monday morning musings

Reports this past weekend suggest that Chris Pronger wants out of Edmonton; it only makes sense that he goes to Florida for Jay Bouwmeester. Bouwmeester is an Edmonton native; Pronger's wife wants an American city. Mike Keenan has traded for Pronger before as made famous by his famous motivational speech one night in St. Louis. Keenan had traded Brendan Shanahan for Pronger, and at one time was, lets say, less than impressed with Pronger's performance on the ice and proceeded to shout "do you know who I traded you for!?!" at Pronger during a game.

Here's another matchmaking idea. The Toronto Blue Jays should trade for Jeremy Affeldt of the Kansas City Royals. The Jays are in need of bullpen help, and although Affeldt is listed as a starter, the best performances in his career have come from the pen. My friends will recognize Affeldt as the underperforming bench star of my baseball pool team for the past few years, but be assured; I have learned a lot about this guy while he sat on my pool team bench. Not as much as Kevin from Kevin's Royal Blog has, but a fair amount. Affeldt has a one year contract at the moment, and it is conceivable that the Royals new management could flip him for a B grade prospect.

Affeldt is a southpaw with a blazing fastball and above average curve. He has a change and slider, but rarely uses them. His fastball can top in the upper 90s when he pushes it, which he does more often with short stints out of the pen than he does when he starts. Because his fastball and curve are so good, there was a perception that he could start, but his limited pitch variety leaves him best suited for work out of the pen.

Adding Affeldt to the Toronto bullpen would allow Affeldt and Justin Speier to work as co-setup men. It could move Scott Schoeneweiss (who hasn't pitched that well this year) into lefty specialist (OPBAA .196 from the left side and .311 from the right side this year) and it could allow Scott Downs to come into the starting rotation. The starting rotation is seriously hurting right now, and even though Downs has pitched pretty badly as a starter this year, last year he filled in quite admirably for the injured Roy Halladay.

Those are my thoughts; JP would be wise to take a listen to them, but what else would you have me say?

At the very least, Affeldt would be the pimpest reliever in the Blue Jays pen.

don't have a cow man

I'm often caught wondering. Usually, my wonder is the apparently essential resistance to learn from our past mistakes. "Our" is being used here to term humankind, and "past mistakes" are those things which have been made which need not be repeated. There are many examples in our past from which we can learn from. We have personal experiences, those which shape our individual character and we have shared experiences in our collective past. An example of a personal experience is something we each learn on our own, i.e., for me it's that milk gives me gas. An example of a shared experience is from here in Canada. During World War II, Japanese Internment camps started after the attack on Pearl Harbour. For seven years after the attack, Canadians of Japanese origin were racially profiled and ordered to move from their homes mainly due to a deep rooted anti-Asian sentiment among a primarily European descended Canadian population. This took place 60 years ago, meaning that there are living souls from all sides who witnessed this take place.

Witnessing the past is essential to remembering it and learning from it. Sure, our perceptions are all different but there are facts that cannot be ignored. To wit, facts state that planes flew into the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11, 2001. There are millions of people who have first hand accounts of witnessing it on television, backed up by multiple forms of first hand evidence in different mediums. Some people claim to know who flew those planes so certainly that you would believe they were in the cockpit themselves. That is neither here nor there, and does not detract from the fact of the planes flying into the towers, facts which cannot be disputed by anybody with rational mind.

When I was in high school, one of my history teachers taught me the Two-Generation rule. This is by no means a hard rule, but more of conclusion that a person studying history could have come to after observing the past of humanity. The Two-Generation rule applies as such; after Two-Generations the past is not one that we remember but one we are told. What I mean by that is that as individuals, our past only extends as far back as our Grandparents. Anything beyond that might as well be read to us from a textbook, for it is not a first hand story that we will hear, but more along the lines of mythological tales of walking 10 miles in clogs to school in the dead of winter.

This brings this long and winding post to its point, one which I think I've only been throwing darts at so far. Hard line Hindu's in India have won a battle to kill a word, or an idea from their past. Calling them Hard line Hindu's is a discredit to Hindu's just as much as calling some terrorists Islamic. What we have today are mind-warpers, and they come in all shapes in sizes, usually backed by some fanatical misrepresentation of spiritual salvation to be imposed on everybody else. These hard liners in India have outlawed the word "beef" from historical textbooks. Apparently some passages in the textbooks which told of past Hindu's eating beef is considered offensive by some people today. These people hide behind the veil of Hinduism to censor their past. I am saying with 100% certainty that non of those people who have chosen to champion the cause to remove the word "beef" from textbooks were alive to witness first hand the non-eating of beef by those in the past. Of course, the other side of this argument is true as well, that no one is alive who has witnessed those in the past who are suggested to have eaten the beef actually eat the beef. However, this article in today's Toronto Star suggests that there are pieces of evidence from the past which point to the slaughter of cows by Hindu's. To ignore the past is to kill the world, one word at a time.

