Friday, February 10, 2006

soccer, north american style

Here's a heads up to NHL coaches everywhere. Get yourself an acting coach. Teach your players how to act on skates. I don't mean disney on ice; I mean fool the refs into calling stupid penalties. It's perfect, once your players can fake without being caught for diving, your team will get numerous 5-3 advantages and be able to score almost at will.

Even if your team is the Pittsburgh Penguins, 3 weeks with this acting coach will have the refs in your back pocket. Coincidently, the Olympic break is coming up, so we're offering a crash course over that time. You'll get three weeks worth of instruction in one and a half.

Seriously, the only major sporting officials who aren't under my ire right now are those who can pinpoint locations of objects that travel upwards of 90 miles per hour. Basketball, Fooball and Ice Hockey are just a joke.

1 a : to give a false appearance of : induce as a false impression [feign death] b : to assert as if true : pretend
2 archaic a : invent, imagine b : to give fictional representation to

I think I should just go to bed and tomorrown 'm going to wake up, and call a do-over on today.

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