the Penalty Box seating area to accommodate the addiction to penalty calling their officials have. Also on the agenda is the proposal for adding a 2 minute minor penalty for exhaling, that is when a player breathes, and the force of that breath knocks down an opposing player.

Watching the Leafs-Habs game and holy crap are the penalties bad. The officiating has transformed the game into Falcon Beach on ice.

I don't know what that means either.

What it means is that I've taken shits, wiped my ass, and come up with better dialogue on the remnants of my toilet paper than the writing on this show.

Seriously, Falcon Beach sucks, and so does the officiating in the Leafs Habs game.

Although the Falcon Beach has a concept of Party Girls which is kinda cool. Not as good as the Arrested Development idea of Girls with Low Self Esteem though.

I found my dictionary.

Interdict transitive verb 1 : to lay under or prohibit by an interdict
2 : to forbid in a usually formal or authoritative manner
3 : to destroy, damage, or cut off (as an enemy line of supply) by firepower to stop or hamper an enemy

what's in a name?

2006-01-27T17:35:00.000-05:00

Today the Deviled Eggs Society went against its own constitution to announce the end of their previous handle. Citing numerous focus group studies, they have come to the conclusion that the dish known as 'deviled eggs' is dropping the word 'deviled' from its name.

An 18th century term meaning spicy, the word deviled has been found to be harming the production of the tastily spicy cold eggs dish. "People would just boil eggs and eat them and not wait for them to get cold, fearing that they would be selling their souls for the tasty treat" said Admishin Farnstinoggle, the president of the Deviled Eggs Fan Society. "So we decided that if we stopped calling them deviled eggs, and just went with 'eggs' or 'coldy treatertons' or even 'somma dem spicy eggs', more people would eat them."

Same cold eggs, different name. Our children are the better for it.

babcock fired

2006-01-26T14:22:00.000-05:00

"In hindsight, we should have gotten someone more proven." -Richard Peddie, President and CEO of MLSE January 26, 2006.

Now that he's gone, lets go ahead and speak ill of the dead. When you are going to trade for players, it might be in your best interest to talk to them yourself and see where they are. If the team you're trading with won't let you talk to the players involved in the trade don't do it. The last thing you want to do is trade for a guy, trade your most marketable guy for that guy, and have that guy not want to play for your team.

It's not rocket science, it's called good business. It's totally Babcocks fault that he traded a guy who didn't want to play for the Raptors for a bunch of guys including another one who didn't want to play for the Raptors. Actually, I think the count is up to two now with Eric Williams reportidly demanding a trade a few weeks ago.

Raptors up by 14 at the half.....

2006-01-23T03:19:00.000-05:00

and then Kobe decided to show up.

Yeah. So the Raptors lost because of one man. You might hear about how this goes to show how selfish he is, or how ruthless he is. What cannot be disputed are the simple facts. 81 points. And, as a Raptor fan, it's just humbling and awe inspiring to see this occur. I'd much rather see a Kobe drop 81 than a Leafs drop a 7-0.

Mamba. You seriously rule. Congratulations. Even Jordan hasn't done what you just did. For all the shit that might be thrown your way, you are one hell of a basketball player.

Seriously folks, I don't even care about the loss. Bravo, well done.

Remember when he had 63 points by the third earlier this season and quit because the Lakers were winning? This is what he can do when he needs to.

Now I'm going to swear. Holy fucking shit. Pardon my French, I'm a little drunk.

Don't forget to vote. VOTE! Seriously, 81 points and vote.

and now we go live to our correspondent on the scene

2006-01-21T22:40:00.000-05:00

So I just got back from the 7-0 Ottawa beating of Toronto. I'm here with my buddy Mike and we both have a few things to say about tonites game. I'm going first, because I am.

Me: Ok, first of all, most fans ever (apparently) at a hockey game tonite 20,093. Lots of Blue and White in the stands. I start a "go Leafs go" chant off the puck drop, and by my third go, the sens have scored. Things do not look good.

They didn't get better. Leafs lost, Belfour was left out to dry by Quinn, I lost my voice by the second period. I hate Spezza. Kid's got talent, but he's a prima-donna. I really don't like his attitude. He's going to get his clock cleaned one of these days. I come to the realization that I will bet on Sweden to win the Gold medal at the Olympics.

That's all from me, I think Mike has something to say. Go Mike.