"Facts be dammed" appears to be the slogan for mind-warpers from everywhere. They will convince you that they are being insulted, that their pride is at stake when facts from the past remove the shine of perfection from their image. Fear of being considered less than perfect is pervasive and seems to only be addressed on the personal level. The group fear of being perceived as less than perfect is almost as big and rarely spoken of.

The point is this; it is an insult to believe that we have been born as perfect creatures that have never made mistakes. Hinduism preaches that cows are sacred and should not be killed (this is my limited understanding). If they were killed by Hindu's in the past, do not hide from that past, because hiding from the past will allow history to repeat itself.

If you are trying to save the children, which is usually the argument of those who rarely listen to their children, teach them the follies of our past, do not present to them a perfect past. A perfect past is a weak foundation for anyone to build a future upon. It is a bar-too high for anyone to achieve. Life will be a constant disappointment for those who believe that everything in the past was perfect, because their life most certainly will not be. We are not perfect creatures, and sometimes need to make mistakes and a helping hand to build a better future.

deus ex machina n Etymology: New Latin, a god from a machine, translation of Greek theos ek mEchanEs 1 : a god introduced by means of a crane in ancient Greek and Roman drama to decide the final outcome 2 : a person or thing (as in fiction or drama) that appears or is introduced suddenly and unexpectedly and provides a contrived solution to an apparently insoluble

raptors win the nba draft lottery...

...and no one will trade for that pick. I called a few friends after getting the news last night, and after the euphoria of winning the lottery subsided, the reality of the draft rules set in.

As with every story, there is another side to the coin. This time the Raptors win the lottery the one year there isn't a consensus number one and the first year after the NBA institutes it's age restriction on draft eligible players (from 18 to 19). After the Raptors (and Grizzlies) were awarded franchises, the NBA had a new rule not allowing the crappy expansion teams to pick higher than fifth (I'm not sure of the exact number, but the rule I remember), I called that the Orlando rule, after the Magic scored Shaq and C-Webber in back-to-back drafts.

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 4688185

what is up, doc?

Good day everybody in the internet. I have spent some time recently in the outernet and boy, do I have some news for you. So sit back, relax, grab your popcorn, as a courtesy to other readers please turn off your cell phones, and enjoy the show.

How about them B.J.'s? No, I'm not talking about having another person slob on your knob, and no, I'm not talking about the relief pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, I'm talking about the Blue Jay's themselves. The team that no longer has the word "Blue" on their uniform or hats, and for some reason have been trying to shorten their name down to just "The Jays". Soon they will do away with the "ays" part and be known as the "J's". Then, when long names are cool again, they will again transform their name into "A primary colour followed by the tenth letter of the alphabet." Which might make for some weird uniforms, but they'll be hip, because people will be all about reading, which they will be able to do again in their automatically piloted flying cars or buses. It's funny, we already have airbuses (read: planes) and in fact, we do already have flying cars: they go by a more popular name of "small planes". The future is here people, flying cars, robots that clean after us, and small market teams from Raleigh-Durham, Buffalo, Edmonton and Anaheim being the top 4 teams in the NHL.

Yes, it's time for my predictions for the Stanley Cup Finals. Here they are.

Carolina versus Buffalo. - I don't know.

Edmonton versus Anaheim. - I really don't know.

You can take those picks to the bank. I have no idea what is going to happen and even if I did, I wouldn't dream of just sharing such valuable information with you. Old man Biff was right, get a sports almanac, steal the Delorean Time Machine, go back in time and visit your younger self and give him that Almanac and sit back as you slowly but surely take over the internet gambling sites, porn sites and then the world! Ha ha! Take that Doc! Not Halladay, but the other Doc, McFly's uncle or something. I forget, did Doc ever come back from the old west? I don't remember what exactly happened, I do remember that movie raising some philosophical questions from myself, and in doing so, making me consult what Stephen Hawking thought of time travel. Lo and behold, Chapter 10 of a Brief History of Time, Hawking mentions the movie when talking about the alternate histories hypothesis (near the bottom of the page).

But I digress. About the Stanley Cup playoffs. Even though the Oilers ruined my chance of turning little money into lots (by eliminating San Jose), I am cheering for them. Not because they're Canadian, I don't buy into nationalistic cheering for professional sports teams. But because they play hockey like I would like to play hockey if I cloned myself 20 times, learned how to skate, and made a hockey team of me and my skating clones. It's also because of their goalie. Between Cam Ward, Ryan Miller, Ilya Bryzgalov and Dwayne Roloson, I'm choosing Rolie the Goalie. The sip from the cup is sweeter the longer the journey to it.

