baseball question

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati. Bottom of eighth inning. 5-5. 2 out. Runners on 1st (Lopez) and 2nd (Denorfia) . Mike Gonzalez versus Adam Dunn. Dunn hits a soft liner to centerfield, Duffy (the Pirates cf) makes a great diving attempt at the ball, catches it (traps it) after it clearly bounces on the field. Duffy then holds his glove up as if he had caught the ball. The umpire buys it, calls Dunn out. Pirates leave the field. Denorfia scores, Lopez scores.
Umpire conference. Reverse the call. Now the interesting question is, since you reverse the call, what do you do with the runners? The Pirates were leaving the field as Lopez scored.
The umpires award Denorfia home, put Lopez to third and give Dunn a single. Jim Tracy (manager of the Pirates) argues, gets tossed.
Duffy leads off the ninth for the Pirates. On a 1-2 pitch he gets hit on the top of the foot by the pitch. Home plate umpire doesn't award it to him. Duffy strikes out on the next pitch.
Scouting report:
Chris Duffy CF Pirates: Struck out 21 times in 60 odd at bats in spring training. He's in the lineup for his excellent defence. Since he's solid defensively, Jim Tracy bats him leadoff. Jim Tracy is not a dumb man, he just has no other option asides from Duffy. Duffy will easily strike out 150 times this year if he continues to bat from the leadoff position.

how long can it last?

no cable tv in apartment, but cable internet a subscription to mlb.tv tuned into the Jays Twins game online and was pleasantly surprised with a live feed of Bruins-Leafs instead. someone forgot to tell mlb that sportsnet ontario is showing the Leafs game. I hope no Twins fans are trying to watch the game.

go Leafs go.

Answer: 20 minutes, I got to catch half of the first period before MLB.tv switched over to TSN who is actually broadcasting the game.

my identity as a time stamp

at 2:38 I will be forever known as 2:38. You can refer to me as 2:38 if I say something stupid. For example. I could say that I saw a shooting star yesterday go across almost half the sky here in ottawa and quite frankly it's the 2nd best thing I've seen in 2 years here (the best being a Sigur Ros show where they did this crazy thing with birds).

And then you could say '2:38, you're a dumbass. There are no such things as shooting stars, only UFO's that come to spy on us. dumbass.'

And that's how we can talk, anonymously, and yet to each other. I'll be 2:38, and you can be whatever time it is for you. As long as this thing gets posted at 2:38, otherwise I shall look like quite the fool.

I think my mind has left me, and considering it's finals time, I couldn't think of a better time for it to leave. What's my reasoning for absence of my brain? In two weeks, with baseball starting, NHL and NBA playoffs coming, this, my time stamp identity idea, is the best idea for a post that I could come up with. On the plus side, I'm up to chapter 5 in my story about how a cow got into a foyer. Maybe that's where all my energy is going.

This song made me laugh quite a bit. I hope you enjoy.

brokeback hockey

Caution: This clip has partial male-male nudity, as Pavel Datsyuk is seen undressing Tomas Vokoun last night in Detroit during the shootout.



Tomorrow night we come to you live, from Montreal and the Bell Centre to tell you about the Leafs in their playoff hunt.

As for the Ottawa Citizen, they are on a "death watch" for the Leafs. I wonder, is it a rivalry if only one side cares about it?

faulty camera in my mind

This is to tell you to go watch the video for Death Cab for Cutie's song What Sarah Said. Click here.
This link will be useless in 5 days (March 27).
Go, listen, watch. Google the French.

Here's a swan.

AFP/Valentina Petrova

blogger trap

I've fallen into it, but I just read something that I can't ignore. ESPN is one of the major player's in sports media (if not the major) and recently has done a few things to tarnish its own reputation. Last night, on ESPN, they had a love in with Drew Rosenhaus. I caught a clip from espn.com, but Eric McErlain watched the whole thing and has a better take.

Today is a different day, and under a different light I read this courtesy of ESPN Page 2's Dan Shanoff in his Daily Quickie:

T.O.-nanism": Fans who gratify themselves over their team's signing of a player who, just days before, was one of the most loathed opponents in franchise history.

It must be a banner day for personal-injury lawyers in Dallas, what with all the whiplash cases from fans who used to hate T.O. now lined up begging for him to preen on the Cowboys' midfield star.

"But he's our jerk" is the simple explanation, and it has become one of the most basic laws of sports fandom. Here are a couple other recent examples:

Kings fans: Ron Artest
Mets fans: Carlos Delgado
Eagles fans: Terrell Owens

The corollary? "Damonizing": Fans who flip-flop on players who as recently as last season were heroes, until they jumped ship to another team. Let the boos rain.

Meanwhile, T.O. is coming out with a tell-all book in July sure to dis his ex-Eagles teammates. Who had 48 hours as the over/under of the point when Bill Parcells regrets signing him. Enjoy that mini-camp, Coach!

(Do the optimistic/naive 46 percent of fans who voted in SN that they think T.O. and Tuna can peacefully coexist want to change their vote?)

So. Carlos Delgado is a jerk? I fired off a quick letter in response.
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I used to read your daily quickie very frequently. However, by lumping Carlos Delgado as a "jerk" alongside Ron Artest and Terrell Owens, I am ashamed for you. This is a tragic piece of journalism, considering one of your peers on page 2 wrote an article on the rights of an individual to quietly protest (emphasis on the quiet part, it took someone going "hey, what's he doing? Look at this guy over here, hey everybody, look at this guy over here" for people to notice), and then we have you calling him a "jerk" for doing so. If he has done anything else to warrant that label from you, it is beyond me. From where I stand Carlos Delgado is one of the finest individuals in sports today (if you had any idea what he does for Puerto Rico you would be ashamed of yourself). America should be proud to have Carlos Delgado as one of its citizens.

God Bless Carlos Delgado.
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Just so you know, Carlos Delgado chooses to stand along side his teammates during the seventh inning break for God Bless America, because he was quietly protesting, and he realized that his choice had become not quiet and instead had become a distraction to the team.

I leave you with this thought; Dan Shanoff is a.....

Parochialism n : the quality or state of being parochial; especially : selfish pettiness or narrowness (as of interests, opinions, or views)

taste the cookies

I don't know why, but for some reason in class this morning, when my stats prof started using an example about 'tasting the cookies' I couldn't help but chuckle. Maybe it was the 8:30am Mondayness of the class. Maybe it was the lack of breakfast in my system. Maybe it was that something extra in the coffee, but every time he used a form of 'taste the cookies' (which he used often) my amusement grew. Finally, I had to put my head down and hide the uncontrollable laughter that stemmed from him stating that the purpose of the survey was 'to get customers to taste the cookies.'

Right now, I don't get it anymore. Did he even say 'taste the cookies'? Cuz that's not really funny. Maybe it was the repetition of it. I'm going to start using 'taste the cookies' as an analogy, and see how that works out. Analogy for what? I don't know, everything.

'It sure is cold outside.'
'Yeah, I can barely taste my cookies.'

'Leafs have a big game tonite'
'Oh man, they're gonna have to win if they wanna taste the cookies.'

'What size coffee can I get you?'
'I dunno, maybe it would be an easier decision if you let me taste your cookies.'

'Dude, hot chick, 3 o'clock.'
'I sure would like to taste her cookies.'

I can see it starting to get a tad sexual in use, but like all good slang phenomenons, it's all about tasting the cookies.

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Sharks weekend report.

Well, they came away with the 3 points out of the four games, leaving them 2 points behind Vancouver for eight spot, and the Sharks have 3 games in hand.

The Sharks could have got all four points, but the game against Dallas was weird. The first thing Dallas put in the San Jose net was a player, he was kinda large and he sorta distracted (read: knocked over the Toskala)(did I spell that one right kenny?), allowing the Dallas shooter to put the cookie in the taster. I think the second goal Dallas scored was weak as well, but whatever, can't win them all.

Up next for the Sharks this week, a mini road trip. Tuesday in St. Louis, Thursday in Detroit, Saturday in Minnesota, Sunday in Chicago.

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Matt's a guy, and he pointed me to this next link and I'm blatantly posting a link to it because it's one of the greatest things I've ever heard. Trading, start with one red paper clip, and see where it gets you. This man is a hero to some, and he started blogging after I did, or so it appears, and he's gotten way more out of it than I have. And by way more, I mean tangible objects, I've gotten plenty of internet love.

