lessons never learned

Sometimes as we are making mistakes, we realize that we are making the mistake, and we can not do anything to prevent ourselves from making the mistake. It's one of those battles we have within ourselves, and the reasonable one always loses. Why does he lose? Well, I think it's because he's reasonable, and the irrational one is just so much more fun to go with, he's like "yeah, come'on, I know it's crazy, but it'll be great." And it's always crazy, but it's not always great. This was one of the not great nights.

I have made many mistakes, too many to mention, however, tonite I repeated one. Again. Stupid Hoss, stupid, stupid Hoss.

All is not lost. But I have decided to ground myself for the next week or so to try to do some learning from this repeating. Yes, I'm dispensing some self-parenting, because otherwise, I'm not sure I'll learn. Nevermind that I wouldn't have got myself into trouble had I been out.

No matter how down things are at any particular moment, no matter how hard one tries to be on oneself, things will look better in the light of a new day. What a sappy self-promotional speech. Put the head down, keep chugging. Too busy to think.

Assiduous adj : marked by careful unremitting attention or persistent application.