There once was a man named Rolie,
He was an Oiler, their best goalie.

Anagram of the day. Rolie-Oiler. Think about it.

the show must go on

Moving is quite the adventure. I'm back in Toronto. And enough about that. Ok, now I'm done with the personal stuff and on to the bizness at hand.

Since most of my predictions for winners of round one in the NHL playoffs were wrong, and since the NHL reseeds after each round I decided to start my predictions now. I still have 5 of my 11 players in the playoff pool going, and 3 of them are on San Jose. Go Sharks.

Here are my second round predictions.

EAST

Buffalo vs. Ottawa
I hate Ottawa. I can't believe that I was at a bar where some ottawa peons defended what chris 'turtle' neil did against Dingman. The Ottawa fans considered neil's actions as 'smart hockey'. I dunno, neil doesn't strike me as the type that could beat me in a chess match. He's also ugly. And he smells. But he's really smart at picking fights and then cowering in fear to get an opposing player a two-minute penalty. What a freakin genius. Sun Tzu has nothing on chris neil, neil should write a book, call it the art of wuss.

Buffalo in 7

New Jersey vs. Carolina

Hey, Carolina. Remember when you had two games against the Lightning at the end of the season and you couldn't score on a 5 on 3 powerplay in overtime and then St. Louis busted up the ice and scored to give Tampa the win and eliminate Toronto from the playoff race? Well, Brodeur is no Tortorella bitch in net, so good luck.

Probably the best coaching match of the playoffs, winner of this series probably will represent the East in the Cup Final.

New Jersey in 6

WEST

Edmonton vs. San Jose

Top seed in the West is 5th. I can't ever recall the underdogs winning every single first round match up in any sport. My friend Mike is quite an astute gambler, and he told me before the playoffs started that he thought the West was so up in the air that I should take the underdogs if the odds are good. I wonder how much money he made following his own advice.

Edmonton has Horcoff's-hearty-heart-heart, but San Jose has Thornton's-Harty-Hart-Hart. Will he be the first ever athlete to be traded mid season and win the most valuable player award for that season? Lets hope so. People may say that Jagr did more with less, but how many other people on the Rangers are nominated for awards and how many Sharks are nominated for awards? By my count (not including the scoring awards), it's 3-2 for the Rangers in categories that reflect more on the team's success rate. blah blah blah...

San Jose in 5

Colorado vs. Anaheim

Hot teams are hot teams. Anaheim is hot, Colorado is not. Anaheim is playing a brand of team hockey that I have not seen executed since the Devils cup runneth teams of yesteryear, when blogs were journals, penalties were infractions, winters were cold, hair was not-grey, belly was flat, chicks were smile-at-me, legs were fast, lungs were pink, liver was not-damaged, pods were about peas, Go-Bots were on the rise, K.I.T. was Michael Knight's best friend, the chick on the show was hot too, there were more lap-dances than lap-tops, porn was hard to come by if you were a kid, it was safe to eat the gum that came with hockey cards, food wasn't dissected by its content of protein/carb/fat/transfat/suger/you're gonna get hit by a crappy driver soon so just go to Burger King and pig out and running jokes were shorter.

Anaheim in 5

On another note, I used to live by myself, and now have roommates. This cartoon was found recently, and it really, really, hit the nail on the head. This is how I would spend about 75% of my non-sleeping time.

sports as a barometer

April 19th, 2006. The roof is open at the SkyDome for an afternoon game between the Blue Jays and the Yankees. This might be the earliest point in the baseball season that they have opened up the roof. Usually the roof doesn't open up until May, sometimes mid to late May.

As I was studying last night, I had mlb.tv on in the background and was amazed at how far the internet has gone in the fifteen odd years since I've had access to it. What started out as a young lad playing doom online to now, using the internet connection to watch sporting events.

One thing I will never forget is the sound that a modem made when it would be communicating with another one, I think it went something like this, "beep boop beep boop kudung kudung tchhhhhhhhhhhhhh". With the "tchhh" part being really loud. I used to hide from my parents the fact that I was playing Doom late at night against my friend Mike by using pillows to cover up the modem noise. Man, why couldn't modems come with a mute button?

And now, I can sit on my patio, in the sun, in the twenty-degree Celsius weather outside, read a book, and have my laptop play the game with the help of a wireless connection. And make a blog entry at the same time.

With all these toys at our disposal, it's the kids that I'm truly worried about. Toy toy, distraction, distraction. By not paying attention, you could sign away your soul to the devil, and not even get a donut in return. Kid's, don't sign for anything if you aren't sure what it means. It's ok to say 'I don't know what that word means' or, 'is this what this word means?' before you sign it. Because recently, I saw a clip of a young guy walking around convincing young girls to sign a petition to end women's suffrage. Actually, it was a pretty funny clip. The only girl they showed not signing it was a blonde chick, so you can take that stereotype and boom box it.