Coming up next week: Blogger groupies. Where are you? Seriously. I've even got a term coined, bloggeroupies. Not the most creative, but please come and taste my cookies.

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Last, but not least. Congrats to the 4-time reigning CIS Mens Basketball champions, one of them might even be in one of my classes (see groupies, I'm even giving away the location of my school), the Carleton Ravens. When asked how it felt to win again the guy on the right said 'damn, those cookies taste sweet!'

you break my record, now i break you, like i break your friend

Proud papa that he is, and considerate husband too, Nils Ekman.

Left wing Nils Ekman practiced with his teammates Friday morning after missing Thursday's 5-2 victory over St. Louis so he could be with his wife, Johanna, for the birth of their first child. Mother and son, Melvin, were doing fine, but Ekman wasn't able to watch the Sharks because Fox Sports Net was not available in the hospital's maternity wing.

``I watched the baby channel and `Bloodsport,' '' Ekman said, referring to the 1988 Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. ``I watched it with no sound so I didn't disturb Johanna.'' (David Pollack, The Mercury News).

So heading into a big weekend against Dallas today and Colorado tomorrow, the Sharks should try to come away with at least 2 points. Right now they're in tenth in the Western Conference, 3 points behind LA (in the eighth spot), with 3 games in hand. That doesn't factor in Anaheim, who is one point behind LA with one game in hand on LA. There are still too many games left to even begin to draw up first round match-ups in the NHL, so instead I present to you the Belgian Brawler.

Sharks have 18 games to play the rest of this season, with just over a month to go. That means a game at least every other day. The key is to stay healthy, with lots of energy, skate hard, play our game, try not to make the same mistakes that last period and come out strong the next one. And other cliched remarks.

One last thing, if you are a Sharks fan, and you happen to be around James Bay, and you happen to stop by Moose Factory, I advice you to share your feelings with someone there, more specifically, share your feelings about one Jonathan Cheechoo.

Joe Thornton. There, I managed to mention the Sharks whole first line in this post. And last week I got Nieminen, McCauley in Goc in one. Coming up next, Bernier, Marleau and Michalek and their impact on 21st century relations between North and South Korea, more specifically how that line managed to get the two countries to submit one team into the next World Cup of Soccer and why the Czech Republic and Slovakia should not follow suit in hockey (because they would win everything)(also, those countries very different from Korea in terms of political history, I'm just saying that a hockey team combining those two countries would seriously kick ass today, and that it's not so far fetched because at one point recently they would have been under one flag).

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umm... tv kills. . yeah. that's all that really can be said about that.

sing with me

Music/sports video. Made by Pierre-Olivier Doyon. Music, Aerosmith, song, Dream on. Artist, Alexander Ovechkin.

crazy love child

With their win over Nashville last night, Sharks now sit 5 points behind Edmonton with 2 games in hand, and 7 points behind Vancouver with 3 games in hand. The Ducks are sitting in 9th, with the same amount of games played as the Sharks but 3 more points on the year.

For a full report on the game, I suggest you go here to Sharkspage.

Instead of recapping the fight filled game, I borrow a sketch from Conan O'Brien. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the love child of Todd Bertuzzi and Chris Chelios......Keith Carney.

Alexander the Eight

Alexander Ovechkin. Overtime, March 10 2006 against the New Jersey Devils.
Your mission, Mr. Ovechkin, should you choose to accept it, is a search and destroy. Here are your targets (note: some targets are duplicated to ensure elimination); White, Martin, Martin, White.



Gawd, what I would do to see this kid play in the playoffs. Hurry up and get good Washington.

he's baaaaack

You think Doug Wilson has a short memory? This guy helped to kill the Sharks two years ago in the Western Conference Finals. Aquired from the Rangers for a 3rd round draft pick this year; in his first game in a Sharks uniform he tied for the team lead in hits. Ville Nieminen, welcome to the Western Conference playoff race. He started the game on the fourth line with McCauley and Parker, played more in the second, even replacing Ekman on the top line with J. Thornton and Cheechoo, and finished the game back with McCauley and Goc.

Oh yeah, San Jose won in regulation over Edmonton, 5-2. Edmonton had their new keeper in net and from the looks of things it wasn't as bad as the score appears. It was 2-2 heading into the third, but then San Jose decided to get some goals.

With 21 games to play (and two games in hand) the Sharks sit 10th in the conference and 6 points back of Edmonton. Edmonton made some of the biggest moves at the deadline, and with Vancouver going out and aquiring a NHL caliber defence core, it's tough to see who will drop out of the playoffs. Most likely result is that San Jose is going to have to earn that playoff spot by playing hard hitting hockey like they did last night.

Up next for the Sharks are the Nashville Predators, for an afternoon tilt on Saturday. Needless to say, for some teams on the outside looking in right now (i.e. Leafs, Sharks) the playoffs have started now.

On a personal note, I didn't hear a thing about Nieminen all year from New York and am interested to see what John Davidson has to say (if anything) about this trade this Saturday Night on the Satellite Hotstove. My feeling is that John Davidson is probably the best hockey mind on American television (he could be a GM), and as a reporter with the Rangers, he will have some good insight on possibly why the Rangers would part with such a key playoff performer in exchange for draft picks when they're in the playoffs themselves right now.

sharks report

Anaheim is just one team the San Jose Sharks have to leap frog to make the playoffs
(AP Photo/Francis Specker)
There was a big game in the western conference tonite. I'm following the Sharks really closely from here on in till the end of the season. Here are my top ten reasons (not that I really need any) for doing it (in no particular order):
1)Had they not lost Sturm with a broken leg, they might have beat the Flames and made the Stanley Cup final against the Lightning a few years ago. Although I made tons of dough by betting on the Flames to win the Conference that year. I have a gambling problem when I lose, tons of friends when i win. Well, no, actually my friends tell me I get big headed when I win. It's a lose-lose situation I guess.
2)I got long odds on the Sharks winning the Western Conference, and if they make the playoffs it could be interesting.
3)I'm a Leaf fan, and although they did win tonite, I find that I can't objectively report on them and also I only get to really watch them on Saturday nights.
4)Sharks are a west-coast team and I usually don't go to bed early and I don't mind listening to the streaming audio of the games from nhl.com. I was listening tonite and the announcers were truly upset at the fact that they lost in overtime. "Nabakov makes the save, OH NO! Marleau put it into his own net." Not completely homers (although a few more listens will give a better analysis of that) but more along the lines of announcers truly caring for their team.
5)I've read somewhere that Neil Young has season tickets to them, and if they're good enough for Neil Young, then they're sure as hell good enough for me.
6)I'd like to see Joe Thornton do well. I find it intriguing that the top two picks from one draft year are playing on the same team (Marleau 1997).
7)This guy is probably better equipped than me to do it, but I have no problems finishing 5th in a race of 3.
8)I really hate studying for stats, but I really love reading baseball stats.
9)My xbox broke, and I've got time to kill.
10)I may have been wrong about the WBC being crappy, and even though MLB.tv won't let me watch the games that i've subscribed to (a pox on them until they fix my problem, I'm sure I'm high on their list of priorities. crap) I would like to be wrong more. It humbles me. Please, feel free to comment on my inadequacies.

So anyways. The Sharks lost a big game on the road, but they came away with a point. But now they go home for a 6 game homestand including two big games against teams they are chasing. Thursday Edmonton comes into town and Monday the Kings roll into town. I'll have more of an extensive report on Thursday.

time sucking machine

i mean, it's not like you ordered a game from ea sports online and waited with baited breath until it got shipped and then were so excited when you started to play that you played all day the first day you got it and then some more the next day and you noticed that the game was choppy, but didn't think much of it, and by the third day your xbox decided to stop fucking working so now you're like a lost puppy wandering around wondering where home is because you have no home without your xbox and your new favourite baseball game is no more and so instead you surf the internet googling "why?" and "what did i do to deserve this?" and then you realize that there's nothing you can do because you have a modded xbox and it was ironic that a game that you bought legally would bring it to its knees and then you google "ironic", find all the time wondering, hoping, that life isn't all that ironic and perhaps it would be nice that you have all this time that you would have spent playing the brand new video game that you waited 2 weeks for to come in the mail and you felt like it was christmas when it did come and now you think that all that time waiting, anticipating, amounted to 2 days of fun and perhaps its time to get out of the house and deal with actual people and maybe you should try to see a sunset again because those things used to be nice.
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a good time as any for a Radiohead video. the acoustic version of creep done by low morale.

and we'll see you tomorrow night

Kirby Puckett. 1960-2006

my Mom's favourite baseball player.

messin' around with the interweb

ok, so the audio isn't the greatest but here's hoping that this works.
a video of wolf parade, live, playing the song i'll believe in anything.



that was fun, I might have to start making my own mix videos of songs and sports highlights. Speaking of sports.
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Here are some reasons why the World Baseball Classic will most likely not be as good as hyped.

