imagination takes over study time

On some airlines, they offer complementary beer. Now, say I was travelling to a foreign country, and started consuming copious amounts of alcohol to make the time go by drunker. This is what happens.

Customs Agent: Passport please.
Me: Here you go. What's the cover in this country? In Canadian dollars please. I'm Canadian.
Agent: That's wonderful. (looks at what was handed to him) Sir, this is your drivers license.
Me: Oh sorry. Yeah. Hooo. It's kinda bright in here isn't it?
Agent: May I see your passport sir.
Me: Oh yeah, sorry man, I carry one of those belt thingies to keep stuff safe. One sec. (Proceeds to undoe belt and drop pants instead of taking off passport belt. Then hands the belt to the agent). It's in there.
Agent: This is your belt for your pants. Sir, please pull up your pants.
Me: (looks down). I see. (Looks back up).
Agent: (Hands belt back to me).
Me: Ah thankya. (Takes off passport belt this time and gives it to the agent. Reaches down to do up pants and falls. Decides to put pants on while on the ground).
Agent: Are you here on business or pleasure? (Looks up from passport to see no one there). Sir?
Me: (from the ground) Business.
Agent: Please get up sir. Thank you. State your business.
Me: Gimmiesomewater.
Agent: I'm sorry?
Me: My first order of b-hizness is to get some water. And then some pizza. Where's good pizza? I need a cigarette.
Agent: You can try the airport cafeteria.
Me: Fan-fucking-tastic. That is so, oh man, you have no idea how clutch it is for the airport to have a cafeteria. Man, in Canada, you can't even smoke inside anywhere man, any-fucking-where. Such a gip.
Agent: Your welcome sir. One last thing before we let you go, do you have anything to declare?
Me: I'm drunk.