Suffrage n 1: vote 2: the right to vote : franchise

Reason number 1243 that computers can't take over the world like they did in the Matrix yet: We humans are not programming them with much intelligence. To wit, the spell check on this blog site does not recognize the word 'blog'.

always good for a laugh

Imagine yourself as a pitcher facing the New York Yankees. You're 24 years old, and it's a tie game 0-0, in the top of the second. You have a runner on first, and a full count to the Yankee catcher Jorge Posada.

And then...

Your protective cup slides down your pants. Your jock is now protecting your kneecap, which would be ok, but it's sorta a tough situation and you really don't need the jock-down-the-pants as a distraction while you pitch.

So you call time. You call your manager out. You tell him the situation. This is his reaction.

AP Ann Heisenfelt
Good times. For video evidence of the situation, click here. Scroll to about the 30 minute mark in the game (top of second, 2 out, 3-2 count). If this link doesn't work, you can try the MLB.tv archives (if you know how to navigate them) and access the highlight from the game on the 14th of April between the Yankees and the Twins.

Good times.

baseball clips

Last few days spent watching some Blue Jays play some baseball. Good team, it's going to be a fun season.

Saturday, ninth inning, Jays versus White Sox. The play of the year so far in baseball, and I don't see how it can be topped. Tadahito Iguchi (Chicago's 2nd baseman) makes an incredible throw to first to get Bengie Molina out. I thought the Jays were mounting a ninth inning rally when Iguchi fell down. Thing was, as he was falling, he threw to first. Watch it here and see for yourself. (clicking will open up a media player).

For all you thinking fans of the game: Last night in L.A., Omar Vizquel was the middle man for a rare, groundball 4-6-5 double play. Watch it here. Vizquel doesn't even look at first but turns and fires to third. I don't know what he could have possibly seen up to this point to make him think he could get the runner at third, but somehow he did.

Finally, for those of you who appreciate the effort. Game 6 of the 1986 world series as commented by Vin Scully. For visuals, RBI baseball. Truly, a majestic piece of art.

i'm so wrong

here's the thing, upon revisiting the clip of the goal mentioned in my last post, I can see the Canuck bench door open and two players standing. Those two were probably the Sedin twins. I'm sorry official scorer, I was being a tight ass.

I'm just wrong about so much sometimes, that instead of being a person who criticizes, instead, I'd like to give thanks.


I'd like to begin by giving thanks today to the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Thank you for still trying to make the playoffs. Even though I counted you out weeks ago, you did your best. Like a procrastinating university student, you waited until your back was up against the wall, the night before your paper was late and absolutely couldn't be handed in any later, and even though you put up an A+ effort, in the end, the late marks drop your grade down to a C. But I was there while you put the A+ effort in, and I know that if you had just done that with a week to go before your paper was due, instead of the night before your paper was due, you would have been in the playoffs.

Thank you to Mats Sundin, who played the best hockey of his career during a ten game stretch when everyone was waiting for you to fall. You never fell, the mountain to climb just happened to be bigger than we thought. If I ever have children to tell a story, I will tell them the story of Mats Sundin, and how he carried the Maple Leafs even though victory was not in grasp.

Thank you to Jean Sebastian Aubin, you were the best goalie to wear the uniform of the Maple Leafs this year.

Thank you to Ed Belfour. You had possibly the worst season of your illustrious career, but not once did you come out and say anything bad about a defence core and forward line up that played like shit in front of you.

Thank you to Tie Domi. Tie, dressed or scratched, you are the embodiment of what a Maple Leaf fan would be if they played for their team.

Thank you to Matt Stajan. Even though you didn't get the playing time you deserved until late in the season, you made up for it by playing like a one man army when the Leafs were short handed. Everything that can be done should be done to make sure you are a Leaf for your whole career.

Thank you to Tomas Kaberle. Even though you weren't the highest scoring defenceman on the team, you were the one player that I could see saying to himself "fuck it, I'm joining the rush and we're scoring." More often than not the plan would fail, but the effort and the artistry was not lost on myself.

Thank you to Ian White. I've seen you play one whole game. I would like to see you play one whole season based on that one whole game.

Thank you to Jason Allison. You broke your hand in a fight, standing up for a fellow teammate in that disaster that was the March road trip in Montreal. Because you broke your hand in that fight standing up for a teammate and missed the rest of the season, you lost out on multiple salary incentive clauses that would have kicked in. Although some detractors say that you aren't the most fleet of foot on skates, the game slows down when you have the puck on your stick. To all those critics that site that the Leafs only sign high priced mercenaries, I would like to present to you Jason Allison, a man who lost dollars in the name of standing up for a teammate. How many other NHL teams can say they have a player who has done the same?