1. Rules involving pitchers are as follows, a pitcher must:
-have at least four days rest after an outing of 50 or more pitches
-have at least one day of rest after an outing of 30-49 pitches
-have at least one day of rest after consecutive innings
Pitchers must also throw no more than:
-65 pitches per game in round one of the tournament;
-80 pitches per game in round two of the tournament; and
-95 pitches per game in the Semifinal and Final of the tournament.
-A pitcher may exceed the maximum per-game limits in order to complete a batter's plate appearance.
-If a pitcher is within 20 pitches of a prescribed limit at the beginning of an inning, the Game Operations Technical Committee will inform the head umpire, both managers and the ballpark public address announcer. The technical committee will immediately notify the head umpire when a pitcher has reached his limit set forth in the rules (which includes finishing a batter's plate appearance, if necessary). At that point the head umpire will inform the pitcher's manager who must remove the pitcher from the game immediately.

2. What happens if a team ends up getting blown out and has to use up alot of pitches? No worries, there is a mercy rule.

3. Game Operations Techical Committee?

4. Classic already? The Fall Classic I can believe, but the March Classic? Can this really compete with the playoff pushes in NBA and NHL, not to mention the NCAA tournament?

Basically, with the schedule they have set up, a team will be able to use a pitcher once in each round, with relievers able to be used more frequently, which isn't all that dissimilar from the regular season. However, and this has been done to death, the timing of this tournament sucks ass. Players, especially pitchers, are in no-way ready for full game intensity. Plus the other major sports are in full swing. Most likely the WBC will be a hit in every country except Canada, South Africa, U.S.A., Netherlands, Australia, and Italy.

Maybe baseball should copy the NHL and break for Olympics <-- That's a joke. I'm not quite sure which of those two evils the baseball GM's would prefer.

man down

Missed 27 games trying not to have surgery on his wrist. If he had it he'd be back by now. Instead, he has to have surgery now, and is likely done for the season.

I know in Leaf nation this might be blasphemy, but thinking about this and the increasing possibility that the Leafs might not make the playoffs, I am reminded of the Coldplay song, Fix You.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

This next month could really suck.

the sky is falling

Leafs fans on radio after losing to the Sabres had two major points.
1. Trade Sundin for major young superstar prospects.
2. Quinn should be fired. His fault and Olympics loss showed he is done as a coach.

Needless to say, I disagree with them.

How come no one has called in to comment on the sustained drop in price of chicken breasts? For the last month they've been running at sale prices at a few of the local grocery stores here in Ottawa, and my only conspiracy theory is that the if the bird flu virus hits, the farmers fear their stock of chicken will be worthless so they're getting rid of as many of them as quickly as possible.

I also think Felicity Huffman is going to win the Oscar for best female actress. Reasons being, she's a woman playing a man pretending to be a woman. Hilary Swank and Gwyneth Paltrow won for women playing men, I think Felicity just raised the bar. What did Reece Witherspoon play? The harpischord or something.

I should state that I have seen neither film, and am just judging based on those reasons and that I found 1:5 odds to bet on Felicity with (bet one, win 5) and only 4:5 on Reece. The other candidates aren't going to win. I hope.

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Why does Saturday Night live repeat sketches on new episodes?

more for me than you

wake up.

finite time passing.

make a list of things to do with finite time. i.e. go to Wembley stadium and catch a concert/football match.

find the internal mental switch which creates that which puts me at ease.

learn to leave the past behind and put my head up to see the future.

learn how to see again. difference between looking and seeing. just because you look, doesn't mean you see.

Raptors lost to Atlanta at home in overtime. Forget playoffs, play for lottery now. Read a blog that was giving accolades to babcock for being like J.P. Riccardi of the Jays, saying that they both blew up the foundations. They did, the only difference was J.P. seemed to have a plan (i.e. stockpile arms in the minors) and you can't really stockpile youth as much in basketball so all babcock really did was blow up the team. I counted to ten, swore at the guy, and decided not to comment on his belief that babcock did anything noteworthy. It's not hard to dump salaries and contracts when there are people like isiah thomas out there.

what's really cool is being able to reach out in the dark and find a bottle of water. i was seeing something that I couldn't look for with my eyes.

I was hearing something that i couldn't believe was coming from my mouth.

I was reading a face on the street, a reflection of a lost soul wandering aimlessly through the shadows. It disappeared behind a street light and then the light went out.

i'm not overwhelmed, i'm underwhelmed and dauntless. the truth doesn't scare me because the truth is empty.

i study history, try to learn math. numbers and words. math has words, and words have numbers. only one number is spelled out in alphabetical order. forty.

i've lost the momentum for this evening.

Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.

questions

why am I still awake?

oh yes. the work thing. I suck at school work. Well, not really, I'm pretty good at it, but at 6 am I suck at it.

plural in the title, means more than one.

hmm..

i totally had something interesting to say and then as soon as i started writing it disappeared. never fear, as soon as i go into the shower next it will come back to me.

I just remembered.

in between the bowel movements that bookend this thing called life, what more can we really ask than for some laughter?

peace out Mr. Furley.




Don Knotts 6/24/24-2/28/06

Congrats, Mats

CP, Frank Gunn
"Sometimes hockey has no country"- Borje Salming

crap

shit fuck balls. visors. fuck. IIHF rules. fuck. Interference calls. fuck. fuck quick whistles, fuck. passing to Heatley when you have an open net Richards fuck. defence can't break out pass fuck. Brodeur was the best. fuck. Ovechkin fuck. i'm now useless for the rest of the day and fuck. fuck non wooden sticks. every team plays with Canadian intensity in the olympics fuck.

fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

roomates who hate each other

Marriages aside, this is what can happen when two people end up living together for a long time. It starts off as one person being irked by the loud chewing noises that the other makes. Years and years of that plus dirty dishes and pots that one has to clean before they use. Slowly but surely the tension builds until you find out one day that there is no toilet paper and then you take a sledgehammer to your roomate and he has his own quirks about you that he hates and he counters with a shotgun. Who will win? The person who can end it all with a pull of a trigger or the person who can use a sledgehammer to beat down (and out) their frustration?

Thanks to Bourque newswatch for the link.

Saturnine adj 1 : born under or influenced astrologically by the planet Saturn2 a : cold and steady in mood : slow to act or change b : of a gloomy or surly disposition c : having a sardonic aspect [a saturnine smile].

tweet, taxi!

Someone call the Canadian Olympic team taxi squad and get me Eric Staal on the phone. We need to ask him the formula for kryptonite for Martin Gerber.

Perhaps some of the Team Canada brain trust should have gone to the Spengler Cup this past December.

Pronger just took a really stupid penalty. Stupid on every single level. On a very small scale could that be considered a penalty, but I'm not the ref here.

5 minutes to go, Canada down 2-0. Now the Canadian players won't stop moving their legs.

Also, I don't have to testify at the trial of the NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE OFFICER who was indicted for gambling.

Sports Illustrated (and other mainstream media outlets) owe Mr. Wayne Gretzky an official apology for wasting everyones time with the headlines accusing him in the mess that also included (incase you haven't heard) a NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE OFFICER. I pick on SI because they sent 3 people over to Torino to further investigate Gretzky's involvement in the gambling story that involved a NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE OFFICER.

Operation Slap shot my ass. James Harney, an eight-year veteran of the New Jersey state police. As this blog is proof of, just because someone writes something down and distrubutes it, doesn't make it or them credible. With the internet and our new digital ecosystem, I give newspapers a few more years until they go the down the same path that radio did when television came along.

Congratulations Team Switzerland on your victory over Canada. Did you know I have a keychain from your country even though I've never been there? Martin Gerber kicks ass.

Why do we fall Bruce? To learn how to pick ourselves up again.

beaver dam

I'm wondering if I'm getting softer in my old age, or perhaps it's the absolutely ludicrous weather in Ottawa right now, and I just enjoyed a women's hockey game. Anyways, nothing against chicks playing sports, but usually hockey has been pretty lobsided in favour of the North Americans.

