Friday, May 05, 2006

the show must go on

Moving is quite the adventure. I'm back in Toronto. And enough about that. Ok, now I'm done with the personal stuff and on to the bizness at hand.

Since most of my predictions for winners of round one in the NHL playoffs were wrong, and since the NHL reseeds after each round I decided to start my predictions now. I still have 5 of my 11 players in the playoff pool going, and 3 of them are on San Jose. Go Sharks.

Here are my second round predictions.


Buffalo vs. Ottawa
I hate Ottawa. I can't believe that I was at a bar where some ottawa peons defended what chris 'turtle' neil did against Dingman. The Ottawa fans considered neil's actions as 'smart hockey'. I dunno, neil doesn't strike me as the type that could beat me in a chess match. He's also ugly. And he smells. But he's really smart at picking fights and then cowering in fear to get an opposing player a two-minute penalty. What a freakin genius. Sun Tzu has nothing on chris neil, neil should write a book, call it the art of wuss.

Buffalo in 7

New Jersey vs. Carolina

Hey, Carolina. Remember when you had two games against the Lightning at the end of the season and you couldn't score on a 5 on 3 powerplay in overtime and then St. Louis busted up the ice and scored to give Tampa the win and eliminate Toronto from the playoff race? Well, Brodeur is no Tortorella bitch in net, so good luck.

Probably the best coaching match of the playoffs, winner of this series probably will represent the East in the Cup Final.

New Jersey in 6


Edmonton vs. San Jose

Top seed in the West is 5th. I can't ever recall the underdogs winning every single first round match up in any sport. My friend Mike is quite an astute gambler, and he told me before the playoffs started that he thought the West was so up in the air that I should take the underdogs if the odds are good. I wonder how much money he made following his own advice.

Edmonton has Horcoff's-hearty-heart-heart, but San Jose has Thornton's-Harty-Hart-Hart. Will he be the first ever athlete to be traded mid season and win the most valuable player award for that season? Lets hope so. People may say that Jagr did more with less, but how many other people on the Rangers are nominated for awards and how many Sharks are nominated for awards? By my count (not including the scoring awards), it's 3-2 for the Rangers in categories that reflect more on the team's success rate. blah blah blah...

San Jose in 5

Colorado vs. Anaheim

Hot teams are hot teams. Anaheim is hot, Colorado is not. Anaheim is playing a brand of team hockey that I have not seen executed since the Devils cup runneth teams of yesteryear, when blogs were journals, penalties were infractions, winters were cold, hair was not-grey, belly was flat, chicks were smile-at-me, legs were fast, lungs were pink, liver was not-damaged, pods were about peas, Go-Bots were on the rise, K.I.T. was Michael Knight's best friend, the chick on the show was hot too, there were more lap-dances than lap-tops, porn was hard to come by if you were a kid, it was safe to eat the gum that came with hockey cards, food wasn't dissected by its content of protein/carb/fat/transfat/suger/you're gonna get hit by a crappy driver soon so just go to Burger King and pig out and running jokes were shorter.

Anaheim in 5

On another note, I used to live by myself, and now have roommates. This cartoon was found recently, and it really, really, hit the nail on the head. This is how I would spend about 75% of my non-sleeping time.

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