Thank you to Kyle Wellwood. Dude, you gots mads skillz with the puck. Another season or two and you'll be a point a game player. Just keep that head up.

Thank you to Alexander Steen. Your awareness on the ice is far greater than the years you possess would suggest.

Thank you to Alexei Ponikarovksy. You are about to become a scary force to opponents in the NHL. I'm glad that you're Leaf. Keep making those hits to open up passes.

Thank you to Carlo Colaiacovo. Come back healthy next season.

To all you and to all the rest that I have neglected to mention: Thank you for the effort you made and for the nights you made watching you play enjoyable. The high's are not the high's without the low's. No matter where you are next year, feed off that emotion you felt right after St. Louis scored tonite.

Go Leafs Go.

CSI Vancouver

Hear ye, hear ye, all ye conspiracy theorists. I invite you to the case of the dastardly Swedes. However; these Swedes are not dastardly, just made out to be so. They were framed I tell you, framed!

It's a classic case, of a double switch, pulled off by identical twins!

Here's the deal. I was making a diagram to show the incredible pass made last night by Joe Thornton to Grant Stevenson for the Sharks first goal. Since it was a really long pass, pulled off on even strength, I decided to add coloured dots to show the approximate position of the players on the ice at the time of the pass. Then I decided to (by using the nhl.com highlight machine's clip of the goal) record the corresponding player numbers for the dots. I couldn't find all the players, so I decided to do a quick cross-reference with the official scoresheet. Here's the diagram (if you click on it it should zoom to a larger size).


There's Thornton (19) at the left end of the long line, and there is Stevenson on the right (37). Now, here's the problem, everyone seems to be in place as verified by the video highlights except for two players on the Canucks. Player 14 and a player I have listed as "?". Both are around the faceoff circle to the left of the Sharks goalie Toskala (#35). Here's what happened.

As I was cross referencing with the official scoresheet, I noticed that the Sedin twins (#22 & #33) were both listed as being on the ice at the time of the goal. There are three skaters that are clearly shown as being on the ice (#44 Bertuzzi, #2 Ohlund, #23 Brown) a fourth whose identity is not so clear but can be easily deduced, and a fifth whose identity is a mystery. Quite clearly, the fourth player on the ice for Vancouver can bee seen to have a number 4 on his jersey. There are three players who were dressed for Vancouver last night that have a number 4 on their jersey, they are; Todd Bertuzzi (#44), Nolan Baumgartner (#4), and Alexander Burrows (#14). Bertuzzi is clearly shown on the ice as another player, and the player with number 4 clearly shows another number preceding it on the jersey, possibly a 1. If that player is Burrows, and three other players are clearly shown by video evidence to be Bertuzzi, Ohlund and Brown, then both the Sedin twins could not possibly have been on the ice for that first Sharks goal. I contend that neither of them were on the ice at all, and that mysterious player "?" was actually #20 Ryan Kesler! (This is where I would slam my big textbook in the courtroom to underline my point with a loud bang)

What's the point? Twain said there are three types of lies in this world: lies, damn lies and statistics. Statistics are recorded by humans, and we all make mistakes. However, the plus minus of the Sedin Twins is affected by this, and I have no idea as to the contract details of any players in the NHL, but quite possibly there are incentives or salary bonuses that kick in for specific plus-minus milestones.

Where are the checks and balances for the NHL? This is clearly an internal issue, and I have no business in it, but I found something, and I figured people should know about it.

Oh yes, before I forget. With the win last night over the Canucks, the Sharks clinched a playoff spot. James Mirtle believes that Joe Thornton should win the Hart Trophy. Question, if Thornton does, would he be the first ever Hart Trophy winner to win be traded within that season? I have a friend who is a veritable hockey encyclopedia, his name is Greg Oliver (not the same one who writes wrestling columns for the Sun Media newspapers)(to all those that have googled "Greg Oliver" to get here, I would like to say 'hello'), and he would know. As soon as Greg lets me know, I'll let you know.

hits from the bong

First things first. Nobody said anything, but I feel as though I made some mistakes and i need to clear them up. First off, Shea Hillenbrand hit a 3-2 pitch into a double play, and when the count was 3-1, he took a pitch that was called a late strike, one that could have sent him to first, so i could see why he would be swinging at any fastball close to the zone.

Jays scored 3 runs in the top of the first today and lead 7-2 heading into the bottom of the fifth. Good for them.

Cheech on the left and Chong on the right.
And so the Hockey playoffs start tonite, with a small home and home between the Sharks and the Canucks. It's raining here in ottawa, and I'm still thinking about trying to catch the game at some bar.

I'm gonna call this series the battle between Cheech and Chong. Cheech is obvious, but the Canucks will be Chong and I'll be Shemp.