. A 19 year old goaltender from Sweden, who by now has probably received countless marriage proposals from Swedish men (sorta like Katarina Witt) even though those men might not know any more about her appearance than this.


REUTERS/Shaun Best

The Swedish team is young (#16 on that team is actually 16 years old), with a great goaltender, and nothing to lose in the gold medal game against Canada. Anyone who has followed the Swedish mens hockey team over the last 10-15 years, might find it ironic that a goalie was their best player.

Finally, in a note of self-promotion, I might want to point out that in this very blog I predicted that Sweden would do well in hockey this Olympics and even though I was talking about the mens team, I'm gonna check this one off as a correct prognostication.

olympic thoughts

Some musings while watching Canada play Germany in Olympic round robin hockey. Sakic just scored (from Bertuzzi and Nash) on the powerplay, and it's 2-0 Canada.

-I can't believe Sweden lost 5-0 to the Russians, after the Russians lost to the Slovaks. Perhaps parody is setting in.

-It took seven seasons, but I finally won the Super Bowl with my fantasy drafted Chargers. Although my friend Kenny was able to move his fantasy drafted Raiders to Toronto in the off season, so I'm not sure who is the winner. Is it the video game citizens of San Diego, the video game citizens of Toronto or all the women who got peace and quiet instead of 70+ hours of conversations with us filled with witty anecdotes about our video game filled lives? Yes, it takes over 10 hours to play a season and we're in season seven. And we're just getting started.

-3 to zero Canada, Gagne just scored.

-The day you turn your oven on to pre-heat and your eyes start stinging is the day before the day you have to clean your oven.

-Gillette Fusion. 6 blades. 5 on one side. I'm just curious now to see how many blades they can fit on a razor now. Personally, I'm going to buy one of those old fashioned brushes to apply shaving cream, a rock, and a single blade (like barbers use). And a rock. I'm going to sharpen the blade on the rock, and watch civilization build a razor with so many blades that it will come with a decapitation warning.

-Speaking of grooming, did you ever wake up and say "I think today I should brush my teeth?" Mothers and people in the dental industry everywhere just cringed. I'm just kidding, but not really. I bet lots of people do that, and most are single guys or guys in college. We're like hamsters; we like to keep food around in our mouths for later.

-I came up with most of these thoughts in the shower, which made me come up with another thought. I realized that if someone ever invented a waterproof, wireless, laptop, it would be a huge seller. There you go engineers, a gift of a million dollar idea.

-Ever blow your nose so hard that you end up farting?

-Having a pretty woman ask me if I'm interested in a fish taco just before showing me a platter of tacos filled with fish is akin to having her say "I need another hand for this job." Perception is filled with filters.

-I'm hungry.

crash monday

6 lugers, 4 skiers, 2 speed skaters went down today in Italy. Some badly, too badly to continue. And some put on the Olympic spirit. Like this pair of figure skaters.


Hao Zhang and Dan Zhang

I once said figure skating wasn't a sport because of the judging element. As I type this I'm witnessing a young pair of chinese figure skaters and the ladies name is Dan Zhang. She missed a landing on what I think was a quad toss (?) and spread eagled the landing, probably busting up one of her knees. They stopped the program, stopped the music, I was sure it was over. 5 minutes later she decided to continue the program, and her partner Hao Zhang is going to throw her again. This is an unbelievable display of heart. Figure skating. I never thought it could.

And they won the silver medal.

Olympics kick ass.

note to self

next time get the nightime, drowsy medication. on the plus side, olympics on CBC. so I can watch the best physical atheletes in the world while I sit here crippled by sinus. It didn't help my self-esteem when the Herminater skiied yesterday with a major flu and was doubled over at the end of the downhill and I was too 'sick' to boil water.

i have a cold

Self medicating involves not paying attention to stupid people, because my patience is worn thin with this congestion. With no other outlet for the frustration caused by stupidity, due to beeing cooped up in the apartment with a cold, I tend to judge more so than normal. And I yell at the computer screen when stupid things are presented. Much like you might be doing right now. But something has been building for the past week and I just snapped. Right there, just did it. Here is the literal translation of my anger.

Gretzky is innocent. Any Canadian who even slightly insinuates that he should not go to the Olympics because of gambling allegations should do us all a favour and jump off the 15th floor of the closest building they can find. Quick, go. Jump.
(Photo: REUTERS/Finbarr O'Reilly)

Other goings on recently, asides from blatent stupidity prevailing, is a coincidence where the latest NHL general managers meeting took place in...



Las Vegas.

ouch. bad timing.

Band: Wolf Parade (recommended by a friend who I should give thanks to, thanks kenny). Song: I'll believe in anything. Great song.

because nobody knows you, and nobody gives a damn either way.

soccer, north american style

Here's a heads up to NHL coaches everywhere. Get yourself an acting coach. Teach your players how to act on skates. I don't mean disney on ice; I mean fool the refs into calling stupid penalties. It's perfect, once your players can fake without being caught for diving, your team will get numerous 5-3 advantages and be able to score almost at will.

Even if your team is the Pittsburgh Penguins, 3 weeks with this acting coach will have the refs in your back pocket. Coincidently, the Olympic break is coming up, so we're offering a crash course over that time. You'll get three weeks worth of instruction in one and a half.

Seriously, the only major sporting officials who aren't under my ire right now are those who can pinpoint locations of objects that travel upwards of 90 miles per hour. Basketball, Fooball and Ice Hockey are just a joke.

feign 1 a : to give a false appearance of : induce as a false impression [feign death] b : to assert as if true : pretend
2 archaic a : invent, imagine b : to give fictional representation to

I think I should just go to bed and tomorrown 'm going to wake up, and call a do-over on today.

another mystery solved

Napoleon. What was with the hand in the jacket dude? Well, I think I may have solved the mystery of why he put his hand inside his coat today. I caught myself doing the exact same thing, and for some reason I thought of Napoleon.

I know you're on pins and needles, so I'll get to it.

You see, Napoleon used to have a discman, and he would put the cord up through inside his jacket. He had a defective one and with discman's being rare (ipods rarer still), he couldn't exchange it. Back in those days you had to be an emperor to own technology that wasn't going to be invented for a couple of centuries. Anyways, he got the first discman to ever come out in France, and wouldn't you know it? The earphones were sketchy. So, in order to keep music pumping through them, he had to hold his earphones in a very certain way. And that happened to involve his hand being in his jacket.

Ergo sum, he put his hand in his jacket, holding the earphones, pumping through the tunes that got him through those days. We all have had those days when you wish that the music in your ears was all there was. Rock on Napoleon.

nothing left to see

Staring into the darkest of lights, a computer screen in the middle of the night. Waiting for a file to download. Wondering if Radiohead will come out with another album, and where it will take me. I'm thinking this one will be done, (to borrow a phrase from their song 'gagging order') just to take the edge off.

It's so cold here, but not really. It has been colder in the past, and probably will be in the future. Nevertheless, CBC's weather page doesn't list a high for tomorrow. It lists a low of -17, but they're not even bothering to list a high. Which is a good thing, because you don't dress for the 5 minutes during the day when it might reach -13.

99.6% done.

the defence rests

A player will be ruled in bounds if he touches the pylon at the goal line before going out of bounds. For example, a pass would be considered complete if one foot touches the pylon and the other foot is in bounds.

AP Photo Mark Humphrey

Tell me it was the wind in Ford Field that moved the pylon and not Darrell Jackson's right leg before it touched out of bounds.

After this play, Hasselbeck turned to the official and the camera showed him mouthing the words "what's going on?" to the ref. What was going on, NFL?

A question is, after the blown Rothlesberger touchdown, did Seattle have any challenges left to challenge the play?

Madden also said during the game that "sometimes you think you see something when it's not really there" (he was referring to a call made by an official against Seattle). I would call that bias.

imagination takes over study time

On some airlines, they offer complementary beer. Now, say I was travelling to a foreign country, and started consuming copious amounts of alcohol to make the time go by drunker. This is what happens.

