Sunday, July 22, 2007


In another day, another time
This identity which i take,
Cannot be called mine.

I arose from a clouded slumber,
my peacefulness disturbed
By news I had not heard.

Are my thoughts and actions guided?
Should my selfishness be chided?

It came at once,
At all to fast,
My spirit could not spare,
The hole which had been dug.

One text, one call,
One breath that i didn't stall
She said I wasn't there,
so she couldn't give me a hug.

It is one thing to be a victim of senseless violence,
But how can one explain a sudden youth silenced?

These days my spirit pondered,
God's existence I wondered.
At times I may have thought,
well, maybe?
Now, lately,
I sit in not that lot.

What happens when one ceases to have a thought?
Will internal good and evil then have no longer fought?

Perhaps you will consider this blasphemy,
I instead consider it rich irony.

God's existence or power
are thumb-twiddling questions for the vain,
But a single human soul is
to large for the universe to contain.

Apologies for the crappy rhyming. Pain numbs many things.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

holistic hockey hunches

Maybe I'm a sucker for high draft picks cheap. I have not done any number crunching, so I don't know if there is room, but heck, I'd like to see Patrick Stefan on the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Here's why. He's Czech. So are Jiri Tlusty, Pavel Kubina and Tomas Kaberle. That's about it, the influence of his fellow countrymen. Maybe Stefan could be good too. Could sign him to a one year contract for under a million dollars.

Perhaps it makes no sense. Just throwing it out there as an idea. So JFJ, if you're reading, maybe give Stefan a call, a little 'howyadoin?'

Maybe playing with Mats could be a selling point. One thing that I definitely don't know about is what the players say between themselves. That being said, neither does anyone else who isn't a player (or close to one). So I'm going to go out on a short limb here and say that Mats Sundin is one of the most Respected players in the NHL, and as Toskala mentioned, perhaps one people will sign with the Leafs to play with. He is the Leader (nananananananana leader, leader, Batman) and should have haiku's written in his honour. That will be my task for the week, haiku's for Mats. Like these:

Oh fearless leader,
Thou art a moose on the ice,
With antlers hidden.

Big Swede with sweet stride,
Slapshot and defence like Thor,
But without the beard


Second point of the day comes to this highlight of Nikolai Kulemin that my friend Kenny sent me. He's a 2nd round pick (44th overall) from the 2006 draft and was signed to a 3 year deal with the Leafs which (I assume) takes affect after this 2007-2008 season where he is signed with the Metallurg Magnitogorsk hockey club in the Russian Super League.

Here's a highlight reel of some of his skills. Big Props to MuscleBob for putting it together.

Monday, July 09, 2007

the tarp is falling

Chicken little, I mean the Colorado Rockies, were safely tucked away in their clubhouse as their opponents and the umpires took to the field to help the Rockies own personal. What does this have to do with anything? Well I'm glad I traded Todd Helton in my fantasy pool, and I'm glad I held on to (as Ryan calls him) Shane Victoriorio.

when your opponent is history

I don't mean that figuratively. When one is playing well, beyond well, and the only players one matches up against are those from that sport's great past; one plays against history more than the man across the court.

Roger Federer knows Rafael Nadal is catching up. It showed yesterday during the Wimbledon final. In the 4th set Federer began to lose his cool, in a way not seen since his younger days. But Nadal took some injury time during that 4th set. And Federer sat there, used that time to gather his composure and focus. Federer was down 4-0 in that set but had a 2-1 set advantage. Unless Nadal couldn't stand up, the match was going to 5 sets.

In the 5th set, Federer seemed to be distracted, trailing 15-40 tied at one game apiece. But he channeled his wandering mind and returned to take the game to deuce and win with four straight points.

Again at 2-2 in the 5th set, again trailing 15-40, he came back to take it to deuce and win the game with another 4 straight points.

That seemed to be it for Nadal. He had Federer ready to be broken at 15-40 twice in that 5th set. Now down 3-2 in the 5th and having held serve for 22 straight games, the weight of playing against a giant was too much for even him to hold.