Basically, the Canucks have 89 points with three games to go, and two of them against the Sharks who have 93 points with 4 games to go. Edmonton is the real team the Canucks are chasing, and they have 91 points with 2 games to go. Who knows where the chips will fall? Not me. If you do, feel free to tell everyone.

This word is for Bill Watterson. I've been looking for a transmogrifying gun ever since I saw Calvin with one.

transmogrify v : to change or alter greatly and often with grotesque or humorous effect intransitive senses : to become transmogrified
synonym see TRANSFORM

i have to go now. my planet needs me.

Welcome to a new segment here on "Saving the world one word at a time." It's called Do you even know what that means? It is going to be hosted by an new character. Even though it is still me doing all the work, I figured adding a new character to the blog would add some life to it. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" I hope you like it.

I'll let Krusty the clown make the introduction.


Once in a great while, we are privileged to experience an internet event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared heritage.






1969: Man walks on the moon.









1971: Man walks on the moon... again.




Then, for a long time, nothing happened. Until tonight.

Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, welcome the newest member of the SWOWAT family....

Poochie!



Yo yo yo, this shout out to what a homey even means goes out to Bruce Garrioch, a sports writer for the Ottawa sun. In an article from this past Saturday he wrote:

Not only is Heatley on the road to scoring 50 goals and 100 points, he was selected yesterday as Ottawa's nominee for the Bill Masterton Trophy, which is given to a player each season for perseverance and dedication to hockey.

and then in the same article, one paragraph later...

Heatley requested a trade from the Thrashers last August. Following the lockout, he decided it would be to difficult to return to Atlanta, where he was involved in a tragic car accident that took the life of friend and teammate Dan Snyder.

Brucey, Brucey, Brucey. Do you even know what perseverance means? Maybe if you get a dictionary, HNIC will invite you back to the Hot Stove Lounge. For Brucey and all the members of the Ottawa chapter of the Professional Hockey Writers' Association, this one's for you.

perseverance n : the action or condition or an instance of persevering : STEADFASTNESS.

persevere intransitive verb Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French perseverer, from Latin perseverare, from per- through + severus severe
: to persist in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement.

Finally, in Haiku form, just because I can and it almost rhymes.

In case you're not clear,
requesting a trade is not
how one perseveres.

Catch you onthe flip side, dudemeisters......NOT! Hey, kids, always recycle... TO THE EXTREME! Bust it!

walking is not enough exercise

Newsflash: 5 months of walking to and fro from home and school is not enough exercise to keep me in shape. Especially if I'm only walking to the bus stop.

It was a beautiful day in Ottawa today, and yesterday it was nice as well. So I decided to break the shell of atrophy and shoot some hoops. Well, after stretching for a good half hour, it took me 5 minutes of playing to start cramping up in my lower legs.

It was pathetic.

I couldn't jump, I couldn't run, I couldn't even turn. Muscles were seizing up all over the place.

Needless to say I'm not nearly old enough, nor wily enough, to play like a wily old vet, so I have to get this body thing going again.

Atrophy n 1 : decrease in size or wasting away of a body part or tissue; also : arrested development or loss of a part or organ incidental to the normal development or life of an animal or plant 2 : a wasting away or progressive decline : DEGENERATION [the atrophy of freedom]

Screw amphetamines, if anyone knows of where I can find drugs to make my muscles not seize up, I'd appreciate it. I already have a full prescription of exercise and stretching, so anything else would help.

Jays could have used some more walking as exercise today, especially in the first inning. They played in the Boston home opener this afternoon. If it is possible to lose a game in the top of the first inning, then the Jays certainly did it today. A quick summary, top of the first, bases loaded, one out. Beckett (the Boston starting pitcher)(I don't know why I felt compelled to add that fact) has thrown about 27 pitches so far, allowing one hit and walking 3, in the inning. He was clearly not in the groove to that point in the game. On a 2-2 pitch Shea Hillenbrand grounds to the 2nd baseman and into a double play to end the inning.

At that point, only scoring one run was a killer. It's not that they scored one run or squandered the chance that killed the game for them, it's that they had Beckett by the throat. Hillenbrand should have been trying to put the ball in the air, to at least get a sacrifice fly in that situation. Anything to the outfield would have scored the run from third. The runner was Wells, and the outfield for Boston was Ramirez, Nixon, and a Canadian in centrefield, Adam Stern. I don't know how good an arm Stern has (or a good leg, or a good bat, I know nothing about this guy, according to Prospectus he's good defensively) but he was playing centre field and I imagine the a ball flying that distance would have been enough to score a guy with Vernon's speed.