Customs Agent: Passport please.
Me: Here you go. What's the cover in this country? In Canadian dollars please. I'm Canadian.
Agent: That's wonderful. (looks at what was handed to him) Sir, this is your drivers license.
Me: Oh sorry. Yeah. Hooo. It's kinda bright in here isn't it?
Agent: May I see your passport sir.
Me: Oh yeah, sorry man, I carry one of those belt thingies to keep stuff safe. One sec. (Proceeds to undoe belt and drop pants instead of taking off passport belt. Then hands the belt to the agent). It's in there.
Agent: This is your belt for your pants. Sir, please pull up your pants.
Me: (looks down). I see. (Looks back up).
Agent: (Hands belt back to me).
Me: Ah thankya. (Takes off passport belt this time and gives it to the agent. Reaches down to do up pants and falls. Decides to put pants on while on the ground).
Agent: Are you here on business or pleasure? (Looks up from passport to see no one there). Sir?
Me: (from the ground) Business.
Agent: Please get up sir. Thank you. State your business.
Me: Gimmiesomewater.
Agent: I'm sorry?
Me: My first order of b-hizness is to get some water. And then some pizza. Where's good pizza? I need a cigarette.
Agent: You can try the airport cafeteria.
Me: Fan-fucking-tastic. That is so, oh man, you have no idea how clutch it is for the airport to have a cafeteria. Man, in Canada, you can't even smoke inside anywhere man, any-fucking-where. Such a gip.
Agent: Your welcome sir. One last thing before we let you go, do you have anything to declare?
Me: I'm drunk.

what's the quota?

It's the end of the month and the officiating in the NHL is getting worse. That must mean that there is a quota of penalties called that a referee has to reach each month.

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
Sidney Crosby sits alone in the penalty box in a game against the Islanders. The NHL is looking into expanding the Penalty Box seating area to accommodate the addiction to penalty calling their officials have. Also on the agenda is the proposal for adding a 2 minute minor penalty for exhaling, that is when a player breathes, and the force of that breath knocks down an opposing player.

Watching the Leafs-Habs game and holy crap are the penalties bad. The officiating has transformed the game into Falcon Beach on ice.

I don't know what that means either.

What it means is that I've taken shits, wiped my ass, and come up with better dialogue on the remnants of my toilet paper than the writing on this show.

Seriously, Falcon Beach sucks, and so does the officiating in the Leafs Habs game.

Although the Falcon Beach has a concept of Party Girls which is kinda cool. Not as good as the Arrested Development idea of Girls with Low Self Esteem though.

I found my dictionary.

Interdict transitive verb 1 : to lay under or prohibit by an interdict
2 : to forbid in a usually formal or authoritative manner
3 : to destroy, damage, or cut off (as an enemy line of supply) by firepower to stop or hamper an enemy

what's in a name?

Today the Deviled Eggs Society went against its own constitution to announce the end of their previous handle. Citing numerous focus group studies, they have come to the conclusion that the dish known as 'deviled eggs' is dropping the word 'deviled' from its name.

An 18th century term meaning spicy, the word deviled has been found to be harming the production of the tastily spicy cold eggs dish. "People would just boil eggs and eat them and not wait for them to get cold, fearing that they would be selling their souls for the tasty treat" said Admishin Farnstinoggle, the president of the Deviled Eggs Fan Society. "So we decided that if we stopped calling them deviled eggs, and just went with 'eggs' or 'coldy treatertons' or even 'somma dem spicy eggs', more people would eat them."

Same cold eggs, different name. Our children are the better for it.

babcock fired

"In hindsight, we should have gotten someone more proven." -Richard Peddie, President and CEO of MLSE January 26, 2006.

Now that he's gone, lets go ahead and speak ill of the dead. When you are going to trade for players, it might be in your best interest to talk to them yourself and see where they are. If the team you're trading with won't let you talk to the players involved in the trade don't do it. The last thing you want to do is trade for a guy, trade your most marketable guy for that guy, and have that guy not want to play for your team.

It's not rocket science, it's called good business. It's totally Babcocks fault that he traded a guy who didn't want to play for the Raptors for a bunch of guys including another one who didn't want to play for the Raptors. Actually, I think the count is up to two now with Eric Williams reportidly demanding a trade a few weeks ago.

Raptors up by 14 at the half.....

and then Kobe decided to show up.



Yeah. So the Raptors lost because of one man. You might hear about how this goes to show how selfish he is, or how ruthless he is. What cannot be disputed are the simple facts. 81 points. And, as a Raptor fan, it's just humbling and awe inspiring to see this occur. I'd much rather see a Kobe drop 81 than a Leafs drop a 7-0.

Mamba. You seriously rule. Congratulations. Even Jordan hasn't done what you just did. For all the shit that might be thrown your way, you are one hell of a basketball player.

Seriously folks, I don't even care about the loss. Bravo, well done.

Remember when he had 63 points by the third earlier this season and quit because the Lakers were winning? This is what he can do when he needs to.

Now I'm going to swear. Holy fucking shit. Pardon my French, I'm a little drunk.

Don't forget to vote. VOTE! Seriously, 81 points and vote.

and now we go live to our correspondent on the scene

So I just got back from the 7-0 Ottawa beating of Toronto. I'm here with my buddy Mike and we both have a few things to say about tonites game. I'm going first, because I am.

Me: Ok, first of all, most fans ever (apparently) at a hockey game tonite 20,093. Lots of Blue and White in the stands. I start a "go Leafs go" chant off the puck drop, and by my third go, the sens have scored. Things do not look good.

They didn't get better. Leafs lost, Belfour was left out to dry by Quinn, I lost my voice by the second period. I hate Spezza. Kid's got talent, but he's a prima-donna. I really don't like his attitude. He's going to get his clock cleaned one of these days. I come to the realization that I will bet on Sweden to win the Gold medal at the Olympics.

That's all from me, I think Mike has something to say. Go Mike.

Mike: Wow, I'm actually saying something here that's not anonymous. I feel so important. Thank you Hoss... err Hossim. Well, first of all, by letting Eddie come out to play the second period after the way the Leafs played in front of him in the first Quinn was basically slapping hall of famer Eddie Belfour in the face. But when he let him come out to play the third, he was pissing in his face. Yes that's right, PAT QUINN PISSED IN THE FACE OF EDDIE BELFOUR. Secondly, the sens fans suck, they're not even fans, I view them all as bandwagon jumpers. As soon as the Sens current winning era is over, they'er going to lose their team, mark my words. In Montreal, I feel a true rivalry, the fans are more passionate and seem to have more fun. With sens fans it's like they have some inferiority complex, it's like a younger brother beating an older brother at something, the younger brother is careful not to boast too much or rub it in the older brothers face because he knows that in the long run he'll get his. And in the long run, Ottawa will get theirs... that being the Sacremento Senators... you heard it here first. Thirdly, I'm going out to party now... woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

life as a video game

Ever play video games? I do. Mostly I play sporting games. Currently here are the games I play; College Hoops 2k6, NHL 2006, MVP Baseball 2005, Madden 2006. Usually I take a team and play in franchise mode. Owning the team, and getting to play at the same time. Sometimes, rarely, I create a player with my name and assign attributes that I think I would have if I were an athelete. Sometimes I make a perfect player, one who is the fastest, strongest and most talented.

I do this in my fantasy universe, and then this guy comes out and steals my idea. This guy decides to come out and do it in real life. This guy decides to be a hockey player. This guy decides to be unbelievably talented with special cheat codes that allow him to score goals on his back while not facing the net. Who is this guy?

(AP Photo/Paul Connors)

Umm....yeah. Monday January 16, 2005. Phoenix Coyotes versus Washington Capitals. 5-1. 11:54 of the third period. The Great One coaching the visiting squad. Later, Gretzky would say (of Ovechkin's goal) "that was pretty sweet... you know, he's a phenomenal player, and he's been a tremendous influence in the game. It's great to see, because he is that good." (AP)

If you want to catch a clip of what I'm talking about, go to http://mirtle.blogspot.com/2006/01/ovechkin-t-800.html and click on the first link.

Thanks James.

As a side, watch the reaction of Boyd Gordon after Ovechkin puts it in the net. He's the Capital who sped down the ice with Ovechkin and had the best vantage of the puck going into the net. Boyd looked like a 3rd wheel on a hot date. After the puck went in I think he just did a lighting-fast life evaluation and came to the conclusion that as good as he ever thought he was, he would never be nearly as good as Ovechkin. Perhaps he thought "I'm not really needed here, is anyone really needed here?" I'm going to spend most of my time in my STATS class tonite coming up with different thoughts that may have passed through Boyd's head while standing at the side of the Phoenix net.

Here's one more. "Would it really have been that bad if I touched the puck before it went in the net?"