Mike: Wow, I'm actually saying something here that's not anonymous. I feel so important. Thank you Hoss... err Hossim. Well, first of all, by letting Eddie come out to play the second period after the way the Leafs played in front of him in the first Quinn was basically slapping hall of famer Eddie Belfour in the face. But when he let him come out to play the third, he was pissing in his face. Yes that's right, PAT QUINN PISSED IN THE FACE OF EDDIE BELFOUR. Secondly, the sens fans suck, they're not even fans, I view them all as bandwagon jumpers. As soon as the Sens current winning era is over, they'er going to lose their team, mark my words. In Montreal, I feel a true rivalry, the fans are more passionate and seem to have more fun. With sens fans it's like they have some inferiority complex, it's like a younger brother beating an older brother at something, the younger brother is careful not to boast too much or rub it in the older brothers face because he knows that in the long run he'll get his. And in the long run, Ottawa will get theirs... that being the Sacremento Senators... you heard it here first. Thirdly, I'm going out to party now... woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

life as a video game

2006-01-17T15:59:00.000-05:00

Ever play video games? I do. Mostly I play sporting games. Currently here are the games I play; College Hoops 2k6, NHL 2006, MVP Baseball 2005, Madden 2006. Usually I take a team and play in franchise mode. Owning the team, and getting to play at the same time. Sometimes, rarely, I create a player with my name and assign attributes that I think I would have if I were an athelete. Sometimes I make a perfect player, one who is the fastest, strongest and most talented.

I do this in my fantasy universe, and then this guy comes out and steals my idea. This guy decides to come out and do it in real life. This guy decides to be a hockey player. This guy decides to be unbelievably talented with special cheat codes that allow him to score goals on his back while not facing the net. Who is this guy?

(AP Photo/Paul Connors)

Umm....yeah. Monday January 16, 2005. Phoenix Coyotes versus Washington Capitals. 5-1. 11:54 of the third period. The Great One coaching the visiting squad. Later, Gretzky would say (of Ovechkin's goal) "that was pretty sweet... you know, he's a phenomenal player, and he's been a tremendous influence in the game. It's great to see, because he is that good." (AP)

If you want to catch a clip of what I'm talking about, go to http://mirtle.blogspot.com/2006/01/ovechkin-t-800.html and click on the first link.

Thanks James.

As a side, watch the reaction of Boyd Gordon after Ovechkin puts it in the net. He's the Capital who sped down the ice with Ovechkin and had the best vantage of the puck going into the net. Boyd looked like a 3rd wheel on a hot date. After the puck went in I think he just did a lighting-fast life evaluation and came to the conclusion that as good as he ever thought he was, he would never be nearly as good as Ovechkin. Perhaps he thought "I'm not really needed here, is anyone really needed here?" I'm going to spend most of my time in my STATS class tonite coming up with different thoughts that may have passed through Boyd's head while standing at the side of the Phoenix net.

Here's one more. "Would it really have been that bad if I touched the puck before it went in the net?"

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As a hockey fan I should just note that I heard from two radio sources (Team 1200 and CBC radio 1) about the Anaheim Mighty Ducks today. They played in Boston yesterday and don't play again until Thursday here in Ottawa. They've got some time, so they spent some this morning on the Rideau Canal playing hockey. I don't know why, and frankly don't want to know why, but hearing that a professional hockey team was playing some shinny with kids just makes my day.

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I'm adding Off Wing opinion to my links because Eric McErlain who writes there knows what he's talking about. Plus he's in Washington and I take back what I said about moving the Caps away from there. I would never wish that on a hockey fan, not even here in Ottawa.

I'm also going to the Leafs-Sens game this Saturday and am very excited about that. I'm going to be "one of those guys", loud, possibly intoxicated, and wearing a Leaf jersey.

Go Leafs Go.

go figure

2006-01-11T01:25:00.000-05:00

Raptors hired Gene Keady on December 9, 2005. In just over a month since his hiring, the team has gone 8-8. I'd say that's a good thing. Team seems to be able to distributed the ball better on offence, but the defence is still slightly suspect. To wit, last night against the Bulls, Raptors started the game 7-7 from the field and still were only up by 5 points.

Things are looking up in Raptor land. The team sure does seem to be jelling. Anyways, here's something Gene Keady did 5 years ago on David Letterman.