Needless to say Beckett got his groove on by the top of the second, settled down quite nicely and his final line was great. 7 innings 3 hits, 1 run, 4 walks. Considering 3 of those walks and one of those hits came in the first, you can imagine that he did get his groove back by the second inning. Boston complemented his groove by scoring 4 runs in the bottom of the second (Tower's only bad inning) and then for some reason in the bottom of the seventh with a 3-0 count Vinny Chulk decided to pipe a fastball into David Ortiz's wheelhouse. Ortiz was swinging, and lead for the Red Sox was a big 4 runs (note to managers and pitchers everywhere: with a lead late in the game Ortiz is swinging on a 3-0 pitch). All I could think was 'why Vinny, why? just walk him.')

But, on the whole, the Jays proved that they can compete with the big boys in the east, for the game was a lot closer then the 2 runs show. Also, Wily Mo Pena doesn't appear to be the greatest fielder. Things could get interesting when Pena and Ramirez are on the field at the same time.

Final note, after a week of play, Bronson Arroyo has 2 more home runs than the player he was traded for, Wily Mo Pena. If I find odds I like, I'd bet that Arroyo hits more home runs than Pena this season.

pronkasauras

Pronk-Half Project, Half donkey. Annoying baseball pool stat of the day. Pronk has 4 home runs and 5 RBIs.

In other news, my baseball pool team starters can't seem to allow less than five runs an outing. I know I know, it's early and you don't care. But still.

Annoying baseball pool stat of the day #2. Chris Shelton has 5 home runs and 6 RBI's.

8:49 Chris Shelton is 13 for 18 so far on the season. He's got 2 triples tonite. The Tigers, the 2006 Detroit Tigers, have set a Major League Record for most home runs to start a season with 16 through 4 games.

eureka, fools gold!

It hasn't even been a week yet, and I don't have splits from last year, but here are some numbers from the 2006 MLB baseball season which backup my claim that relievers are giving up lots of big flies. Heading into tonite:

Starters 97 HR allowed 375 IP 0.2587 HR/IP
Relievers 59 HR allowed 92 IP 0.6413 HR/IP

(stats courtesy of MLB.com)

Now, really small sample size, but HUGE discrepancy in numbers between starters and relievers. These numbers just go to back up my claim that the ban on greenies is affecting relievers more than any other position player. And quite frankly, I don't remember how I got to that claim, or why I'm using home runs allowed as the barometer to justify that claim. I should re-read my own last post.

I'm also going to have to find numbers from last year to compare this year's numbers to, verifying that this is a stat of note.

That still doesn't answer the question of why I'm doing this. I mean, I do have a paper to write on Joseph Howe, so that's why I'm thinking about baseball, but I forget my point as to why I'm tracking home runs allowed by starters versus relievers in 2006.

I think I've misplaced my marbles. I can't seem to find them.

Also, I was playing solitaire with a real deck of cards (as opposed to on the computer) and the 6 of diamonds was missing.

All these incidents mean something....

tergiversation n 1 : evasion of straightforward action or clear-cut statement : EQUIVOCATION 2 : desertion of a cause, position, party, or faith

body break

Jays were up 6-0 after three innings tonite against the Devil Rays, were down 8-6 after seven and a half, when Vernon Wells hit a solo shot to lead off the bottom of the seventh to make it 8-7. Hollins homered in the ninth for the Rays to make it 9-7. Wells lead off the ninth with another home run to make it 9-8. Eight homeruns tonite so far in this game.

It seems as if home runs are being hit at a high rate to start off this season. What's the answer? Steroids? Juiced balls? Expansion diluting the pitching talent? No to the first two, perhaps yes to the last. But you're going to hear the real reason here first. The reason? Greenies.

Baseball's new ban on amphetamines this year. Greenies is their clubhouse name, and they were made famous in Jim Bouton's book Ball Four. Who uses amphetamines the most? My guess is those guys who have to sit around for a long time and then come in and pitch, the relievers.

Before MLB does something stupid like claim it owns the rights to stats from it's games, I'm thinking a good stats survey would be to track the increase in the long ball this year, specifically those given up by relievers. My guess is it's significant. I'll wait for the sample size to reach a month before I start my survey.

Jays lost 9-8. Prince Felix has just taken the mound in Seattle against the A's, and I gotta tune in to see what all the fuss is about. This kid, according to the folks at Baseball Prospectus, is to baseball what Lebron is to basketball and Crosby is to hockey (Crosby and not Ovechkin because Felix is a teenager and Alexander the Eight was 20 to start this season). Prince Felix will turn into a King later tonite, as his 20th birthday is tomorrow.

Amphetamine n : a racemic compound C9 H13 N or one of its derivatives (as dextroamphetamine or methamphetamine) frequently abused as a stimulant of the central nervous system but used clinically especially as the sulfate or hydrochloride salt to treat hyperactive children and the symptoms of narcolepsy and as a short-term appetite suppressant in dieting.