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As a hockey fan I should just note that I heard from two radio sources (Team 1200 and CBC radio 1) about the Anaheim Mighty Ducks today. They played in Boston yesterday and don't play again until Thursday here in Ottawa. They've got some time, so they spent some this morning on the Rideau Canal playing hockey. I don't know why, and frankly don't want to know why, but hearing that a professional hockey team was playing some shinny with kids just makes my day.

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I'm adding Off Wing opinion to my links because Eric McErlain who writes there knows what he's talking about. Plus he's in Washington and I take back what I said about moving the Caps away from there. I would never wish that on a hockey fan, not even here in Ottawa.

I'm also going to the Leafs-Sens game this Saturday and am very excited about that. I'm going to be "one of those guys", loud, possibly intoxicated, and wearing a Leaf jersey.

Go Leafs Go.

go figure

Raptors hired Gene Keady on December 9, 2005. In just over a month since his hiring, the team has gone 8-8. I'd say that's a good thing. Team seems to be able to distributed the ball better on offence, but the defence is still slightly suspect. To wit, last night against the Bulls, Raptors started the game 7-7 from the field and still were only up by 5 points.

Things are looking up in Raptor land. The team sure does seem to be jelling. Anyways, here's something Gene Keady did 5 years ago on David Letterman.

Top Ten Purdue University Basketball Head Coach Gene Keady Tips For Looking Your Best

10. Shake head violently. If a single hair moves--keep spraying.

9. You can find some snazzy ties in the stadium lost and found.

8. Always comb with the grain, not against it.

7. Yelling at players makes your face purple -- that's sort of like having a tan.

6. Tight pants highlight the fact you're a member of the "Big Ten."

5. Don't be one of those guys with hair plugs -- I mean, who do they think they're fooling?

4. I live by one simple rule--try to look better than Dick Vitale.

3. On special occasions, I like to use a little eyeliner.

2. Never, under any circumstance, go to Letterman's barber.

1. Forget "six-pack" abs...just go for the six-pack.

[applause]

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Watched one hell of a hockey game tonite between the Leafs and the Canucks. Leafs dominated the Canucks in the third period, but still lost 4-3. Steen scored one hell of a goal on a backhand on a breakaway against Auld, and seemed to be playing with some passion, when he was holding onto his stick that is. Domi is paired with Sundin, who got a lot more icetime tonite then usual 22:37 (his average this year is 19:24). But he didn't lead the Leafs forwards, that goes to Mr. Steen who pulled off 23:17. Big man on the night for time was no suprise. No McCabe means 31:49 for Kaberle.

Notable offences on the evening go to the Vancouver fans where music was played and then instead of saying "charge" or "go Canucks" they were chanting "Leafs suck." Which seems to be the trend for the Leafs on the road. It seems that the 5000 or so Leafs fans on the road are louder then the 18000 they pack at home, in terms of cheering for the Leafs. I went to a Leafs-Habs game in November and at least the Montreal fans had the decency to try and drownout the "go Leafs go" chant with a "go Habs go" one. In some stadiums (like Vancouver) the home fans just drown the chant with boos.

Like Reggie Jackson once famously stated, "fans don't boo nobody's".

Encomium n : glowing and warmly enthusiastic praise; also : an expression of this

boo

Guess who comes back to town tonite?

(AFP/Getty Images/File)

Ex-Magic, ex-Raptor. The one man wrecking crew. He'll end up ruining something, whether it's his own team or the team he's playing against. Kids these days, who knows the value of team? Canada Junior team

So here's the deal. Toronto has to be near the top of booing crowds in the world. This is not a judgement on the people, strictly an observation. Heck, even I've gone to Raptor games and booed Stoudamire, Carter, and McGrady everytime they touched the ball. Rob Babcock has been spotted on TV wearing earplugs for home games. I've only been to one game this year (thanks to a good man named Ross) and, well, I was pretty drunk so I don't remember if anyone was booing Babcock. People do hold up signs though. Maybe he should wear horseblinders. To his credit, I saw him on TV during the last game, I mean ant-stomping, of the Magic without the plugs. Rob, people (like me) who disrespect you and some people who shout at you and call you things like "Raptor Killer" are in the same boat as you. We all want the team to do well, and when we're mad, we're not exactly yes-men. Stand up for yourself and keep the earplugs out, at least while the camera's are on you. I saw you on "Off-the-Record" with Michael Landsberg and you sat there and did well.

Back to the boo-birds in TO. We got Alomar pretty good after he left, and man oh man did the Toronto fans give it to Raffy Palmeiro last year. Booed so loud that earplugs weren't enough, he had to tape them on and stuff them with cotton as the game went on. If Rose and Jackson aren't in the Hall buddy, neither are you. Numbers can be overshadowed. Maybe you should advertise for your inclusion, on a spot that might never be filled (check raffy25(dot)com top banner).

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Back to Basketball, the Raptors are only 3.5 games behind the Magic and the Celtics for the last playoff spot in the east. A boy can dream can't he? Speaking of dreams, I dream't that the Sacramento Kings were either in, or won the NBA championship. Ummm....yeah, that's not going to happen.

Raptors play the Rockets tonite, Nets on Sunday, and Bulls on Monday, Bobcats on Wednesday. 4 games in 6 days. And then it begins. Between January 15th and 29th (two weeks) the Raptors play NINE (!) games. Including what is traditionally known as a scheduling "perk". Perk my ass. After hosting the Knicks on the 15th (which is 4 days after their previous HOME game against Bobcats) the Raptors go to Utah to play two nights later, Portland the following night, Seattle two days later, Lakers two days later, Denver the next night and then back to Toronto to host the Bulls two days later. Ugh. That's an 7 game stint in 10 days sandwiched by two home games and filled in with a little 5 games-in-a-week western road trip (!). Double ugh.

So yeah. Talk about testing your mettle. Good luck boys.

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Speaking of Western Road trips, the Leafs are on one too. Best divisions in hockey meet this year (Northwest and Northeast). You know what's frustrating? Growing up with a simple Norris, Smythe, Adams and crap, I forget the 4th one right now. Well, I still haven't gotten my head around the new NHL division allocations, alls I know is the best teams should, and do, play in the Northern divisions. Anyways, the worst team in the Northwest is the Wild, and a quick glance shows that they have as many points as the Habs who are 4th in the Northeast. It's been a few years (thanks to the lockout) that we've seen the Flames, Oil and Canucks and it will be the last for a few more years (barring Stanley Cup final matchups and preseason) so enjoy.

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Going for the Grand Slam of sports- blogging (all four major sports) in one post. NFL football playoffs.

Lets see, a Sunday a few weeks ago I was flipping by a high scoring game and I had no interest in stopping to watch. It was the Bucs-Skins. Lucky me, they play again on Saturday. I'll probably watch Hockey Day in Canada as the winner of this game won't get passed the second round.
Prediction: Habs 5 Sens 3 (they play at 2, it's hockey DAY).

Gawd damnit Cartman, you are such a fat ass. You went and scheduled the Leafs-Oilers on Hockey day in Canada at the same time as the ONLY playoff game I really want to watch. Jags-Pats. I like the Jags but have come to the conclusion to never, ever bet against the Patriots with Coach and Brady. Which means naturally that they'll find some way to tie.
Prediction: no flipping channels between 7-8 that night, and then massive channel flipping between 8-9:45, and slight channel flipping between 10-11:30 (Canucks-Flames). Leafs win, Pats win. Pats-Indy second round. It would be no other way.

Carolina-New York. This one time, I lost a chip, but didn't know it. A few days later I found it under the cushions when I was looking for my phone. It wasn't as crispy, but it still had its flavour. I am telling you this because I have no football dialogue to contribute to this game. I can't even start a sentence to analyze it.
Prediction: It might rain, that makes the field slippery and the Giants kicker missed a couple of clutch field goals against Seattle. My Carlos Delgado bobblehead doll agrees with me.

Pittsburgh-Cincinnati. Um, another toss up. Cincinnati can't stop the run, and Pittsburgh can run. Cincinnati can really throw the ball well.
Prediction: Might be the best game of the weekend and I will probably have no money left to bet on this one.

Have fun, bet a little, and yeah. Go Leafs/Raptors Go.

just who is watching?

Half way through the NHL season, and the race for Phil Kessel is on. From watching a few USA games at the world juniors, I haven't seen too much from the kid that solidifies number 1 draft pick status, but he is still filling out and should make a nice line partner with Rick Nash. It would be nice for him to go to Columbus.