Top Ten Purdue University Basketball Head Coach Gene Keady Tips For Looking Your Best

10. Shake head violently. If a single hair moves--keep spraying.

9. You can find some snazzy ties in the stadium lost and found.

8. Always comb with the grain, not against it.

7. Yelling at players makes your face purple -- that's sort of like having a tan.

6. Tight pants highlight the fact you're a member of the "Big Ten."

5. Don't be one of those guys with hair plugs -- I mean, who do they think they're fooling?

4. I live by one simple rule--try to look better than Dick Vitale.

3. On special occasions, I like to use a little eyeliner.

2. Never, under any circumstance, go to Letterman's barber.

1. Forget "six-pack" abs...just go for the six-pack.

[applause]

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Watched one hell of a hockey game tonite between the Leafs and the Canucks. Leafs dominated the Canucks in the third period, but still lost 4-3. Steen scored one hell of a goal on a backhand on a breakaway against Auld, and seemed to be playing with some passion, when he was holding onto his stick that is. Domi is paired with Sundin, who got a lot more icetime tonite then usual 22:37 (his average this year is 19:24). But he didn't lead the Leafs forwards, that goes to Mr. Steen who pulled off 23:17. Big man on the night for time was no suprise. No McCabe means 31:49 for Kaberle.

Notable offences on the evening go to the Vancouver fans where music was played and then instead of saying "charge" or "go Canucks" they were chanting "Leafs suck." Which seems to be the trend for the Leafs on the road. It seems that the 5000 or so Leafs fans on the road are louder then the 18000 they pack at home, in terms of cheering for the Leafs. I went to a Leafs-Habs game in November and at least the Montreal fans had the decency to try and drownout the "go Leafs go" chant with a "go Habs go" one. In some stadiums (like Vancouver) the home fans just drown the chant with boos.

Like Reggie Jackson once famously stated, "fans don't boo nobody's".

Encomium n : glowing and warmly enthusiastic praise; also : an expression of this

boo

2006-01-06T14:50:00.000-05:00

Guess who comes back to town tonite?

(AFP/Getty Images/File)

Ex-Magic, ex-Raptor. The one man wrecking crew. He'll end up ruining something, whether it's his own team or the team he's playing against. Kids these days, who knows the value of team? Canada Junior team

So here's the deal. Toronto has to be near the top of booing crowds in the world. This is not a judgement on the people, strictly an observation. Heck, even I've gone to Raptor games and booed Stoudamire, Carter, and McGrady everytime they touched the ball. Rob Babcock has been spotted on TV wearing earplugs for home games. I've only been to one game this year (thanks to a good man named Ross) and, well, I was pretty drunk so I don't remember if anyone was booing Babcock. People do hold up signs though. Maybe he should wear horseblinders. To his credit, I saw him on TV during the last game, I mean ant-stomping, of the Magic without the plugs. Rob, people (like me) who disrespect you and some people who shout at you and call you things like "Raptor Killer" are in the same boat as you. We all want the team to do well, and when we're mad, we're not exactly yes-men. Stand up for yourself and keep the earplugs out, at least while the camera's are on you. I saw you on "Off-the-Record" with Michael Landsberg and you sat there and did well.

Back to the boo-birds in TO. We got Alomar pretty good after he left, and man oh man did the Toronto fans give it to Raffy Palmeiro last year. Booed so loud that earplugs weren't enough, he had to tape them on and stuff them with cotton as the game went on. If Rose and Jackson aren't in the Hall buddy, neither are you. Numbers can be overshadowed. Maybe you should advertise for your inclusion, on a spot that might never be filled (check raffy25(dot)com top banner).

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Back to Basketball, the Raptors are only 3.5 games behind the Magic and the Celtics for the last playoff spot in the east. A boy can dream can't he? Speaking of dreams, I dream't that the Sacramento Kings were either in, or won the NBA championship. Ummm....yeah, that's not going to happen.

Raptors play the Rockets tonite, Nets on Sunday, and Bulls on Monday, Bobcats on Wednesday. 4 games in 6 days. And then it begins. Between January 15th and 29th (two weeks) the Raptors play NINE (!) games. Including what is traditionally known as a scheduling "perk". Perk my ass. After hosting the Knicks on the 15th (which is 4 days after their previous HOME game against Bobcats) the Raptors go to Utah to play two nights later, Portland the following night, Seattle two days later, Lakers two days later, Denver the next night and then back to Toronto to host the Bulls two days later. Ugh. That's an 7 game stint in 10 days sandwiched by two home games and filled in with a little 5 games-in-a-week western road trip (!). Double ugh.