Now, before I go back to my paper that was due today, here are some sites worth looking into if the greenie subject has you interested.

• Here's a website, with some doctors are behind it, so it should be credible as to the side affect of amphetamines. Here's a sample of what the author of this piece, Amy Scholten says, specifically about amphetamines.

Amphetamines (also called speed or uppers) are stimulants that can decrease the appetite and the need for sleep. If injected they can cause a rapid increase in blood pressure, which can lead to sudden death from heart failure, stroke, or very high fever. Examples of amphetamines include prescription drugs such as Dexedrine, Adderall, or Ritalin, as well as amphetamines that are illegally manufactured for sale as drugs of abuse.

• Now as for baseball's banning ruling, an article by Hal Bodley in USA Today from last November.
• Finally, an article from a couple of days ago about baseball and amphetamines in the Palm Beach Post by Carlos Frias.

Greenies will be in the news everywhere in a little while. Hopefully more sports (like hockey) will ban them publicly (they might be banned in the NHL, but the NHL has not publicly listed the banned substances they test for).

More and more it seems that Jose Canseco did a good thing by writing Juiced. I say this not because he was bankrupt and bitter; but because he did help, in some small way, to accelerate the process of officially banning the substances in the Major Leagues.

Hopefully this ban on 'uppers' will reach the mainstream mind-set. That is, recreational players or adult amateurs who play sports and use them will stop using them due to the heart risks associated with them.

Till next time, keep fit and have fun.

baseball question

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati. Bottom of eighth inning. 5-5. 2 out. Runners on 1st (Lopez) and 2nd (Denorfia) . Mike Gonzalez versus Adam Dunn. Dunn hits a soft liner to centerfield, Duffy (the Pirates cf) makes a great diving attempt at the ball, catches it (traps it) after it clearly bounces on the field. Duffy then holds his glove up as if he had caught the ball. The umpire buys it, calls Dunn out. Pirates leave the field. Denorfia scores, Lopez scores.
Umpire conference. Reverse the call. Now the interesting question is, since you reverse the call, what do you do with the runners? The Pirates were leaving the field as Lopez scored.
The umpires award Denorfia home, put Lopez to third and give Dunn a single. Jim Tracy (manager of the Pirates) argues, gets tossed.
Duffy leads off the ninth for the Pirates. On a 1-2 pitch he gets hit on the top of the foot by the pitch. Home plate umpire doesn't award it to him. Duffy strikes out on the next pitch.
Scouting report:
Chris Duffy CF Pirates: Struck out 21 times in 60 odd at bats in spring training. He's in the lineup for his excellent defence. Since he's solid defensively, Jim Tracy bats him leadoff. Jim Tracy is not a dumb man, he just has no other option asides from Duffy. Duffy will easily strike out 150 times this year if he continues to bat from the leadoff position.

how long can it last?

no cable tv in apartment, but cable internet a subscription to mlb.tv tuned into the Jays Twins game online and was pleasantly surprised with a live feed of Bruins-Leafs instead. someone forgot to tell mlb that sportsnet ontario is showing the Leafs game. I hope no Twins fans are trying to watch the game.

go Leafs go.

Answer: 20 minutes, I got to catch half of the first period before MLB.tv switched over to TSN who is actually broadcasting the game.

my identity as a time stamp

at 2:38 I will be forever known as 2:38. You can refer to me as 2:38 if I say something stupid. For example. I could say that I saw a shooting star yesterday go across almost half the sky here in ottawa and quite frankly it's the 2nd best thing I've seen in 2 years here (the best being a Sigur Ros show where they did this crazy thing with birds).

And then you could say '2:38, you're a dumbass. There are no such things as shooting stars, only UFO's that come to spy on us. dumbass.'

And that's how we can talk, anonymously, and yet to each other. I'll be 2:38, and you can be whatever time it is for you. As long as this thing gets posted at 2:38, otherwise I shall look like quite the fool.

I think my mind has left me, and considering it's finals time, I couldn't think of a better time for it to leave. What's my reasoning for absence of my brain? In two weeks, with baseball starting, NHL and NBA playoffs coming, this, my time stamp identity idea, is the best idea for a post that I could come up with. On the plus side, I'm up to chapter 5 in my story about how a cow got into a foyer. Maybe that's where all my energy is going.

This song made me laugh quite a bit. I hope you enjoy.

brokeback hockey

Caution: This clip has partial male-male nudity, as Pavel Datsyuk is seen undressing Tomas Vokoun last night in Detroit during the shootout.



Tomorrow night we come to you live, from Montreal and the Bell Centre to tell you about the Leafs in their playoff hunt.

As for the Ottawa Citizen, they are on a "death watch" for the Leafs. I wonder, is it a rivalry if only one side cares about it?