So, lets see how the new NHL is doing. Today, we check on you, the fans. Some idiosyncrasies that have been found by checking the files. Attendence notes. I'll do them in the form of percentages because stadium capacities vary.

Home
Top 5
1. Calgary 112.4%
2. Ottawa 105.3%
3. Tampa Bay 104.6%
4. Toronto 103.1%
5. Minnesota 102.9%

Bottom 5
26. Carolina 77.5%
27. St. Louis 74.0%
28. New Jersey 72.5%
29. Chicago 71.6%
30. Washington 68.7%

Notes: Vancouver, Philadelphia, Detroit, Montreal and Colorado also have 100% capacity so far.

Road
Top 5
1. Vancouver 100.7%
2. Detroit 97.8%
3. Philadelphia 96.4%
3. Colorado 96.4%
5. Montreal 96.3%

Bottom 5
26. Nashville 86.7%
27. Columbus 86.5%
28. Washington 85.6%
29. Atlanta 85.1%
30. Tampa Bay 80.1%

Notes: Umm... yeah. So the defending Stanley Cup champions are the worst draw in hockey, by a fair margin? Maybe the NHL needs to keep running those 'My NHL' ads during hockey games, and only during games. In fact, I don't think I've seen a 'My NHL' ad that has not been either on a sports network or during the game. Perhaps I should to follow the NHL policy and officially promote my blog, on my blog. I'll use numbers to pad my stats like when people are reading my blog, 100% of them are reading my blog and 50% of them are my mom (Hello Amma, I'm still alive).

While I'm off on this, it's stupid like that whole thing about fans not leaving the stands during the shootouts. Well, duh. Getting them to not leave their seats should not be their problem, getting them into those seats should be. And when the defending champions are not enough to draw fans into the seats, well. Arg, my anger is akin to hunger anger. In fact, I probably do need to eat (Don't worry Amma, I'm eating well). Lets just move on

Overall
Top 5
1. Calgary 103.0%
2. Vancouver 100.9%
3. Detroit 99.0%
4. Philadelphia 98.7%
5. Ottawa 98.2%
5. Colorado 98.2%

Bottom 5
26. Atlanta 83.6%
27. New Jersey 82.5%
28. Chicago 81.4%
29. St. Louis 80.8%
30. Washington 76.9%

Notes: Washington might have the most exciting player this year on their team and very few people go to see him. I saw him do an interview on TSN last night between periods and he's not so eloquent with his english (perhaps slighty more so than myself) and yet looking at him I can't help but feel that he needs to be traded to a new city. In fact, they should trade the Manitoba Moose for the Washington Capitals.

Overall Notes: If I were to ask you which teams get a better draw on the road than at home you'd probably guess quite easily. Washington qualifies because no-one goes, but there are 12 (!) others who also draw better (percentage wise) on the road than they do at home. Almost half the league is a better draw on the road, which goes to show that those who watch, watch a lot. My NHL, best ad campaign ever.

Anyways, the answer(s) would be Boston, Phoenix, Buffalo, New Jersey, Carolina, Anaheim, NY Islanders, Chicago, St. Louis, Florida, Nashville, Washington, Atlanta all draw better on the road than they do at home.

Millen Man March

Well news out of Detroit is mutinous. It's crazy. First, the fans have the Millen Man March prepared for the tailgate party before tomorrows game against the Bengals. No doubt it's a protest. Secondly, and this is completely crazy, another protest has people being asked to show up in Bengal orange and black and to cheer for the Bengals.

I can't believe they might do that. Detroit people, follow hockey. You've got Zetterberg, Datsyuk. Hell, the Pistons are kicking serious ass this year too. What are they, 17-3 now? Leave the Lions alone.
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As a Leafs fan, I have no idea what to expect in tonites game against the Sens. I'm going to sit in my apartment wearing my jersey and clinching my teeth while yelling at the tv. Unbiasedly, I predict a 5-4 win for the Leafs. Seriously.

you say tomato, i say potato

Watching the French language leaders debate on CBC Newsworld, I find myself incredibly bored. Harper, Martin, Layton and Duceppe are answering public questions and bashing each other at the same time. For some reason it reminds me of a show I flipped by last night. I think it was called America's Next Top Model, or something, and it had a reunion show on the set of Tyra Bank's daily talk show. Anyways, it was a show with all the contestants and they reminisced and blah blah blah. I was watching because it was filled with models, not because they might have something to say.

Anyways before I got to the mute button, I learned some things. For example, Tyra Banks has no idea how to conduct an interview, from what I saw. Every question she had for someone else was a 5 second answer for them, and a lead in for a two-minute story by her. She's really egotistical. I couldn't believe it.

Tyra: So, how do you feel about stealing Nikki's line?
Generic Model: I didn't even know I was stealing her line.
Tyra: I know exactly what you're talking about. This one time, on the set of this music video I saw the choreographer do this move for another girl and then when it became my time I just stole it. Because it was, and will always be all about me.
Me: can't find mute button.....aaaahhhhh the pain, the pain, make it stop.
Tyra: Wooo, yeah.
Me: I think she just randomly 'woo-ed' and 'yeah-ed'. I really have to stop talking to myself out loud.

I used to think she was hot, and now can only stand her if I have a mute button nearby.

Back to the debate, it's all about what the leaders have done. Best question of the night asked so far was from a lady who basically asked if they (the leaders) swear to keep their campaign promises.

Oh, snap! Layton just went over the 15-second limit and didn't stop to complete his Martin bash.

Anyways, none of them answered the question initially, as if they weren't programmed to tell a lie about telling the truth. All their synapse simply stopped working. All your base are belong to us.

And the best line of the night belongs to the CBC.CA live blogger.

8:38 p.m. EST
Who provided the uniforms for these guys? Was there some kind of ruling issued that said they all had to wear the exact same outfits - dark suits and light blue shirts?

So true. Whoever the live blogger is, they kick ass. Not just for that remark, but for the general informed tone of their posts. Well done good blog people.

Why am I watching this debate throughout? Because I want to watch something while I eat my cake and drink my milk.

Anyways, it is going to snow like heck here tonite.

nuit blanche : white night : a sleepless night

the clock is dead, long live the clock

20 years. I've had my alarm clock for over 20 years. Last week it decided to tell time in an accelerated fashion. Meaning that, when it was supposed to be 8:00 am, it was actually 11:00 pm, and 9:00am was 11:15 pm. I had it for so long, the radio failed to work, and the buzzer sounded more annoying then the one at Philips Arena.

*Digression- Even the commentators on Turner Sports hate that buzzer that goes off when the Thrashers score a goal. It's so freaking annoying, it's not funny. Although, if I was in charge of that horn I'd probably do the exact same thing. As a Leafs fan, haven't heard it much, but if you caught the Red Wings-Thrashers game last night, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's just about the most obnoxious horn in the history of horns.*

So my clocky died. I went out and got another one. My life has changed because of it. Lo and behold it not only had sleep and snooze buttons, but it also had a nap button! A freaking nap button! So I went home and tried out the nap button. It's great, if I want to take a nap, I hit the nap button, and set it anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours (default is 20 minutes). Plus it has a 2-alarm setting (one could be the radio and the other could be a buzzer). So if ever I needed to set two separate waking times, I could do it without screwing up. It's gonna be my new pick up line for chicks. "Hey baby, check it out, I got two alarms. Yeah, that's right. I can wake up, and you don't have to until your alarm goes off." I'm gonna have to start beating the women away with a stick. Ahh delusion. Good times.

Nap button. I don't know how I napped without one.

I've also decided to retire the numbers 19, 99, and 93. Yzerman, Gretzky, Gilmour. 13 is well on its way to being retired. Mats Sundin he will go down as the greatest Leaf captain ever. I welcome your arguments.

Habanera n : a Cuban dance in slow duple time

he lays in the reins

So, a week or so ago, Doug Wilson (GM of the San Jose Sharks) was walking down the street. A carefree soul, even though his hockey team was under performing. He knew that they have the talent to succeed. It just takes some time for them to mesh in the new Gary Bettman Hockey League. As he walks, he's whistling the tune of 'the man comes around' by Johnny Cash. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees this in a window.