So yeah. Talk about testing your mettle. Good luck boys.

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Speaking of Western Road trips, the Leafs are on one too. Best divisions in hockey meet this year (Northwest and Northeast). You know what's frustrating? Growing up with a simple Norris, Smythe, Adams and crap, I forget the 4th one right now. Well, I still haven't gotten my head around the new NHL division allocations, alls I know is the best teams should, and do, play in the Northern divisions. Anyways, the worst team in the Northwest is the Wild, and a quick glance shows that they have as many points as the Habs who are 4th in the Northeast. It's been a few years (thanks to the lockout) that we've seen the Flames, Oil and Canucks and it will be the last for a few more years (barring Stanley Cup final matchups and preseason) so enjoy.

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Going for the Grand Slam of sports- blogging (all four major sports) in one post. NFL football playoffs.

Lets see, a Sunday a few weeks ago I was flipping by a high scoring game and I had no interest in stopping to watch. It was the Bucs-Skins. Lucky me, they play again on Saturday. I'll probably watch Hockey Day in Canada as the winner of this game won't get passed the second round.
Prediction: Habs 5 Sens 3 (they play at 2, it's hockey DAY).

Gawd damnit Cartman, you are such a fat ass. You went and scheduled the Leafs-Oilers on Hockey day in Canada at the same time as the ONLY playoff game I really want to watch. Jags-Pats. I like the Jags but have come to the conclusion to never, ever bet against the Patriots with Coach and Brady. Which means naturally that they'll find some way to tie.
Prediction: no flipping channels between 7-8 that night, and then massive channel flipping between 8-9:45, and slight channel flipping between 10-11:30 (Canucks-Flames). Leafs win, Pats win. Pats-Indy second round. It would be no other way.

Carolina-New York. This one time, I lost a chip, but didn't know it. A few days later I found it under the cushions when I was looking for my phone. It wasn't as crispy, but it still had its flavour. I am telling you this because I have no football dialogue to contribute to this game. I can't even start a sentence to analyze it.
Prediction: It might rain, that makes the field slippery and the Giants kicker missed a couple of clutch field goals against Seattle. My Carlos Delgado bobblehead doll agrees with me.

Pittsburgh-Cincinnati. Um, another toss up. Cincinnati can't stop the run, and Pittsburgh can run. Cincinnati can really throw the ball well.
Prediction: Might be the best game of the weekend and I will probably have no money left to bet on this one.

Have fun, bet a little, and yeah. Go Leafs/Raptors Go.

just who is watching?

2006-01-05T14:05:00.000-05:00

Half way through the NHL season, and the race for Phil Kessel is on. From watching a few USA games at the world juniors, I haven't seen too much from the kid that solidifies number 1 draft pick status, but he is still filling out and should make a nice line partner with Rick Nash. It would be nice for him to go to Columbus.

So, lets see how the new NHL is doing. Today, we check on you, the fans. Some idiosyncrasies that have been found by checking the files. Attendence notes. I'll do them in the form of percentages because stadium capacities vary.

Home
Top 5
1. Calgary 112.4%
2. Ottawa 105.3%
3. Tampa Bay 104.6%
4. Toronto 103.1%
5. Minnesota 102.9%

Bottom 5
26. Carolina 77.5%
27. St. Louis 74.0%
28. New Jersey 72.5%
29. Chicago 71.6%
30. Washington 68.7%

Notes: Vancouver, Philadelphia, Detroit, Montreal and Colorado also have 100% capacity so far.

Road
Top 5
1. Vancouver 100.7%
2. Detroit 97.8%
3. Philadelphia 96.4%
3. Colorado 96.4%
5. Montreal 96.3%

Bottom 5
26. Nashville 86.7%
27. Columbus 86.5%
28. Washington 85.6%
29. Atlanta 85.1%
30. Tampa Bay 80.1%

Notes: Umm... yeah. So the defending Stanley Cup champions are the worst draw in hockey, by a fair margin? Maybe the NHL needs to keep running those 'My NHL' ads during hockey games, and only during games. In fact, I don't think I've seen a 'My NHL' ad that has not been either on a sports network or during the game. Perhaps I should to follow the NHL policy and officially promote my blog, on my blog. I'll use numbers to pad my stats like when people are reading my blog, 100% of them are reading my blog and 50% of them are my mom (Hello Amma, I'm still alive).