Federer finally broke Nadal's service. At the end of a return point where Federer hit approximately one hundred lines during his volley with Nadal, the final sideline shot was a return unreachable for Nadal and Federer let out a stream of joy. A sight of emotion usually reserved for those who are human, for those who have been pushed to their limit and have come out on top. It was a sight unseen on the grass courts of Wimbledon for the past 5 years. Roger had owned Wimbledon like a man playing against children. There was no joy in that.

But yesterday Federer, for the first time in a long time, was being pushed. His physical opponent across the net was a 21 year old phenom made from clay. His mental opponents were sitting in the stands watching him. His spiritual opponents were controlling the infallible technology from above and beyond.

At the end, when he was finally victorious, Federer let go. Crumbling to the ground having vanquished his opponents, he covered his face with his hands. Perhaps, at some point, he thought that his opponents would be too much for him.

It was understood that Nadal had the French but Wimbledon was Roger's. That was Roger's home. That was where Roger beat the immortal Sampras and broke Sampras' chance for 5 straight titles away. Perhaps he thought that Nadal has caught up to him as he had to Sampras, and that his chances at pure domination maybe fewer and far between. Who knows what thoughts pass through the minds of those standing on the precipice of history?

As the floodgates of emotion overwhelmed the stoic champion, he returned to his chair and took his time to put on his proper whites. Vest, jacket, trousers.

Nadal sat at his own chair, head down, sweat dripped hair hanging. You could see the thoughts forming in a bubble over his head, "this is what it feels like to lose when you've done enough to win. Remember this feeling Rafa, this is what you will use whenever you feel that you're good enough to win."

We, the audience, sometimes wonder what it would be like for two greats of the past to square off. Soon it may be understood that Roger Federer's greatness not only lay in the amount of majors that he won, but that he had to go through Rafael Nadal to do so.

When it's all said and done, yesterday will be the day that two greats from future's past squared off.

"In my opinion," Nadal said, "[Federer's] tennis level is the best in history."

That's 11 majors for Roger now, Tiger.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

nobody likes betting against the home team

As I drift off between drowsiness and waking life, I realize that I must reiterate the mantra.

We have a wonderful collection of minds.

Many intelligent people spend lots of mind energy (read: thoughts) on sports.
In my youth I watched Don Cherry often. As the years went on, and Saturday nights were for more than just hockey, and hockey was on more than just Saturday nights, I watched less and less.

Then he started, at the end of Coach's Corner, to hold a picture. Pictures of people, in the line of duty, who have been killed.

It started off as a once in a while thing. He'd hold a picture, camera would zoom in, he'd say something poignant, Ron Maclean would sign off (or not) without a witty line.

It just came to me, this evening, a month (or so) after the hockey season has ended and the last Coach's Corner has aired, that for many weeks this season, the segment did not end with a witty line from Ron.

And Don wasn't holding up one picture.

There would be a few of them, and since the CBC was used to graphically portraying them on their news segments, those same screen shots, of multiple people, Canadian Military, would be shown.

There is a war going on. It is nothing less than a war. It may not be the war we're used to, but then again, we aren't used to any war at all.

Tonight I found myself glad that the Jays won. In fact, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the Jays, as many people may have.

But, if I was constantly reminded that we were at war, would I care? Wouldn't I want the war to end so I could enjoy the Jays or whomever at peace?

But I'm firing in the dark here. I've always been firing in the dark. I'm sure there are motions, movements, protests afoot. I'm not connected to them. Seek, and ye shall... but I'm buried in work/school/books/sports.

Kurt Vonnegut fought in a big war. He realized that there are a few things that will continue to happen that cannot be stopped. Those things include Ice Ages and wars.

Maybe I'm using the wrong forums to extract public opinion. Maybe I should use the internet better. But it gets hard. There's a lot of hate out there. A lot of ignorant, misguided, quick-to-judge bullying. And it's the sort of thing that can wake one up when one is about to fall asleep, and derail one's soft journey into dreams.

If I dream tonight, it probably won't be pleasant.

Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors. -Hunter S. Thompson