[picture courtesy of Heather Creegan at soveryobsessed(dot)com]

He thinks to himself, "I could use a Thornton. I already got one, and he's working out pretty well, I sure could use another one. It won't hurt to go inside and see if I can get me one more of those Thorntons."

So he walks in. The guy at the cash register looks kinda frazzled, like he hasn't slept in a week. Doug says hello and asks about the sign in the window. The guy behind the cash yelps, and runs into the corner. Doug caught a glimpse of the cashier's nametag, it said 'Sullivan'.

A door opens. A man walks out. He calls himself 'Mike'. Doug asks about the cashier, and Mike responds,

"Oh don't worry about him, he's just a little frazzled. It's been a trying time for all of us here at the store. Business is slow. Winter is coming, and we're out of eggnog. Want a Thornton?"

"Sure," Doug responds, "how much?"

"Oh, not much. A first line winger, a solid defenseman. Prefer those two to be Canadian. A first round draft pick because this Thornton was a first overall pick. And another scoring winger. But we need a German winger. Not too many people have German wingers that can score. In return for those three, you get a franchise player, a six-foot bruising playmaker. We've already developed him, so he's just entering his prime."

"I see." Doug starts searching his pockets, trying to play it cool. It sounds like a good deal. Mike incorrectly interprets Doug's movements as a sign that he might be searching for his car keys. Just last week Mike did almost the exact same thing to exit when in conversation with his friend Wayne. Mike reached into his pockets and set off his car alarm and then excused himself. Mike quickly adds.

"Look, either we get rid of this Thornton or one of Sullivan or myself has to go. It's our best product, and the commission we make off of this transaction will feed us come the holiday season. So here's what I'm going to do. Even though this is already half-price of what Thornton merchandise is worth, I'm going to get rid of the first round draft pick demand. And, remember that first line Canadian? Well, he doesn't have to be a first line one, but he has to have an older brother in the league."

Doug is having a hard time containing his excitement. He has a Canadian defenseman to spare, he's got a German scoring winger (the rarest of the German wingers) and he has a winger with a brother in the league. And even though that winger took a puck to the face and instead of skating off stayed on and shot the puck that hit him from the blueline into the back of the net, Doug feels as though he can spare him for a Thornton. A Thornton doesn't come along everyday. To actual have someone who has a Thornton, a developed, over point-a-game pace Thornton, to have someone willing to sell one, and then at half price. Well, Doug had found the cell phone in his pocket that he was searching for and already text messaged "OMG-even strength problem solved" to his buddy Ron. Doug had a freaky skill of being able to compose text messages on his cell phone without looking at the keys.

Doug reached into his pocket, pulled out the Stuart, Primeau and Sturm that fit Mike's demand. Threw them on the counter, took his Thornton and left.

And that, my friends, is how Joe Thornton became a San Jose Shark.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ladies and Gentlemen, the new captain of your Columbus Blue Jackets. Adam Foote.

I wonder who is going to captain the Bruins now? Thornton (Joe) in San Jose is going to put up some bigger numbers without having to worry about captaincy. Their current captain, Patrick Marleau, has 12 (!) points in the 4 games since Thornton has joined the team.


Bedlamite noun Madman, Lunatic.

the insults felt so nice, i had to write about them twice

Check it out; wouldn't these numbers look good on a player for the Raptors?

MPG FGM-A FG% FTM-A OFF DEF TOT APG SPG BPG PPG 36.8 35-63 .556 50-61 4.2 8.4 12.6 0.6 2.40 1.60 24

Granted, those are only 5 games worth, but Pape Sow is doing a good job in the NBA developmental league.

As for the big boys, they put on quite the offensive display last night in Washington. I think the score was 61-59 for the Raptors at the half. They stood a chance, having the lead and all, but there was no defence for Gilbert Arenas. That man just kills the Raptors. Well, he kills a lot of teams these days but it sure does feel like he twists that dagger a little deeper when playing the Raptors.

But there is hope for the Raptor fans. Dare I call them the best 3-16 team ever? I think I can, because the word 'best' probably hasn't been used to describe a 3-16 team. But they've lost a few games due to bad calls by the refs, inexperienced plays by some rookies, and, well, just not scoring as much as the other guys. My nomination for Captain of the Raptors is Morris Peterson. From day one this season he's been the guy with the most positive attitude on the team. Bosh is the talent, Charles V is the future, Calderon is the crazy European, Arajuo is the screaming banshee, Joey "please don't call me golden" Graham is the flair, and Mo Pete is the heart. Where Jalen Rose fits into this, and more importantly Sam Mitchell's plan, is yet to be determined. Most likely he will be playing the role of "good player who can't d-up and for some reason is singled out for that even though the whole team can't." His abysmal shooting doesn't help the cause this year, although his durability is top-notch. What's that? It appears I've forgotten somebody?

I'm Mike James, bitch.

And him. So Mo Pete hits a crazy three at the end of the 4th to tie it, after missing a three and grabbing his own rebound. It was a good shot. But then they lost. All was for naught. Raptors have only had 4 games out of the 19 where they've had a better FG% than the opponents. They're 2-2 in those games (it was the only stat I could find that didn't make the team appear horrible). All I want for Christmas is some defence.

Insert segue here.

GM's and Presidents everywhere are under fire. Well, J.P. and JFJ aren't. J.P. added B.J. and A.J. and might be looking into getting C.J. from the Pirates. Mr. Babcock...has lots of family, or so it may seem.

But in Detroit, where they fired the coach, a fan held up a makeshift sign this past weekend.


In reference to Lions President Matt Millen. The fan was chased around the building and tackled by security. A few days later another Fire Millen signed showed up at a Detroit Red Wings hockey game. Ah, good times.

What are the odds that Millen takes another receiver with his first round pick this year? They could have drafted Shawne Merriman this year (who San Diego got from the New York Football Giants and Eli trade) instead of Mike Williams, and Jonathan Vilma the year before instead of Roy Williams (although Roy is a stud), and a whole bunch of guys in 2003 instead of the guy they're trying to get some money back from (Charles Rogers). Although you have to admire Mr. Rogers' attitude about the whole situation, he appears as though he just wants to play football. Rogers told the Free Press: Because this is football, man. This is the game you love, man. We was playing this game for free when we was born. It ain't all about the bread, you know?

Check out the list of names they could have taken instead of Joey Joe Joe Harrington in 2002. (Keep in mind they had Mike McMahon as a backup at this point, a guy who Millen drafted in 2001 and who would end up being 50-50 to start against Harrington until he left for Philadelphia this year. And if they waited a year with McMahon at the helm, a guy like Byron Leftwich was available for the taking. Hindsight is always 20-20, but just for shits and giggles.)

• Quinten Jammer CB-Chargers
  
• Roy Williams FS-Cowboys
  
• John Henderson DT-Jaguars
• Dwight Freeney DE-Colts
• Ed Reed SS-Ravens

Notice a trend? I like d-guys in the first round.

But I'm being harsh on Millen here. To his credit, he does appear to have a plan. The last first round pick that was used to draft a defensive player was in 1999, when they took Chris Claiborne. Millen started in 2001 and stocked up on the offensive line and then took skill players. For some reason filling the O-line with youth didn't add up, or hasn't so far. His drafts have consistently produced starters, and the Lions are still a young team. In fact, the only seriously questionable thing that Millen has done is fire Mariucci this year.

Dre' Bly blamed Harrington for Mooch's firing. Millen seems to have blamed Mooch for Detroit's poor record. Detroit fans blamed Millen for the poor performance. The fact of the matter is that football games are a delicate balance. Any given Sunday any team can win, right? Just that the Lions have been unlucky more than lucky so far this year. One thing the fans can count on is the Super bowl coming to town. A game, in my estimation, that will feature the Chargers and the Panthers.

The Colts will not make it because they do not exist in my football universe. They are a team from the future playing exhibition games with NFL teams this year. They do not qualify for the Super bowl.

Circadian : being, having, characterized by, or occurring in approximately 24-hour periods or cycles (as of biological activity or function).

and now for something completely different

I do not like Junk Mail and Spam
I do not like them
Sam, I am

I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like them in my mail
I read not, delete lot, they all fail

I will not read them on the train
I will not read them for a dame
I wipe them from my inbox
I do not need to swell my cock

I do not read them in a house
I would not, could not, click with mouse
I do not like Junk Mail and Spam
I do not like them
Sam, I am

Junk Mail and Spam
Junk Mail and Spam
I do not like Junk Mail and Spam
Sam, I am

ta-daa