While I'm off on this, it's stupid like that whole thing about fans not leaving the stands during the shootouts. Well, duh. Getting them to not leave their seats should not be their problem, getting them into those seats should be. And when the defending champions are not enough to draw fans into the seats, well. Arg, my anger is akin to hunger anger. In fact, I probably do need to eat (Don't worry Amma, I'm eating well). Lets just move on

Overall
Top 5
1. Calgary 103.0%
2. Vancouver 100.9%
3. Detroit 99.0%
4. Philadelphia 98.7%
5. Ottawa 98.2%
5. Colorado 98.2%

Bottom 5
26. Atlanta 83.6%
27. New Jersey 82.5%
28. Chicago 81.4%
29. St. Louis 80.8%
30. Washington 76.9%

Notes: Washington might have the most exciting player this year on their team and very few people go to see him. I saw him do an interview on TSN last night between periods and he's not so eloquent with his english (perhaps slighty more so than myself) and yet looking at him I can't help but feel that he needs to be traded to a new city. In fact, they should trade the Manitoba Moose for the Washington Capitals.

Overall Notes: If I were to ask you which teams get a better draw on the road than at home you'd probably guess quite easily. Washington qualifies because no-one goes, but there are 12 (!) others who also draw better (percentage wise) on the road than they do at home. Almost half the league is a better draw on the road, which goes to show that those who watch, watch a lot. My NHL, best ad campaign ever.

Anyways, the answer(s) would be Boston, Phoenix, Buffalo, New Jersey, Carolina, Anaheim, NY Islanders, Chicago, St. Louis, Florida, Nashville, Washington, Atlanta all draw better on the road than they do at home.

Millen Man March

2005-12-17T16:44:00.000-05:00

Well news out of Detroit is mutinous. It's crazy. First, the fans have the Millen Man March prepared for the tailgate party before tomorrows game against the Bengals. No doubt it's a protest. Secondly, and this is completely crazy, another protest has people being asked to show up in Bengal orange and black and to cheer for the Bengals.

I can't believe they might do that. Detroit people, follow hockey. You've got Zetterberg, Datsyuk. Hell, the Pistons are kicking serious ass this year too. What are they, 17-3 now? Leave the Lions alone.
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As a Leafs fan, I have no idea what to expect in tonites game against the Sens. I'm going to sit in my apartment wearing my jersey and clinching my teeth while yelling at the tv. Unbiasedly, I predict a 5-4 win for the Leafs. Seriously.

toasters that kill

2005-12-16T11:32:00.000-05:00

There are certain things that people just know without experience. For example; putting ones penis in a toaster and then turning it on. I don't need to try that out to know it wouldn't be pleasant. Or putting my penis in a sandwich maker, waffle maker, George Forman grill and then turning it on. I don't need to try it to know it wouldn't be a pleasurable experience. If you're having trouble imagining what I'm saying, here's a picture of a toaster to help you out.

And now you must be wondering why I'm talking about inserting my penis into inanimate kitchen appliances. Good question. My answer to that is, its gotta go somewhere, right?

Speaking of which. What exactly did King Kong want to do with that girl? I mean, he would ruin her. I'm trying to picture how it would work, but it's kinda difficult. It's because he's huge and she's not. And isn't the whole King Kong thing a twisted version of bestiality? This isn't like breeding dogs people. It's about a 25-foot Gorilla trying to have a relationship with a 5 foot 6 inch female human. It's time to play matchmaker. King Kong, do I have a girl for you.

Everybody needs somebody to love.

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So I was watching the Red Wings Panthers game last night. What is up? Panthers beating the Red Wings? After beating the Predators? These teams probably don't see each other enough. Or the Panthers are much better than they're letting on.

Anyways. How would you like to be an NHL GM and come up with these stats from a guy you drafted in the 6th round, 171 overall in 1998?

GP G A Pts +/- PIM Shots
32 12 24 36 +10 6 63

Or how about these numbers from a guy in the 7th round, 210 overall in 1999?

GP G A Pts +/- PIM Shots
32 15 18 33 +5 12 108

Talk about late round picks coming to fruition. Detroit, you might have Matt Millen, but you also have Ken Holland. If you don't know, now you know.

a priori adj 1 : characterized by or derived by reasoning from self-evident propositions 2 : independent of experience.

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What is a Hoss? A term that refers to a male partaking in something to the fullest enjoyment. i.e. someone who goes into a store and buys a gallon of milk and a bottle of chocolate syrup with the intention of drinking the entire thing in one sitting is a serious hoss.